


throw me to the wolves (and i'll return leading the pack)

by BestDeadFriendsForever



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure, F/M, M/M, Multi, This thing got away from me I'm so sorry but I wanted to do it justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:22:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 70,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestDeadFriendsForever/pseuds/BestDeadFriendsForever
Summary: Buck was talking with his pack- his whole body thrumming and the animal part of his mind rumbling contentedly in the back of his mind- but after a minute, he could tell they were distracted by something behind him.When Buck turned to see what they’re looking at, and muttering about, he felt something hot and cold all at the same time rush down his spine and that familiar pins and needles feeling prickle at the small of his back and the base of his skull. He didn’t have to glance at his reflection in the locker room glass to know that his body language was off and his eyes were unnaturally bright. “Who the hell is that?” Buck snapped and he couldn’t help the slight growl that emanated from his chest afterwards. Hen and Bobby laughed at him and Bobby shook his head at him fondly before explaining that it was a new recruit named Eddie Diaz.Buck was absolutely determined to hate the alpha from the second that Bobby introduced them.
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Abby Clark, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Ali Martin, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 18
Kudos: 358





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this anon I got on tumblr: heyy! Can I ask a buddie prompt? a werewolf AU where everyone thinks one of them is a beta since they never showed any signs of either being an alpha or an omega but that after meeting the other they start presenting signs of being an omega (since the other is an alpha) ????

Upon first inspection, most people would assume that Buck is an alpha. He fits all the stereotypes: he’s tall and broad, he’s stubborn, he can be reckless and maybe just a little bit possessive at times. Anyone who made that assumption- and there have been many in the course of Buck’s life- would be wrong. Unlike anyone else that he had felt comfortable asking, Buck never had that moment everyone else talked about where something in his chest shifted or settled and he’d presented as anything- alpha, beta, or omega. He’d just assumed that he was a beta since he’d never really felt any real pull in either of the other directions and no one had ever said anything about his scent.

He knew that his parents had been disappointed when he didn’t present like their friends’ kids had. It had been a big part of what had been the final nail in the coffin of Buck and his parents’ relationship. That and the constant comparisons to do something worthwhile with his life like Maddie was doing.

That’s when he’d signed up for SEAL training and left home. The training itself was difficult in a lot of ways, and while he’d loved the challenges, he ultimately decided that it hadn’t been for him. He couldn’t just shut down and follow orders. No matter how many times his superior officers had- against various regulations- tried to push a little of their status into their commands. Buck had felt it grate against something in him, but he’d dug his heels in stubbornly when he didn’t feel like whatever it was they were instructing him to do was the right thing. When his direct supervisor told him that he wasn’t sure this was the career for Buck, Buck had taken the ELS and thanked his supervisors for the opportunity.

Instead of going home, which didn’t seem like an option given that he didn’t complete his training and had decided against military service as a career like his parents had tentatively approved of, he’d taken the money out of his savings and bought a ticket to South America. He wasn’t sure what it was that made him choose there, but he found that he really liked it. He tended bar on the coast, moving towns a couple times when things were too slow for him to sustain himself or when he just got bored of the scenery and people, and found that even though he didn’t really feel like he had a purpose, it was closer to what he wanted than studying pre-law or pre-med like his parents had all but forced him to do before he’d joined the SEAL training program.

He did that for a summer before he decided to go back to the States- things getting dicey for werewolves that weren’t assimilated into typical pack groupings- and he found himself in L.A. His family had a vacation home there, so he just opened it up with the spare key that he knew his parents kept hidden in the flower box near the front windows. He was researching what to do with the rest of his life- since he hadn’t finished school and he didn’t want to squat in the house for any longer than he had to- when he came across the application for the LAFD Academy. He read over the qualifications necessary and before he’d thought it through, a trend in Buck’s decision-making process, he’d applied. A week and a half later, he’d been accepted into the Academy and was on his way to becoming a fulltime member of the Los Angeles Fire Department.

When he’d first started at the 118, he’d already been alone for so long and so he didn’t immediately fall into the natural order of being in a pack. He wasn’t really sure how he fit into the pack that was already loosely established there. Everyone else had their own individual packs- that Buck had either heard about or smelled in their scent- but Buck was young and unbonded and without his biological family. But Buck had tried to fit himself into that dynamic. It had unfortunately led to some raised hackles on Buck’s part on more than one occasion, but he’d just learned to navigate within the structure of the team and find his own little niche there.

Bobby wasn’t the typical alpha. It might have been something about Bobby’s personality, or maybe it was just that he was older than the alphas that Buck had inexplicably found himself trying to avoid, but Bobby never held his status over any of the others and the only typical alpha trait that seemed to come out was his paternal worrying- sometimes smothering- that he had for everyone on the team. It had honestly been a major part of what helped Buck to settle into the 118 and made him feel like he’d found his own pack. The other two members of Buck’s ordinary shift crew were Hen and Chim, both paramedics and both betas, who welcomed Buck easily into their ranks like he was a younger sibling. Something deep in the back of Buck’s brain had all but preened as he’d surrounded himself in the scents and presences of his packmates as much as he could.

With the pack dynamics and the roles that they all so naturally fell into, Buck as the youngest tended to be the butt of Hen and Chim’s teasing and the recipient of Bobby’s most intense paternal instincts, both positive and disapproving. This was especially true when it came to Buck’s sex life.

Buck had a constant stream of sexual partners that didn’t last particularly long, he wasn’t looking for anything long-term because he was still young and pretty content to not be bonded to anyone, but every so often he would feel a sort of pins and needles itch underneath his skin that only seemed to abate with a quick fuck and a moment to breathe and cover himself in somebody else’s scent for a while. This impulse, because Buck wasn’t really sure what else to call it, had nearly cost him the only job that had ever really meant anything to him. So after that, whenever he felt that weird feeling settle in his gut and started crawling under his skin, he ignored it.

Until Abby.

Abby had felt like a turning point for Buck.

She was older than Buck by quite a bit, and she was an alpha which Buck had typically avoided in the past simply because alphas his age were just too much drama, but when they were together- besides their disastrous first date- Buck felt good about himself. Something about her made Buck want to be a better person, made him want to make her happy. The two things were synonymous in his mind. For a while, Buck had even thought that maybe with Abby he would finally be able to see himself settling down and bonding with someone- but then she was gone. Her leaving had left him feeling a little lost and very much as young as he still was.

His pack- and that’s what the 118 had become in his first year and a half with them- surrounded him and supported him as he dealt with her not being there. Yes, they were still together- or Buck was _pretty_ sure that they were- but it wasn’t easy to know that she was halfway across the world instead of somewhere where Buck could reach her. The sharp ache in his chest only intensified when her calls and emails started to dwindle and her scent in their apartment- _her_ apartment- started to turn stale and then fade completely.

He knew the others were trying to be helpful when they suggested that he move out, find somewhere new to live that was _just his_ , but he felt something deep in his chest reject the suggestion. Based on the way Chim recoiled and Bobby’s nose wrinkled up, his scent must have gone funny with something too close to fear for Buck’s comfort at being broadcasted- even to his pack. Buck had thrown himself into his work to keep from thinking about his home situation and the fact that Abby’s scent was completely gone from the apartment.

Then Maddie had come back into his life. He’d missed his sister more than he could express and he’d nearly shifted in shock at finding it was his sister instead of his girlfriend in the shower. They’d talked and Buck had just taken her in and the back part of his mind that had ached ever since she had left him all those years ago with their parents, it started to feel like it was healing a little bit.

Buck walked into the station with a huge grin on his face as he talked about the DXA scan he’d just gotten but after a moment he blinked. Something was different. There was a new tension in the station, and it was almost like the normal scent was off as well, but Buck pushed that thought away.

He was talking with his pack- his whole body thrumming and the animal part of his mind rumbling contentedly in the back of his mind- but after a minute, he could tell they were distracted by something behind him.

When Buck turned to see what they’re looking at, and muttering about, he felt something hot and cold all at the same time rush down his spine and that familiar pins and needles feeling prickle at the small of his back and the base of his skull. He didn’t have to glance at his reflection in the locker room glass to know that his body language was off and his eyes were unnaturally bright. “Who the hell is that?” Buck snapped and he couldn’t help the slight growl that emanated from his chest afterwards. Hen and Bobby laughed at him and Bobby shook his head at him fondly before explaining that it was a new recruit named Eddie Diaz.

Buck was absolutely determined to hate the alpha from the second that Bobby introduced them.

…..

It turned out that hating Eddie was a lot harder than Buck had originally anticipated. Between nearly getting blown up together as they pulled a live round out of a man’s leg, diving into danger by climbing into a collapsing high-rise after an earthquake, and finding out about Eddie being a single father to the coolest kid that Buck had ever met- Buck found that his animosity towards the alpha had slowly turned into something else. Something much gentler.

He’d only really ever seen Christopher in-person on the night that he’d driven Eddie home after the earthquake. Eddie had been practically vibrating in the passenger seat as Buck drove them to Christopher’s school so Eddie could get him. Buck hadn’t even had his Jeep in park before Eddie was jumping out and running inside. Buck had felt something in his chest go warm as he saw Eddie scoop up his boy, obviously scenting him by the way he was holding him tightly and burying his face in Christopher’s neck, and just hold onto him as tightly as he could without hurting him. The drive home after Eddie had carried Christopher out to the Jeep was quiet, all of them just exhausted from the day.

Eddie had invited Buck over since they both had the day off. Buck wasn’t exactly sure at first how to approach it. He and Hen- the only one of his coworkers with a kid- hadn’t ever hung out at her house so he didn’t know what to expect from being around a kid. He’d been around kids during calls before- and he loved kids- but that was completely different. All of Buck’s worries flew out the window when Christopher came and practically attached himself to Buck’s side from the moment he was in the door. Christopher showed him his room and some of his little projects that he had going on, all while Eddie watched in extreme amusement from his spot leaning against the doorway.

It’d only been a few hours, but Buck and Christopher both had settled into being completely comfortable with each other. Buck lifted Christopher up and onto his shoulder, the boy shrieking with delight as he clung onto the back of Buck’s shirt, before Buck moved over to the couch and carefully deposited him onto his back. Buck could feel the warm thrum of Christopher’s happiness as Chris’s eyes brightened.

“Careful now,” Eddie said and gave Buck a slightly stern look as he noticed the way that Christopher was teetering on the edge of shifting. “I really don’t feel like having to try and find a new sofa. If you’re gonna be rough- take it outside.”

Buck ducked his head a little before glancing up at Eddie through his lashes, a grin still pulling at his mouth. “Alright, alright.” Buck stood and he scooped Christopher up again and carried him out into the backyard, tickling at the boy’s sides as they went, before settling him in the grass. Buck helped Christopher out of his shirt and pants, making sure to put them safely onto Eddie’s back porch with Chris’s glasses, before tugging his own shirt over his head.

Christopher had already shifted- his shift still not as smooth as it could be since he was still so young- by the time Buck was kicking his jeans aside. Christopher yipped at him and Buck could hear the meaning behind it. _Hurry up_.

“Alright, kid,” Buck laughed as he shifted easily. Christopher came over, his legs still a little shaky even in this form, and nipped at Buck playfully before jumping up and barreling into Buck’s side. Chris didn’t really weigh enough to knock Buck over, but he rolled with the motion and together they fell into a tangle of limbs and carefully snapping jaws.

Buck danced away from Christopher and they were just chasing each other around a little before Buck heard Eddie step onto the back porch. Buck looked up at him and Christopher genuinely knocked him over in his moment of distraction. Buck let out a huff of air and he shifted back without really meaning to, Christopher’s wolf form much heavier when he was in his own human form. “You got me,” Buck laughed breathlessly as he smoothed his hand over Christopher’s golden-brown fur. In the blink of an eye Christopher had shifted back and was curling into Buck easily, his face pressed against Buck’s throat and laughing.

“Well, he’s definitely going to need another bath before bed,” Eddie said from where he was leaning against the doorway, but there was no trace of annoyance in his scent. He just seemed content to see Christopher giggling into Buck’s neck. Buck tilted his head so he could look at Eddie and Eddie rolled his eyes fondly at Buck’s apologetic smile. “Come on. Before the two of you catch a chill.” Eddie crouched down to grab the bundle of clothes and when Buck was close enough, Eddie helped Christopher put his glasses back on. Buck’s mouth went a little dry when he felt Eddie’s gaze lingering on him. He glanced over at Eddie and Eddie’s gaze was warm as Buck shifted his hold on Christopher. There was a fizzle of tension before Christopher shivered a little and Buck broke out of it to get the boy inside. Buck passed the boy off- despite his whine of protest- to Eddie so Eddie could get him cleaned up and ready for bed.

Christopher must have been getting sleepy from the strain of shifting and from their playing because he was in and out of the bath and bundled into comfortable pajamas in Eddie’s arms by the time Buck was finished getting dressed and had cleaned up a little from their pizza night.

“He wants you to tuck him in,” Eddie said quietly. Buck blinked in surprise, but Eddie didn’t seem put-out at all. Christopher was obviously trying to make an effort to stay awake long enough for Buck to be the one to put him down, so Buck just nodded and let Eddie transfer the boy into his arms. Christopher snuffled into Buck’s neck and Buck brushed his own nose against Christopher’s soft curls.

“Come on, buddy,” Buck said gently as he rubbed Christopher’s back and headed down to the boy’s room. He laid Christopher down and tucked him in snuggly, Chris’s eyes barely staying open as Buck adjusted the blankets, before just running his fingers through Christopher’s hair until he heard his heartbeat and breathing slow and even out. Buck slowly slipped out of Christopher’s room and he left the door open just a crack in case Chris woke up and needed something.

Buck wandered out into the living room, fully intending on saying his goodnights to Eddie and heading back to Maddie’s to crash for the night, when he was hit with a wave of Eddie’s scent but soured with agitation. Buck felt a whine in the back of his throat as he stepped into the living room to see Eddie- his back to Buck- with his shoulders hunched up as he pressed a phone to his ear.

“I told you I don’t know. I just-” Eddie was obviously suppressing a growl as he was cut off by whoever was on the other end of the line. “Shannon, give me a break. He’s still settling in and I-” Eddie let out a harsh breath. “Let me think about it. Yeah. Yeah, _alright_.” Eddie hung up and tossed his phone angrily into the couch cushions. His eyes lifted and Buck couldn’t help but take a halting step backwards at the amber glow in Eddie’s eyes.

“Everything okay?” Buck asked quietly, not sure if he should try and approach Eddie or not. He seemed like he was on a hair-trigger right now and while Buck knew the other would never hurt him, he still didn’t feel comfortable getting too close.

Eddie took a deep breath, his eyes slipping shut as he did, and when he opened them, they were back to Eddie’s normal hazel. “Yeah, sorry,” Eddie said and raked a hand through his hair.

“You want to talk about it?” Buck asked and took a small step forward.

Eddie jaw worked for a minute before he just shrugged it off. “It’s nothing. Promise.” Buck nodded slowly but he still felt a little apprehensive.

“I should go,” Buck said quietly and tucked his hands into his pockets, ducking his head a little. Buck thought he might have heard Eddie whine, but when he looked up Eddie was just nodding.

“Thanks for coming over and hanging out. Chris had a really good time,” Eddie said, and he pulled Buck in for an easy hug. Buck practically melted into it and his eyes slipped shut at how overwhelming Eddie’s scent was when Buck was this close to him. Buck pressed against Eddie’s neck for a moment, just breathing in the almost smoky scent that reminded him a little of fresh coffee, before he pulled away sharply. He felt that prickling all over his skin again and he had to forcibly keep his breathing even.

“Night, Eddie,” Buck said almost breathlessly as he tried to subtly breathe through his mouth instead of his nose.

“Yeah… g’night, Buck,” Eddie said with a bit of a distracted look on his face.

Buck tried not to look like he was scrambling to get his shoes on and grab his keys, but he was probably quicker than he normally would have been leaving Eddie’s house. His hands were a little shaky as he drove back to Maddie’s. He opened up the door and made sure to quickly punch in the code to her security so that she wouldn’t get an alert that would wake her up.

He walked into the living room, not expecting anyone to be awake in there, to see Maddie was sitting there curled up on the couch. She coughed the second she caught wind of Buck’s scent. “Oh my god, Evan. What the hell happened?”

“What do you mean?” Buck asked, fidgeting a little as he toed off his shoes.

“You smell like you bathed in mouthwash. What’s going on?” She asked and tilted her head a little. “Did something happen at Eddie’s?” Her light, almost fruity, scent pushed forward protectively as she shifted in her seat.

“What?” Buck’s eyes widened as he realized what Maddie was implicitly asking. “Eddie- no, nothing happened. I just… I don’t know. I feel weird.” Buck fidgeted some more and shrugged. Maddie stood and approached him carefully before putting the back of her hand to his forehead.

“You’re not warm,” she hummed and then smoothed her hand over his cheek. Buck tipped his head into the touch and let out a soft sigh as he slowly felt himself relaxing. Her dark eyes flicked over his face and she seemed to soften even more. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? Maybe it’ll pass.”

Buck nodded and headed down to where Maddie had set up an air mattress for him in her bedroom. It seemed a little childish, but Buck wanted to be as close to Maddie as he could ever since she’d gotten back. It helped settled the frayed edges of his nerves and being wrapped up in her familiar and comforting scent, especially so soon after he and Abby had fallen apart, made him feel more secure than he had since he was a teenager.

He changed into pajamas and had just curled up in bed when Maddie came in. She gave Buck a soft smile before turning the lights off and getting into her bed, but the side closest to Buck. She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair comfortingly until Buck fell asleep.

…..

Eddie had thought that he had things under control. He had a routine down. He’d wake up, he’d get Christopher up, they’d work through Christopher’s stretches while Eddie did his workout, they’d get cleaned up together- at Christopher’s insistence, not that Eddie minded _at all_ getting to spend more time with his kid- and have breakfast before getting dressed. Eddie’s Abuela had been really helping him out by looking after Christopher while he was at work. Without Shannon or anyone else to help him out, he was relying on the only person in L.A. that he knew he could trust with his boy.

The news about his Abuela breaking her hip- right in the middle of Eddie’s shift- had him scrambling. He was worried about her, of course, but he also didn’t know what to do with Christopher. Yes, Aunt Pepa said she could take him for the night, but there was still the rest of her shift at work and his own.

Buck had just assured him that things would work out as they walked out of the hospital, Christopher tucked up against Buck’s chest like he belonged there. “Alright, buddy, let your dad get you buckled in,” Buck said and handed Christopher back over to Eddie. Eddie gave Buck a short nod as Buck stuck his hand into his pocket and stepped toward the front seat of his truck. Eddie got Christopher situated and when he got into the driver’s seat, Buck was just hanging up the phone and sliding into the passenger side.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asked with a slight frown.

“Yeah,” Buck said and didn’t elaborate any further. “We better head back to the station.” Eddie gave Buck a suspicious look, but he couldn’t smell anything on Buck’s scent to give away whatever the other was thinking or planning. He drove the three of them to the station and he carried Christopher upstairs to the loft, bracing for a confrontation with Bobby. But Bobby wasn’t around.

The second that Eddie had gotten Christopher settled on one of the couches, his arm over the back of the couch by Chris’s shoulders protectively, Hen and Chim had come over and introduced themselves to Eddie’s son. Christopher was a little shy at first, but Hen, Chim, and Buck were quickly coaxing his son’s big personality out of him.

“I do this too much?” Chimney asked in mock-offense as he mimed talking with his hand. Eddie was grinning so much, and he glanced over at where Buck was laughing brightly by Chim’s side.

“We all agree,” Buck put in, and Eddie felt a laugh being pulled out of his chest as Buck leaned in conspiratorially from where Christopher was doubled over, his laughter squeaky and breathless as Eddie rubbed his back.

“Christopher,” Chimney gasped in outrage. “I thought we were buddies. What happened?”

“What’s this?” Bobby asked as he stepped up and the smile immediately was wiped from Eddie’s face as apprehension shot through him. “I don’t remember asking the Chief for any reinforcements. You any good on the hose, kid?”

“I can try,” Christopher said with that same megawatt smile that never failed to make Eddie beam as well.

“Alright,” Bobby said and tucked his hands into his pockets. He didn’t seem agitated or upset, but Eddie couldn’t help but fidget under the other alpha’s gaze.

“I’m so sorry, Cap,” Eddie said and stood up. “My aunt’s trying to get off work early, but until then… I- I didn’t know where to take him.” Eddie was sure that there would be a flare of annoyance or at least a displeased snarl from Bobby, but the other just shook his head.

“Yeah you did. Right here. Buck gave me a heads up, I already cleared it with the Chief,” Bobby said and glanced over at where Buck was sitting. Eddie looked over at him with wide eyes, that must have been the call that Buck had made at the hospital, for Buck just to give him a soft smile and a reassuring nod.

Eddie felt something warm settle in his chest, but then the alarm was ringing and they were having to go to work. Buck let Christopher wear his turn-out jacket in the truck and the animal part of Eddie’s brain was inexplicably pleased at seeing Buck and Christopher interacting with such ease, Buck treating Christopher with the same loving care that Eddie always made an effort to.

They bounced around calls and when Eddie was busy doing his chores at the station, he knew that someone was looking after Christopher and keeping him entertained until Eddie could go back up to the loft and keep an eye on him.

They were letting Christopher go down the pole- Chim and Hen helping him at the top while Eddie and Buck were supporting him as he slid down- when Pepa showed up. Christopher was holding onto Eddie’s hand and leaning into Buck’s stomach when she peeked around the end of the truck.

“Alright,” Eddie said and stroked a hand over Christopher’s head. “Fun’s over.” Christopher and Buck both let out whines of protest, but Buck just patted Chris’s shoulder as Eddie went to grab Chris’s crutches and his backpack.

“Bye, Christopher!” Hen and Chim called out as they moved to wave at Chris from their positions in the loft.

“Bye!” Chris called back and waved at them, giggling a little as he did. Eddie walked Chris over to Pepa.

“Good job today, kiddo,” Bobby said from where he was leaning against the wall to the locker room.

“You too, Cap!” Chris called as he took Pepa’s hand. Pepa and Chris were talking back and forth in a mix of Spanish and English and Eddie felt overwhelmed as he stroked a hand over Christopher’s curls. He turned to Bobby and before he could overthink it- he pulled the older alpha into a tight hug. Bobby hugged him back and while Eddie didn’t scent Bobby exactly, Bobby’s scent washed over him in a way that made Eddie feel secure.

“Thanks, Cap,” Eddie said before turning to help Pepa transfer Christopher’s car seat and get him settled. Eddie felt- for the first time since he’d come back from Afghanistan- that there were people that had his back. His family had all tried to help him, in their own way, but it had felt like pressure to try and fit back into the mold of the person he’d been before he’d shipped out. He wasn’t that person anymore. He swallowed thickly and pushed those thoughts away. They wouldn’t do him any good.

Eddie hadn’t forgotten about what the 118 had done for him, but it had settled in his mind when Buck asked Eddie to help his sister move. When he looked around and didn’t see any boxes, he felt his hackles raise a little. Something wasn’t quite right- and then Buck was mentioning introducing him to someone. The animal part of his mind growled and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“You didn’t set me up, did you?” He’d thought Buck would let go of the fact that Eddie didn’t date. There was so much that he didn’t want to unpack, and Buck was trying to help, yeah, but it would be awkward if Eddie had to spill everything.

“Just-” Buck bit his lip and the excitement in his eyes made Eddie’s mood sour. “Just trust me. This woman is exactly what you need.” Before Eddie could protest any more, there was a knock on the door. A bubbly beta was greeting Buck and giving him a hug before Buck turned to Eddie. “Eddie, this is my friend, Carla.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Eddie,” she said and held out her hand. Eddie noticed the ring on her finger and the faint scent of alpha that was on her. He felt a furrow form between his brows.

“Likewise.” Eddie shook her hand politely before glancing over her shoulder at Buck.

“Carla is L.A.’s finest home-healthcare aid. She has years of experience navigating giant bureaucracies and I thought she could help you figure out how to get Christopher what he needs.” Buck looked at Eddie like he wasn’t sure how Eddie was going to react, but Eddie couldn’t help but smile at Buck. He knew how smitten he probably looked, but he couldn’t help it. Buck had done this for Christopher- for _him_ \- just because he could. It was so… _Buck_. He had the biggest heart of anyone that Eddie knew.

“I’m red tape’s worst nightmare,” Carla said proudly, bringing Eddie’s attention back to her. “I’ll get you through this in no time. Now, let’s go sit down and see what you’re working with- besides that perfect bone structure and alpha magnetism,” Carla quipped as she brushed past him. Eddie couldn’t help but let out a short bark of laughter.

He turned to look at Buck and he gave the other a grateful nod before he brushed their hands together. “Thanks,” he murmured quietly before going to sit with Carla so he could lay everything out for her.

It was the first moment that Eddie really felt like he’d started to be a part of the pack at the 118. It was also when Eddie and Buck really started to become particularly close. Carla was- like Buck had said- exactly what Eddie had needed and Buck made sure to check in with both Carla and Eddie on top of the normal hangouts that he had with Eddie and Christopher.

Then Eddie was transferring Chris to a new school and he had to admit to Carla that he and Shannon were still bonded and that there wasn’t any formal documentation of Eddie being his son’s full legal guardian. Carla’s scent had spiked with shock and maybe a hint of disapproval before she’d sighed heavily.

Eddie was forced to bring Shannon back into his life, but he wasn’t going to bring her back into Christopher’s if he didn’t have to. They met at the house and Eddie hoped that Shannon wouldn’t project her scent all over. He didn’t want to confuse Christopher. His son had had a hard time adjusting when Shannon had left them the first time, Eddie had nearly been a stranger to his own boy at the time, and Eddie didn’t want that to happen again. Christopher was happy, and Eddie wanted him to stay that way.

They argued, which wasn’t really all that surprising, but it still left Eddie scrabbling for control so he could get out into the yard before he shifted. His clothes tore and it gave Eddie a moment of satisfaction as he prowled his back yard in agitation. It was a while before Eddie could calm down and shift back. He stared at the sky for a long time, trying to get his breathing under control, as he mentally licked his wounds.

Eddie had gone to the school the day of her parent interview and Eddie wasn’t sure why. When he thought of Shannon, he just ended up feeling more confused than ever. Shannon was his bond mate, she would always hold a little piece of him in the same that Eddie held a little piece of her. They had a child together. But she’d run from him- them- and without any indication of what her plan was for the future. Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face. He was so caught up in his head that he almost didn’t notice when Principal Summers came out with Shannon, the two shaking hands politely before parting ways. Eddie hopped out of his truck and he made his way over. She was snappish and angry with him, but the anger quickly morphed into the same hurt that Eddie constantly found himself trying to ignore.

They kissed.

At first, Eddie had thought it was what he wanted. Shannon was his _mate_. But something in his chest and the back of his head was screaming about how wrong it was and he found himself pulling back with a wince. “I shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly and opened his eyes to look at her. She frowned, but she didn’t say anything. Maybe that had been their problem: they fought so much about everything else that when they needed the other to fight for _them_ , they didn’t have the energy.

It was months before Eddie finally felt even close to comfortable about agreeing to let Shannon see Christopher. Eddie knew that he didn’t really have any reason to keep Shannon away from their son. When she’d first left, Eddie had been snappish and fiercely over-protective of anyone that tried to come even close to Christopher, but that had obviously eased. Buck was practically a staple at the Diaz household now and Eddie never felt anything other than an echo of Christopher’s happiness when he watched Buck play with his son.

But Shannon had kept calling him again and again to ask if she could spend the day with Chris. Eddie had tried to hedge and dance around it, but Shannon wasn’t having any of it. Christopher was her son too and she wanted to be able to hold him again.

Christopher was excited, which helped to ease a little of Eddie’s nerves, as he got out the LEGO set that he’d been working on to show his mom. Eddie left him to it, going into the kitchen to start on lunch, when there was a knock on the door. Eddie could smell Shannon’s scent before he’d even gotten the door unlocked and he opened the door with a tense smile. “Hey,” Eddie said and turned so that she could come inside.

“Hey,” she said and breezed in. Her scent was fresh and sharp, like lemons, and it should have helped soothe Eddie’s nerves since they were bonded, but it ended up putting his teeth on edge. It was out of place here and he itched at his nose to hide a grimace as he closed the door behind her.

“Christopher!” Eddie called and he tucked his hands into his pockets as he squared his shoulders, ready to make Shannon leave if Christopher showed any sign of distress at his mother’s presence. There was a soft scuffle as Christopher made his way out of his bedroom. His smile was brilliant as he caught sight of Shannon.

“Momma!” Christopher said and made a beeline for her. She dropped to her knees on the floor so that she could wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his curls. Eddie felt a small smile tug at his mouth as Christopher’s excitement bled through into his mind as well. Shannon pulled back, a confused expression on her face, and cut a glance at Eddie. Eddie stiffened a little at the obvious tension and building anger in Shannon’s posture. “I missed you,” Christopher said as he twirled a lock of Shannon’s hair around his finger.

“I missed you too, baby,” Shannon said and pressed a kiss to Christopher’s cheek. “So much.”

“I want to show you the new LEGOs I’ve been building!” Christopher said and tugged at Shannon’s shoulder. Shannon shot Eddie another glance that he didn’t understand before she went and followed after their son.

Eddie went back to making lunch and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck starting to prickle. He had no idea what Shannon’s issue was, but he wasn’t going to have her ruining Christopher’s first chance at seeing his mother in two years. He didn’t care what it was about. Luckily, the afternoon went fairly smoothly. Shannon was attentive when Christopher was showing her the various things around his room and telling her about his new school, about Carla, and then about Buck. Shannon frowned at the mention of the two new people in Christopher’s life, but she didn’t say anything.

“Alright, Superman,” Eddie said and lifted Christopher up so they were level with each other. “It’s time for lunch.” Christopher nodded and he leaned in to press his face against Eddie’s neck. Eddie kissed his temple and then set him on his feet, knowing that Christopher wasn’t particularly fond of being carried anywhere. “Remember to wash your hands,” Eddie said and gave Chris a stern look. Christopher diverted into the bathroom.

“Are you seeing someone?” Shannon asked suddenly- she’d kept her voice down so that Christopher wouldn’t hear but her tone was off.

Eddie shot her a sharp look. “I don’t think that’s any of your business anymore.” Eddie bristled a little at Shannon’s dismissive scoff.

“We’re still bonded, Eddie, and anyone being around Christopher is my business,” she snapped- her voice very nearly a snarl.

“I’m not seeing anyone Shannon,” Eddie said and shook his head. He knew that there was no way that she would drop the issue without him answering.

“Then who the hell’s scent is all over our son?” Shannon did growl at him that time and Eddie squared his shoulders.

He was about to bite out that he had no idea, but then he remembered the way that Christopher curled into Buck’s neck and chest as easily as he did with Eddie and his words died in his throat. “Probably Buck’s,” Eddie said casually though it made his heart pick up a little as he slowly put the pieces together. “But we’re not seeing each other. We work together.”

Shannon let out a sharp bark of laughter that clearly meant she didn’t believe him. “Oh of course, because you’d let just anyone scent our son.”

“Shannon,” Eddie snapped and her eyes flashed dangerously at him- raising Eddie’s hackles further. “You’re blowing this out of proportion. Christopher likes having Buck around and if he takes some sort of comfort in Buck’s scent, and Buck is okay with it, I’m not going to take that from him.” Her eyes narrowed at him.

“I don’t like it, Eddie.”

“I don’t care,” Eddie hissed under his breath and took a half step forward. “This is about Christopher- not you.”

“Christopher is _my_ son,” Shannon said and stepped into Eddie’s space aggressively.

“If you didn’t want him smelling like someone else than you never should have left him,” Eddie growled in the back of his throat. Shannon faltered back half a step and her eyelashes fluttered in obvious hurt. Eddie could taste the regret in the back of his throat, but before he could say anything else, Shannon’s eyes were going cold and hard again.

“You mean like _you_ did?” Shannon asked angrily and Eddie felt like he’d swallowed a chunk of ice.

“Daddy!” Christopher called and Eddie turned away from Shannon to go and see what it was that Christopher needed. Eddie gave him a soft smile and stroked his hair back away from his face before cutting off the crust of his PB&J- in Christopher’s words- like Buck did. Shannon came into the room to sit with Christopher, but Eddie moved away to start putting things back into the pantry. He didn’t want to be in the same room as her at the moment, not with his head spinning from Shannon’s barbs and the realization of just how essential Buck had become to their little family.

The rest of the visit passed with Eddie and Shannon avoiding speaking to each other unless it was strictly necessary, but Christopher didn’t seem to notice. He was projecting content to both Shannon and Eddie as Shannon helped Chris clean up the puzzle they’d been working on. Shannon shuffled awkwardly but she kept glancing at the clock and Eddie knew that she was going to leave.

“Alright, baby,” Shannon said as she combed her fingers through Christopher’s hair softly. Something in Eddie’s chest ached despite the anger that was still just under the surface. “I have to go now, but I promise we’re going to see each other again really soon.” Christopher’s mouth twisted a tiny bit at the corner, but he nodded and gave his mother a hug and kiss goodbye before Eddie silently walked her out.

Eddie stood by the door and he let his forehead fall against it just to give himself a moment to breathe and let Christopher do the same. “Daddy!” Eddie put on a soft smile and he walked into the living room where Christopher was sitting. He looked up at Eddie and just held out his arms silently. Eddie picked him up and settled Christopher in his lap when he sat on the couch. Christopher’s face was tucked up against Eddie’s neck and he plucked at Eddie’s t-shirt. “Can Buck come over?” Christopher asked after a while.

“Buck is working right now, buddy,” Eddie said gently, stroking his hand down Christopher’s back. He could feel some of Christopher’s nervous energy in the back of his head and part of him worried that he’d made a mistake with letting Shannon come over and see him. Christopher continued plucking at the collar of Eddie’s shirt restlessly. “What if I tried calling him?” Eddie asked, trying to figure out a way to make Christopher feel better. He knew that he was toeing a line- Buck wasn’t Christopher’s parent and Eddie felt like maybe he was putting too much pressure on Buck to step into a parent-adjacent role. But Buck had never seemed to mind. He loved Chris.

“Please,” Christopher said quietly and brushed his nose against the underside of Eddie’s jaw- a clear sign that he wanted comfort of some kind.

“Alright, but he may not be able to answer,” Eddie said, not wanting Christopher to get his hopes up. Eddie pulled his phone out of his pocket and he tapped in his passcode before FaceTiming Buck’s number. It rang twice before there was a soft shuffling sound and Buck’s face showed up.

“Hey,” Buck said, and he had a little furrow in his brow. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie assured him with a soft, though strained, smile. “Somebody just missed you.” Eddie lowered the phone a little so Buck would be able to see Christopher tucked up underneath his chin.

“Hi, Buck,” Christopher said and waved, the muddled feeling of Christopher’s emotions brightening a little.

“Hey, Chris,” Buck said brightly, and Eddie felt the jagged piece in his chest that had sharpened from Shannon’s visit start to smooth out a little. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Momma came and visited me. I showed her my LEGOs and we ate lunch and we worked on a puzzle,” Christopher said and some of the excitement came back into his voice. He chattered on a little about different things- topics pinballing around in the way that most kids do- and Buck smiled and laughed and nodded in all the right places. Eddie and Christopher heard the alarm going off in the background and Buck frowned a little before telling them that he had to go and hanging up after saying goodbye to Chris. Christopher seemed in much better spirits than he had been, and he got off of Eddie’s lap to go and get a coloring book so Eddie figured he better try and get something done around the house before his Abuela was tsking at him and trying to do loads of laundry or the dishes that were starting to pile up in the sink.

He was folding a load of Christopher’s laundry and thinking about everything that had happened during Shannon’s visit and he couldn’t help but be agitated. He knew that he’d screwed up by joining the Army when Shannon got pregnant, but he’d been young and convinced that there was no way he could support his growing family with the slow repair job that he’d been working alongside his father. The Army recruiter had made it seem like two years would be nothing compared to the benefits that Eddie- and indirectly Shannon and Christopher- would receive if he just signed up. And maybe part of him was terrified by the thought of becoming a father. So yeah, he acknowledged that in his first test as a father, he’d failed.

But that didn’t excuse Shannon judging him for allowing Christopher to take comfort in the support system that both he and Christopher had built up in L.A. When she’d left without any warning and minimal contact, she’d made it clear that she didn’t want to be a part of their lives in that way. Yes, Eddie had relocated to where he knew she was, but she was Christopher’s _mother_. Eddie took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand over his face.

He was drained emotionally, but he could still feel the agitation and low-level anger bubbling just under his skin. A quick glance at the calendar confirmed what he was starting to suspect: he was due for a rut and that was what was keeping him irritable and keyed up about the whole situation. Probably. Most likely. Eddie hoped.

…..

Buck frowned as he watched Eddie stomp around the station gym, his scent sharp and almost acidic. Buck wrinkled his nose and scratched at it, like that would dislodge the scent that had burned its way into his nose.

Chim caught Buck’s attention and Buck walked over, giving Eddie a wide berth, and raised an eyebrow. “What’s eating him?” Chimney asked and Buck gave him a look. “What?”

“Why would I know what’s bothering Eddie?” Buck asked. Chimney snorted.

“Because the two of you practically live in each other’s pockets, Buckaroo.” Chim glanced over at where Eddie was wailing on a punching bag and both of them flinched in unison at the scent and energy that Eddie was giving off. Buck felt the back of his neck flush and he shifted restlessly on his feet, his skin getting the beginnings of that hot, crawly sensation. He let his gaze linger on the hard lines of Eddie’s body, smoothing over Eddie’s arms and shoulders before dipping down to his exposed chest. Buck swallowed around the spit that suddenly filled his mouth, trying not to be embarrassed at how much he _wanted_.

“I really don’t know,” Buck said after he’d finally pulled his eyes away from the miles of sweaty, golden skin that Eddie had on display. Chim frowned a little before clapping a hand onto Buck’s shoulder.

“Well… go find out,” Chim said and gave Buck a hard shove, making him stumble in Eddie’s direction- effectively turning Eddie’s attention to Buck and ensuring that Buck had to talk to him so that the whole situation didn’t get even more awkward. Buck shot a scowl at Chimney before bridging the rest of the gap between him and Eddie. He leaned against another piece of equipment before pointing at the punching bag.

“What’d that thing ever do to you?” Buck asked, going for a light or joking tone. Eddie just shot Buck a stormy look that had Buck’s stomach dropping- both in the way that made Buck want to leave Eddie alone and the kind that made him want to sink to his knees in front of Eddie despite being out in the open where anyone would see. He felt his cheeks flush a little as the thought crossed his mind.

“Just getting a workout in, Buck,” Eddie said but he stopped wailing on the punching bag to take a drink of water and wipe the sweat from his face.

“Eddie,” Buck said, dropping his voice for a semblance of privacy as he stepped in a little closer into Eddie’s space, before giving him a concerned look. Something about Eddie was off and it was more than just his scent and his sudden need to beat on a bag of sand. Buck could just feel that Eddie was using this as a diversion from something else. “Tell me what’s really going on.” He let his hand brush up against Eddie’s arm and Eddie’s stiff posture relaxed a little.

“It’s nothing big,” Eddie muttered, and his cheeks turned pink as he worked on unwrapping his hands, eyes turned up towards the ceiling. “Just… my rut is coming up and mix it with the drama of Shannon coming back into Christopher’s life-” Eddie bit his lip. Buck nodded and he tried not to wiggle at the thought of Eddie all worked up- pent up emotions boiling over with snapping teeth- and sweaty like he was now.

“Got it,” Buck said, and he hated how his voice squeaked a little at the end. The offer that if Eddie needed anything to just call was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t get it out. It sounded almost… wrong. Besides, it seemed like Eddie was content to suffer in silence. Or… or maybe Eddie and Shannon were working things out together. The thought made Buck want to curl up in the bunkroom and cry. “I’ll let you get back to it then.” Buck gave Eddie a weak smile and backed away from him to head up into the loft to help Bobby out with dinner.

…..

Buck woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and he couldn’t help the whine that was pulled from deep in his chest. He felt like he was in an oven with how all-encompassing the heat on his skin was. The light on Maddie’s bedside table flared to life suddenly and Buck flinched away from the light.

“Buck?” Maddie asked and Buck didn’t want to open up his eyes, the light having been too much. He felt like even the light brush of the thin sheets was more akin to sandpaper against his skin. He whined again and shifted so that he could press his face against his pillow, trying to find some kind of relief and not finding any. He couldn’t even open his mouth to speak with how dry his mouth felt- his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth- and how his throat ached.

He felt a cool hand on his forehead and then another on his neck and Buck couldn’t help but shiver at the contrast. “Oh, Evan,” Maddie’s voice was gentle, and he turned his face into her touch, slowly cracking his eyes open a little. The light was still harsh, but he could make out Maddie’s face, softly lit and full of concern and a dawning understanding. “It’s alright.” She brushed her hair back from his face gently before she pulled one of her hands away to grab for his phone on the nightstand.

Maddie settled on the edge of his air mattress and Buck turned onto his side so he could press his face against her thigh, his head cradled in her lap comfortingly. She kept up combing her fingers through his hair and Buck could hear her talking but none of her words were being absorbed- they just washed over him in the same way her scent did.

She hung up the phone and when she was going to move his head back onto his pillow, Buck felt something wet between his legs and there was a wash of peppermint that filled the room. Maddie’s breathing stuttered, obviously overwhelmed with the smell, but then something settled on her face and she made a soft sound of realization.

“Come on, Buck,” Maddie said and gently slipped her hand underneath his shoulders. “Let’s get you cooled down.” It was a struggle to get Buck up because he was so off-balance, but with a little support from Maddie, they managed to get Buck down to the bathroom. She settled him down on the closed toilet before turning the water on and letting it get to temperature before plugging the drain so the tub would fill. Buck was so out of it, his head fuzzy and muddled, that he didn’t have the presence of mind to be embarrassed when Maddie started stripping him out of his clothes. In all honesty, it was a relief not to have the fabric chafing against his skin.

Maddie settled him into the water and Buck instantly started shivering with how cold it felt. Buck whined and he tried to push himself away from the water, but Maddie put a hand on his shoulder. “I know it feels cold, Buck, but we’ve got to get you cooled down.” Maddie smoothed her thumb over his collarbone soothingly before scratching at his scalp lightly. Buck shivered and just leaned his head into Maddie’s arm as she held him and used her cupped hand to get the back of his neck and his shoulders wet.

After a while of Buck shivering and Maddie slowly dousing him in water, she figured that the heat coming off of him was as low as she was going to able to get it without giving him a chill. They got Buck out of the bath and wrapped into a towel, Maddie settling him on the toilet again. The cool water had helped to clear his head and Buck was shivering as she pulled the plug on the tub. “Am I- am I sick?” Buck asked and his teeth were chattering but he could feel the heat starting to slowly build again, the soft towel turning rough as he tried to pat himself dry.

“I don’t think so, bubba,” Maddie said, bringing back her nickname for Buck from when he was a kid, as she stroked his hair back from his face. “I think that you’re in the middle of a heat.” For a moment Buck wasn’t sure he’d heard her right, his head was still a little wobbly, but when he studied her face he could tell that he’d heard her right.

“Maddie… that- it can’t be. I’m twenty-seven… I can’t- no,” Buck said and as he denied it, suddenly things started to fall into place. The bouts of hypersexuality that Buck had just dismissed as part of his intimacy issues could have been mini-heats that he just hadn’t recognized as such, the way he couldn’t quite look Bobby in the eye when his pseudo-father was disappointed or upset with him, almost every reaction he’d ever had to Eddie ever.

His stomach twisted up.

Eddie.

“Oh,” Buck breathed, and he let his head fall forward. Maddie shifted closer and tilted his chin up to meet her eyes.

“What is it? Are you alright?” Maddie asked and smoothed her hands over his skin.

“Eddie,” Buck whined, and his stomach lurched again, the same wetness from before dampened the back of his towel and the inside of his thighs. Buck tried to explain his suspicions to Maddie- Eddie’s upcoming rut was probably what triggered this heat to be so much worse than the others that Buck had unknowingly gone through alone- but he couldn’t get it out. He shuddered and let his head fall onto her shoulder. She hummed soothingly and brushed a kiss to the side of his head.

“I think I understand,” Maddie soothed, and Buck was sure that she did. “Come on, bubba. Let’s get you back into bed and see if we can get you comfortable.” Maddie didn’t bother trying to get Buck into any clean clothes, just settled the sheet over him once he had laid down. No matter how Buck tossed and turned, something felt off and he couldn’t quite get comfortable.

“I need-” Buck huffed, and he pushed himself up so that the sheet pooled around his waist. “I can’t- like this.” The heat under his skin was starting to spike again and his scent pushed forward but it wasn’t quite right.

“Whatever you need, Evan,” Maddie said quietly and combed her finger through his hair. She shuffled back to her own bed to give Buck room to let him do whatever it was he needed. Buck rolled his shoulders and, though it was clumsy in a way that he hadn’t been since he was an awkward teenager, he shifted. He shook out his fur, feeling a little more settled in his skin but not by much, before settling his head between his paws. “If you need me, you wake me up,” Maddie said sternly before she smoothed her hand between his shoulders, giving his fur a short tug. Buck nipped at her hand carefully and she gave him a soft smile before laying down and drifting off. It took Buck a while to settle with the low-burning heat in his stomach, but after a while he was too exhausted to stay awake.

…..

Buck’s alarm went off and he sluggishly pulled himself from bed despite the heat that was radiating off of him still. He felt sticky from sweat and from what he now realized was slick. It wasn’t as messy as he’d always seen- though his only frame of reference for heats was porn since he’d never had a partner that was going through that despite the fact that he _had_ had omega partners in the past. He stumbled his way through his morning routine with every intention of going to work. His head felt clearer than last night, so he figured the worst of it had passed. He was pulling on his LAFD t-shirt when Maddie came in with a bottle of water in her hand.

“What are you doing?” She asked and frowned at him as he plucked restlessly at his shirt in an attempt to get it to be more comfortable to wear.

“Going to work,” Buck mumbled, still feeling a little cotton mouthed.

“You can’t go into work like this,” Maddie said and put her hand to Buck’s chest. “It’s not safe. For you or anyone else on shift- especially Eddie if he hasn’t called out for his rut.” She tapped her finger against his chest and kept her eyes on him.

“But, I… Maddie,” Buck whined, and he knew he sounded ridiculous and childish, but he wanted to go to work. 99% of him wanted to go because he loved his job, but maybe that last little 1% was because he was hoping to catch Eddie there. It was desperate and maybe a little bit pathetic, but Buck couldn’t help the way heat rushed into his stomach at the thought and renewed the flush in his cheeks.

“Don’t make me have to babysit you. We both know that you’re going to need to do some things that neither of us want both of us to be in this apartment for,” Maddie said, her cheeks blushing a little and Buck shifting uncomfortably at the thought. “Promise me you’ll stay in here with the door locked, Buck.”

Buck fidgeted for a moment longer before nodding. “Alright, fine,” he said, and he pushed a hand through his hair. “But I need to call Bobby and tell him I’m not coming in.”

“Already done. I called him when you woke up last night,” Maddie said and when Buck flinched, she grimaced a little. “I didn’t tell him what I thought it was, but it’s something you’re going to have to make him aware of eventually, Buck. It’s going to affect work.” Buck just hummed and Maddie handed him the bottle of water before going over to pick up her purse. “Well, _I_ still have to go into work, so don’t make too much of a mess while I’m gone and be sure to stay hydrated. Your temperature is going to spike a couple times over the day so I’m sure you’ll be sweating.”

Buck nodded and fiddled with the bottle in his hands as he watched Maddie pull on a pair of shoes and then head towards her front door. He wandered after her into the living room and hugged her goodbye.

“Be safe,” she said and got on her toes to kiss his cheek.

Then she was gone and her apartment was quiet. Buck had no idea what he was going to do in the hours that he would be alone. He knew what he wanted to do, but part of him was mortified at the thought of getting himself off in his sister’s apartment. He knew enough from his high school health class to know that even if he just jerked off- instead of digging a sex toy out of the one box that never got unpacked from his move- his scent was going to flood the apartment and Maddie would know what he’d done. No thank you. He loved his sister and they were getting a lot closer recently, but they weren’t close enough to be comfortable knowing about- much less smelling- the others’ sex life.

Buck glanced over at his cell phone. Maybe… no, he was Buck 2.0, and Buck 2.0 didn’t make booty calls. Buck cracked open the water bottle and chugged a third of it as he tried to get his mind off of sex. His jeans were starting to get tight and maybe just a little damp in the back. And of course, as it always went, the more he tried not to think about sex the more his mind fixated on it.

“Fuck,” he breathed and pressed the heel of his palm against the bridge of his nose. He went over to the box, dug out his bottle of lube and his go-to dildo. He knew that he’d be embarrassed about it later, but right now he just wanted to get it over with and maybe get enough of a reprieve to get a couple hours of sleep.

…..

Eddie had been tense and snappish since he’d woken up that morning, but it only seemed to get worse when he walked into the station to find that Buck had called out sick and wouldn’t be coming in. The animal part of Eddie’s mind disliked the idea of anyone in his pack being away from him right now, and it only served to irritate his protective instincts. He wanted to go to Maddie’s apartment and make sure that Buck was safe, taken care of. As ridiculous as it sounded. Because of course he was, Buck was a grown man who could take care of himself, and Maddie- as a former nurse- would have made sure that Buck was going to be okay.

Eddie scrubbed furiously at the side of the truck- they’d only just gotten back from a call that had left the truck spattered in mud nearly to the top- as he tried to get his temper in check. Johnson had been Buck’s fill-in and while she hadn’t actually done anything wrong on any of the calls they’d been on so far, it felt wrong for her to be there and Buck to be missing.

“Eddie,” Bobby’s voice called, and Eddie turned around, his shoulders still taut as if he were squaring up for a fight. “My office.” Eddie tried not to scowl as he tossed the rag into the bucket of soapy water with more force than was strictly necessary and headed over to follow Bobby. Bobby closed the door carefully behind him before gesturing to the seat across from his desk. “You want to tell me why you haven’t called out?” Bobby asked and there was no accusation in his tone, but Eddie couldn’t help but bristle anyways.

“I’m fine,” Eddie bit out, his voice coming out low and from his chest. Bobby didn’t seem perturbed at all by Eddie’s aggressive behavior. He simply stared Eddie down until the other winced a little and flicked his eyes down to Bobby’s shield.

“I think that after your shift is up, you need to spend the rest of the week at home,” Bobby said firmly. “I can’t have you snapping in the field. I need you at your best and clearest.”

“Cap, I-” Eddie started to protest but Bobby just shook his head.

“No arguments, Eddie.” Bobby’s tone was firm, and Eddie grumbled a little in the back of his throat before sighing heavily.

“Alright,” Eddie mumbled and shuffled his foot on the floor. He felt like a chastened child. Bobby clapped a paternal hand on his shoulder before gently ruffling the short hair behind Eddie’s ear.

“Just try not to bite Johnson’s head off,” Bobby said before cracking a small smile. Eddie huffed an irritable breath but nodded. He’d apologize to her later if he could manage to do so without sounding like Christopher did when Eddie made him apologize for something that he didn’t want to.

He was still on-edge during shift and his protective instincts would kick up every now and then when things with the team got too close for comfort, or when someone mentioned Buck- or even something that made Eddie think of Buck. By the end of shift, he was exhausted and he just wanted to get cleaned up and curl up with Christopher on the couch. But he found himself driving to Maddie’s apartment. He remembered where it was from helping Buck and Chim move her in.

He sat in the parking lot for a long while and he thought about getting out of the truck, but before he could work up the nerve to do it, Maddie’s car drove up. Seeing her made Eddie snap out of whatever fog had muddled his head to think this was a good idea- if Buck was sick he was more than taken care of and if Eddie brought home germs he might get Christopher sick- and he pulled out of the parking lot and headed to his house where Christopher and Carla were waiting for him.

Carla tried not to wrinkle her nose when he walked in the door, but Eddie knew that his scent smelled burnt. Christopher- in the way of all brutally honest small children- had complained when he’d gone to bury his face in Eddie’s neck that morning before Eddie left for work. “Thank you for looking after him,” Eddie said, just like he did every day when he came home, and Carla just gave him a soft smile.

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” Carla teased. “I tried to get him to eat some dinner, but he insisted on waiting for you. Everything’s ready, just needs to be dished out.”

“You’re an angel,” Eddie said and felt some of the tension ease from his shoulders. He walked her out before turning around and heading into the dining room where Christopher was sitting at the table. “Hey, buddy,” Eddie said and bent down to press a kiss to the top of his son’s head. “Let’s get some food into you and then it’s pajama time.”

“Can we call Buck before bed? I miss him,” Christopher said quietly as Eddie moved to get their plates ready. Eddie felt like his throat was sticky as he swallowed.

“Buck is sick, Christopher. I think we should wait until he’s feeling better,” Eddie said and once he had Chris’s plate ready, he settled it in front of his son. Christopher pushed his food around on his plate for a moment before giving in with a nod. Eddie asked Christopher about his day to distract from the lingering hurt that not being able to call Buck had left, and it seemed to work to distract Christopher since he brightened up a little as he talked about the new project he was working on in his art class.

Eddie let Christopher stay up a little longer- once he’d gone through his nightly routine- so that he could color a Get-Well card for Buck. Eddie helped him with folding the paper evenly and which colors would look best for the drawing that was on the front. Christopher drew a picture of Buck in bed with a thermometer in his mouth- it really was just a stuck figure with a bright pink smudge above the eye and it looked almost like a cigar instead of a thermometer- and Christopher with a frowny face. It was cute as Christopher scribbled a little note for Buck on the inside before nodding proudly and cleaning up his markers.

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Christopher asked once Eddie had tucked him into bed.

“Of course he will, buddy,” Eddie said and stroked his fingers through Christopher’s hair soothingly.

“And you’ll make sure he gets it,” Christopher said and narrowed his eyes at Eddie as if he was mistrustful of Eddie’s sincerity. “He’s got to get it or he won’t feel better and then he won’t come over anymore.”

“I promise I’ll make sure he gets it. Even if I have to give it to Maddie to give to him,” Eddie promised before ducking down to press a soft kiss to Christopher’s forehead. “Now get some sleep, alright?”

Christopher nodded, a jaw-cracking yawn coming from his mouth, before he shuffled down further into his little blanket nest. Eddie sat there for a moment longer before he got up and headed across the hall to his own bedroom. His eyes ached and he himself just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was almost thankful that Bobby had taken him off the schedule for the week. He hadn’t realized how much this rut was taking out of him until he’d had a moment to slow down.

He couldn’t help but think about Buck as he stumbled his way through his nightly routine. He assumed that it wasn’t anything serious- probably just a cold or something- but the paranoid part of him mind worried about all the what-ifs. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and laid out on his back in bed as he thumbed open his and Buck’s text messages.

He chewed his lip as he debated whether or not to send a message. Buck was probably asleep by now. Or his phone was off. Well… it wouldn’t hurt to just say something.

**_To: Buck_ **

_Hey man, hope you’re alright. Bobby said you were sick. Christopher made you a Get-Well card and I am duty-bound by the sacred bond of a father-son promise to get it to you so you’ll feel better._

**_From: Buck_ **

_That sounds pretty serious- you better bring it over then_ _😊_

Eddie hadn’t been expecting a response, but he couldn’t help but grin a little.

**_To: Buck_ **

_I’ll text you in the morning and see how you’re feeling. Maybe bring you one of those breakfast burritos that you like? If you’re feeling up to it of course._

**_From: Buck_ **

_That sounds really great, Eds. Thank you <3_

Eddie’s heart stuttered a little at the little yellow heart emoji. It probably didn’t even really mean anything- Buck was constantly putting strings of emojis in his texts that usually took Eddie an embarrassing amount of time to decipher- but it made Eddie feel like a teenager with a crush.

Shit.

Was… did Eddie have feelings for Buck?

…..

Buck didn’t tell Maddie about Eddie coming over. He knew that she was just going to get all over-protective and he didn’t want it. As sappy and pathetic as it sounded, he’d missed Eddie in the few short days that they’d been forced to be apart. He shifted a little nervously, his skin prickling in anticipation, and he nearly jumped out of his own skin when he heard a light knock on the door. He scrambled up from the couch- where he’d practically buried himself in blankets and pillows despite the heat radiating off of him- and checked Maddie’s security system before pulling the door open to smile at Eddie. “Hey,” Buck said, and he didn’t mean to sound so breathy, but it was almost like he’d forgotten how to breath properly. Eddie blinked at him, almost like he hadn’t been expecting Buck to open the door. “Hey, Earth to Eddie,” Buck said and reached out to brush his fingers against the back of Eddie’s hand.

The light contact seemed to snap him out of whatever it was. “Hey,” Eddie said and nodded over Buck’s shoulder. “Can I come in? I brought breakfast.” He held up the bag and Buck’s smile only widened as he stepped back to let Eddie come inside. Eddie brushed past him and Buck couldn’t help the small shudder that wracked his body as he closed the door and reset the security. “How’re you feeling?” Eddie asked and Buck turned to see him eyeing the piles of pillows and blankets that were on the couch and now spilling onto the floor.

“Better,” Buck said and fidgeted a little before going over to gathering up the tangle of stuff and toss it onto the air mattress in Maddie’s room. He closed the door with a decisive snap and leaned back against it sheepishly, but Eddie was just rifling around in the paper bag that he’d brought with him.

“Let’s not forget the most important part,” Eddie said after Buck had walked back over to him, sitting beside Eddie on the couch almost nervously. Eddie pulled a card from his shirt pocket and held it out to Buck with a soft smile that had Buck’s cheeks getting hot and his stomach knotting up. Buck took the card and he looked over Christopher’s familiar drawing style and he couldn’t help but feel something tugging at his chest.

“You’ve got the best kid, you know that?” Buck said and he opened it up to see Christopher’s messy handwriting, smudged a little because of the markers, telling him how much the boy missed him- which made Buck’s chest ache.

“Yeah, I got really lucky,” Eddie said softly and when Buck looked up at him, he sucked in a soft breath at both how close Eddie was, having leaned in a little to look over his son’s handiwork, and how _nice_ he smelled. Buck’s mouth went dry and he couldn’t help but let out the softest whine as longing hit him in the chest like a sack of bricks. Eddie’s gaze wavered down to Buck’s mouth from where he’d lifted his gaze to Buck’s eyes. Buck’s breath locked up in his chest as he saw the same want in Eddie’s eyes that he felt pounding through his own veins.

…..

When Buck first opened the door, his scent had completely overwhelmed Eddie. It was sweet and minty almost like those Girl Scouts cookies that Christopher was obsessed with whenever Girl Scout cookie season rolled around. It had left his brain muddied and his reaction to Buck’s greeting delayed an almost embarrassing amount of time. Buck hadn’t really seemed to mind Eddie’s minor meltdown before he snapped back to their conversation.

Eddie wondered if maybe Buck hadn’t really been feeling up to seeing anyone- the piles of blankets and pillows on the couch certainly making Eddie believe that Buck had been bundled up securely by Maddie before Eddie had arrived- but Buck was quick to assure Eddie that he was feeling better and the flush on his cheeks seemed to be the only indication that Buck wasn’t perfectly fine.

Eddie wasn’t even really sure why he leaned in so close to Buck when the other opened up the card from Christopher, but there was something so impossibly soft and fond in Buck’s expression as he read it over and talked about Christopher- and maybe that just _did_ something to Eddie. If he had to claim one weakness it would definitely be Chris. Buck’s blue eyes seemed to pin Eddie in place and he could hear the other audibly swallow. Eddie’s hearing- heightened by his rut and the sheer intensity of his attention to Buck nearly every time he looked at the other- caught the slight tremor in Buck’s heartbeat and the whine that Buck let out made Eddie’s own heartbeat kick up in his chest. He couldn’t help but drop his eyes down to Buck’s mouth and every part of him was screaming to just lean in that last little bit and kiss Buck. His hand twitched on the couch cushion, but he made himself stay where he was.

The moment seemed to be suspended for what felt like an eternity, neither of them sure of what to do next or what the other was going to do. The moment was broken by Buck slowly- carefully- sliding into Eddie’s space. He was practically in Eddie’s lap, his breath ghosting over Eddie’s cheek warmly, as he leaned in to bump their foreheads together. Eddie’s hand pressed into Buck’s waist to steady him and he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth at the heat that he felt radiating off of Buck, even through the t-shirt and zip-up hoodie he was wearing. That seemed to be all the encouragement that Buck needed because before Eddie could blink Buck was kissing him so thoroughly that Eddie could barely process that it was Buck’s tongue that was tracing the back of his teeth and pulling a surprised moan from his chest.

Buck let out a pleased little sound as he pressed in even closer, actually sliding into Eddie’s lap despite the difference in their height, and Eddie slipped his hand underneath Buck’s hoodie to splay across the small of his back as he kissed back with just as much fervor as Buck was giving him. He felt pleased when Buck all but keened into his mouth and fisted his hands into the material of Eddie’s shirt, tugging at it like he wanted to take it off but wasn’t sure if he was allowed. Eddie broke their kiss only for a moment to pull his shirt off over his head and drop it off the side of the couch. With that barrier gone, Buck’s hands seemed to be everywhere. On Eddie’s neck, his chest, his stomach, his arms. Everywhere that Buck’s hands skimmed over, it felt like he’d been branded- like Buck’s touch was going to be seared into his skin permanently.

Eddie pushed Buck’s hoodie off his shoulders and Buck all but tore off his t-shirt when Eddie was tossing it onto the end table, so when Eddie turned back to look at Buck there was _so much_ skin just laid out in front of him. It seemed ridiculous really that Eddie’s brain had completely whited out- he’d seen Buck shirtless before. Hell, he’d seen Buck all the way down to his skivvies before, but this was different. This wasn’t glances in the locker room, this was Buck’s skin on display for Eddie and _just_ Eddie. Eddie was allowed to do more than look this time. He could trace the long lines of Buck’s torso with his hands, map out the contrasting soft slopes of muscle and hard edges of Buck’s truly immaculate hipbones with his mouth.

And Buck is just preening under the attention that Eddie was giving him. Eddie hadn’t even touched him yet. That thought sent a white-hot bolt of want straight to Eddie’s gut.

Eddie, slowly because if Buck wanted to change his mind Eddie wasn’t going to push it, lifted his hand and traced the curve of Buck’s waist lightly. Buck made a soft, almost frustrated noise in the back of his throat. Like Eddie’s touch wasn’t enough. Not yet. Eddie leaned up to start kissing him again, but it wasn’t just biting, demanding kisses- it was something more determined and with all the finesse that Eddie could muster. The animal part of his mind, which was slowly starting to stifle the more logical part of Eddie’s mind that was trying to get a word in, wanted to make this so good for Buck- to make this the moment where Eddie ruined everyone else for Buck so that Buck would only ever want him. It was stupidly possessive and if Eddie wasn’t in his rut he probably would have been embarrassed by the thought. Buck’s nails bit into the back of Eddie’s neck as Buck tightened his grip on the hair at the nape of Eddie’s neck. The tiny pinprick of pain was what snapped Eddie into action.

Eddie wrapped an arm around Buck’s waist, putting his hand between Buck’s shoulder blades, before tipping Buck back so that he was laying back on the couch and Eddie could shift so that he was kneeling between Buck’s legs. Buck let out a short squeak of surprise but he simply melted against Eddie’s chest and hitched his legs up so they were more comfortably wrapped around Eddie’s hips. Eddie flexed his hips down into the cradle of Buck’s and both of them sucked in sharp breaths as their cocks brushed up against each other, even through Eddie’s jeans and Buck’s sweats.

Eddie broke away from Buck’s mouth so that he could press fervent kisses along Buck’s neck, nipping hard enough for Buck to feel it but not hard enough to leave any marks, before trailing further down Buck’s chest. Buck responded so eagerly to every little touch of Eddie’s hand as he skimmed it over Buck’s ribs and his mouth as he sucked little pink marks that wouldn’t last into Buck’s stomach.

“Eddie, _please_ ,” Buck whined desperately as he hitched his hips up a little.

“I’ve got you,” Eddie soothed as he leaned up to kiss Buck soothingly, swiping his thumb over the Buck’s cheek. Eddie slipped his hand between them so that he could tug down Buck’s sweats and Buck arched his hips up so that he could wiggle out of them completely. They got caught on Buck’s ankle and Buck flailed a little to try and get them off without having to stop kissing Eddie, the little sounds that Eddie was able to draw from him just absolutely obscene. Eddie pulled back with a short huff of laughter so that he could tug them off and drop them down with his own shirt. Buck went to shuck off his underwear as well- not that they offered much protection to his modesty with the tent he was pitching- but Eddie caught his wrists and put them above Buck’s head.

“Eddie,” Buck said and squirmed, but didn’t try to remove his wrists from Eddie’s admittedly loose grip.

“I’m going to take care of you,” Eddie promised and gave Buck a short, nipping kiss before he tapped his finger against Buck’s wrist and pulled his hands away. Buck pulled in an almost ragged breath and flexed his fingers as Eddie started kissing him again and letting his hands smooth over Buck’s overheated skin.

Eddie just wanted to be able to explore for a while, find out what made Buck squirm or gasp or cry out- Buck was so unabashedly _loud_ \- before he got Buck naked and ready for him. He was holding Buck’s hips down- the heat in Buck’s cheeks burning so much hotter with pleasure when Eddie had first done it- and mouthing at the outline of Buck’s cock when Buck’s scent suddenly surged.

The realization hit Eddie in the chest solidly.

Buck was an omega and he was in heat.

A fresh wave of possessiveness curled up in Eddie’s chest and he couldn’t help the low growl that reverberated through his chest. He could feel Buck shudder in response before arching his hips up against Eddie’s grip.

The logical part of Eddie’s mind was all but screaming at him to put his head back on straight for a few minutes and think about what he was about to do, but then Buck’s scent was washing over him as- presumably- Buck’s body produced more slick and filled the air with that same peppermint scent that had become so familiar to Eddie since Buck had breezed into his life. Eddie refocused in on the rampant flush that was traveling all the way to Buck’s navel and the way that Buck was fidgeting with need.

“I’m here,” Eddie soothed again as he pulled away, his hands trailing down to Buck’s legs before he pulled one away to fumble at the button and fly of his jeans so he could get them off and out of the way. It was a blur of trembling hands, shaky breaths, and a mixture of moans, growls, and keens before Eddie and Buck were both naked on Maddie’s couch- Eddie’s t-shirt stuffed haphazardly underneath Buck’s hips to keep from staining the cushions- and Eddie was wetting his finger with Buck’s natural lubricant. Eddie didn’t even know what he was murmuring softly against Buck’s neck as he bit and kissed at the fragile skin over Buck’s rapid pulse, but Buck was trying to rock down onto Eddie’s fingers and trembling like he could hardly stand the sliver of separation between their bodies. Eddie moved to kiss Buck properly as he slowly slipped the first finger into Buck. Buck jerked like he’d been electrocuted and his answering moan rattled against Eddie’s teeth hard enough to make Eddie dizzy.

As much as Eddie just wanted to bury himself in Buck and show Buck just exactly how good he could make him feel, he knew that he needed to ease into this so that he didn’t hurt Buck in their eagerness. Buck’s slick was helping to ease the way, but Eddie knew that until he’d teased Buck a little closer to the edge, it wouldn’t be enough for Eddie to do more than finger him. He kept his movements deliberate and he brushed up against where Buck was the most sensitive as often as Buck could stand it, until tears were leaking out of the corner of his eyes and there was enough slick that it was actually starting to dampen Eddie’s t-shirt underneath Buck.

“Eddie- Eddie, please. I need- you- please,” Buck babbled desperately, his breathing hitching as he tried to get his words out. It made the heat burning under Eddie’s skin nearly unbearable. He pressed soothing kisses against the side of Buck’s face before kissing him so softly.

“Okay, Buck,” Eddie said, and he slowly pulled his fingers out of Buck and rubbed his stomach soothingly, the back of his hand brushing against Buck’s cock unconsciously. He used the slick already on his hand before smoothing more over his cock and lining his and Buck’s hips up. “I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you.” Eddie’s alpha instincts were all over the place at seeing Buck so open and vulnerable and raw. He wanted to show Buck that he could take care of him, that the trust that Buck was giving him was earned, and that Eddie loved him. God, how much he loved Buck. It should have made him nervous- or scared- how deep he was with Buck in such a short amount of time. But Buck had found the smallest crack in Eddie’s armor and just wiggled his way in until he was nestled right next to Eddie’s heart, settled in that little gap under his ribs that had felt so broken and awful for so long. Eddie didn’t kiss Buck as he pushed into him, but that’s just because he wanted to memorize every little detail of Buck’s face when he did. The dark sweep of his lashes, the flush that was deep enough that Buck’s birthmark was almost lost, the bead of sweat that rolled from the curve of his jaw and down his neck, how his breathing hitched hard enough in his chest that it made Eddie’s own chest ache. Buck was just so perfect.

Eddie kissed Buck then and the careful control that he’d been sure to keep hold of this whole time seemed to finally come untethered and Eddie just let his instincts take control. Each roll of his hips, the way he pressed his fingers into any inch of skin he could find purchase on, how he adjusted both his body and Buck’s- it came as naturally to him as breathing and he didn’t have to think about anything other than the pleasure that was etched into every line of their bodies. And the contrast between the sharp movements of his body and the soft way that he and Buck were kissing, Buck’s fingers tangling in his hair almost reverently without tugging, made it hard for Eddie to breathe. This wasn’t just a tumble in the sheets. It felt significant. It was like something that had been off-center had finally slipped into place.

Eddie braced himself on his one forearm so that he could get his other hand down between them so he could jerk Buck off in time to the rhythm that seemed to have them both so close to the edge. Buck bit at Eddie’s jawline to get his attention and made a soft, almost pained, noise as he tipped his face so that he could kiss Eddie. Eddie pressed his thumb against the underside of Buck’s cock- just under the head- and then Buck’s whole body was tensing up as he came. Between the way that Buck clenched around him, and how on edge they’d both been from the moment that Buck had slid into Eddie’s space, Eddie wasn’t far behind him.

Eddie slumped a little and just rested his forehead against Buck as the two of them tried to catch their breath. He ducked his head and pressed soft kisses against Buck’s shoulder, giving himself a minute to come down from both his post-orgasmic high and the revelations of just how much Eddie never wanted to do that with another person again. Buck’s hands were still in his hair, just combing the sweaty strands away from his face and Eddie let his eyes shut so he could just soak it all in.

Eddie shifted and they both hissed in unison at how oversensitive they were. “Sorry,” Eddie apologized quietly and brushed a kiss against the bolt of Buck’s jaw before he gently pulled out of Buck. He wanted to get the two of them cleaned up so that they wouldn’t be all sticky and ruin Maddie’s furniture. “Be right back.” Eddie kissed him softly before walking, on slightly unsteady legs, towards the bathroom so he could grab a washcloth and run it under some warm water.

…..

Both of them knew that they should talk about what had just happened, but neither of them knew how to broach the subject- that much was obvious. So they just laid there together on Maddie’s couch with Buck tucked up underneath Eddie’s chin. Buck smiled softly against Eddie’s shoulder as he let his fingers trail over Eddie’s skin. He’d had his hands all over Eddie while they’d been having sex, but without the edge of urgency, he was appreciating the little details that he’d noticed but not had the presence of mind to really take in. He traced his fingers over the raised patch of skin on Eddie’s shoulder. A similar mark was on either side of his wrist and there was a more aggressive collection of marks on his thigh.

“From Afghanistan,” Eddie said quietly and when Buck started to pull his hand away, Eddie just brushed a kiss against Buck’s forehead. “It’s fine. They don’t hurt anymore. Was a long time ago.” Buck hummed as he smoothed his thumb over the mark again before leaning over to press a kiss to it.

“I know that it’s not exactly our forte,” Buck mumbled as he propped himself up a little so he could look at Eddie, “but I think-”

“We need to talk?” Eddie offered and Buck nodded in agreement. There was a pause where they were both silent and Buck started to open his mouth, but Eddie seemed to have something he needed to get out. “Shannon and I are still bonded, Buck.”

It felt like being doused with cold water. “Oh,” Buck said quietly, and he knew that he sounded as wounded as he felt. He wasn’t sure what he could say to that. Having a kid together was already something that Buck couldn’t compete with, and now to find out that Eddie and Shannon still had the level of intimacy that a bond created? How the hell was Buck ever supposed to compare to that? Being bonded didn’t just mean sharing space and a family, it was sharing an actual tangible part of yourself: part of Eddie’s mind was connected with Shannon’s and vice versa.

Eddie winced a little at Buck’s reaction and he chewed his already swollen lip. “I should have told you… but we’re- it’s not like that. It’s complicated but…”

“I get it, Eddie. You don’t have to explain it to me,” Buck said with an iciness that he could hardly be blamed for. He pulled away from Eddie and he moved to grab his underwear from where they’d been tossed aside. He tugged them on and kept his back to Eddie as he felt tears pricking at his eyes and felt the self-doubt creeping in. He hated how easily he’d let himself be pulled in by everything Eddie. He felt his stomach twist uncomfortably and he nearly doubled over from the pain.

Eddie was up and putting a hand against his back, concern radiating off of him and polluting his smell. “Buck-”

Buck shrugged him off and shook his head. “I’m fine,” Buck said, though his voice was tight. “I think you should go, before Maddie comes back and chases you off.” Buck straightened up, despite the pain that it made shoot down his legs.

“Buck, please…” Eddie trailed off, but Buck just gave him a sharp smile.

“You brought the card and got the added bonus of a casual fuck. It’s no big deal, Eddie,” Buck said acerbically. “It’s _just_ sex.” Eddie flinched away from Buck’s words and Buck felt an ache in his chest at the obvious hurt he’d just inflicted. But he wasn’t going to be Eddie’s dirty little secret, he wasn’t anyone’s second choice. He may have issues, but he hadn’t sunk that low in his self-esteem.

“Alright,” Eddie said, and Buck heard the beginning edges of anger in his tone. Eddie pulled his clothes on sharply- almost aggressively enough that Buck worried he was going to rip something- before shoving his hands in his pockets. “See you at work then.”

“Yeah.” Buck didn’t look at Eddie as the other went to the door and left. Eddie didn’t exactly slam the door, but the sharp snap certainly wasn’t gentle. Buck went over to make sure the security wasn’t going to go off before he let out a broken noise and slumped back against the door. He suddenly hated that he could smell Eddie all over himself and Maddie’s apartment. All it did was make him want to curl up and hide, so that’s what he did. He shuffled his way into the bedroom and bundled himself up in the blankets like he’d been before Eddie showed up. Though instead of buzzing with anticipation and excitement, he just felt hollowed out and sad.

…..

Eddie felt so stupid. He had really fallen into the same routine he’d done with Shannon: fall in love with someone and then hope that that was enough. But it hadn’t been the first time so why the hell would it suddenly work now? Even though he and Shannon were bonded, their bond was holding on by a thread at best. At least he hadn’t had years of time to get attached to Buck before Buck left him in the dust wondering why he wasn’t enough.

Eddie could feel the start of a shift, his bones were creaking and he could feel the way his jaw was straining to accommodate the different shape and amount of teeth, so he pulled off of the highway to head away from the city. He knew it was stupid- he had responsibilities that he should be taking care of, but Carla was with Christopher and she knew what to do if she couldn’t get ahold of him- but he needed to get somewhere where he could breathe.

He parked his truck and despite the way his body was straining to shift, he made sure to lock up his truck and hide his keys so that they wouldn’t get lost or stolen, before stalking away and into the nearest copse of trees. The shift was so quick that between blinks he’d changed and was taking off into the forest around him. He just needed to be away from everything and have time to just stretch out and not be himself until he could figure out what the hell he was going to do.

…..

Maddie had come home and Buck could tell that she’d been just about ready to read him the riot act- because of course she could smell Eddie all over the apartment and what they’d done on her brand new couch- before she realized how much pain Buck was in. He’d started out with something akin to a stomachache or a muscle cramp, but now it was blinding, stabbing pain that wracked his whole frame. Maddie did everything she could to help soothe him and ease him through the remaining days of his heat, but it was still painful no matter what she tried. Buck was just thankful that it was over and that he could throw himself back into his work.

He knew he didn’t look his best when he made his way into the 118 for his first shift back to work. His whole body was sore and when he’d look at himself in the mirror that morning to brush his teeth, he’d been a little pale. At least his excuse of being sick would hold up with the others. He wasn’t ashamed to find out his status wasn’t what he’d thought it was, but he still wasn’t ready for everyone to know yet. He knew there was a bit of a stigma around omegas and he didn’t want to deal with any of it yet.

“Damn, Buckaroo-” Chimney whistled as Buck came out of the locker room. “When Maddie told me you were sick, I thought maybe it was just a cold or something- you look like you’ve been through the ringer.”

“Something like that,” Buck said and gave Chim a weak smile that he knew didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Any coffee left or did you all forget that I work here too?” Buck tried to joke but it fell a little flat. He hoped they’d all chock it up to exhaustion.

“Just put on a fresh pot,” Bobby said and Buck turned to see Bobby standing at the edge of the loft. “It’ll be a minute before it’s ready. We didn’t forget.” Buck couldn’t help but feel some of the tension in his body relax just the slightest amount at Bobby’s easy reassurance. But… he and Bobby were going to have to have a tough conversation. Buck squared his shoulders and made his way up to the loft.

“Hey, Bobby… can we talk for a second?” Buck asked and chewed his lip. “Uh… alone.”

Hen, who had been thumbing through a book at the little island, exchanged an interested glance with Chimney. Bobby nodded and they walked over to Bobby’s office. Bobby closed the door and leaned back against his desk, Buck hovering by the door. “What’s this about, kid?”

“It’s about why I was out,” Buck said quietly as he fiddled with the cuff of his uniform shirt. “I- I wasn’t sick, Bobby.” Buck felt like his mouth was going dry as he kept his gaze firmly fixed on Bobby’s boots. “I- well- I, uh…” Buck hated how his eyes burned.

“Did something happen, Buck? Are you hurt?” Bobby asked and touched his shoulder so he could gently guide him towards a chair.

“I’ve got to change my status on my paperwork,” Buck admitted, still twisting at the button on the cuff of his shirt and avoiding Bobby’s gaze. “I always thought that I was a beta- I never presented any signs of being anything else- but I was wrong. I wasn’t sick… I was-” Buck felt his cheeks getting hot with embarrassment at having to say it out loud. “-I was in heat, Bobby.”

The silence between them was deafening and for a moment Buck worried that Bobby was trying to figure out the best way to tell him that he wasn’t allowed to stay at the 118. “Alright,” Bobby said in the same even tone he usually used when discussing an issue in the field. “We can easily change the paperwork and I can explain to the chief what happened so that you won’t have to go through that circus act.” Buck just nodded and he squirmed in his seat uncomfortably. “Hey,” Bobby said gently and tapped his finger against Buck’s knee. “I know it’s probably a lot to process right now, but it’s not going to change anything about your job, Buck. You’re a part of the pack here and your status doesn’t change that.” Buck lifted his eyes to Bobby’s and he could have cried from relief at Bobby saying that.

They went through Buck’s paperwork and fixed everything that needed to be corrected before Bobby settled the file on his desk so that he would remember to make the call into the chief’s office when he got a chance. “I’m assuming that you’ll want to tell everyone else yourself?” Bobby asked, just to confirm.

“Yeah, I probably should though… uh, I think Eddie already knows,” Buck admitted sheepishly and felt his cheeks getting hot. He and Eddie hadn’t gotten the chance to talk about it, but Buck had a gut feeling that Eddie already knew.

Bobby pinned him with a look and Buck flicked his eyes away from Bobby’s for a moment. “Buck… please tell me you didn’t.” The unspoken part of Bobby’s sentence made Buck feel like a teenager again.

“I’m _sorry_ , Bobby. I can promise you though it’s never going to happen again,” Buck said and the sharp edge of his wounded pride shone out way too transparently for Buck’s liking. Bobby grimaced a little and set a steady hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Is there anything else?” Buck asked, suddenly wanting to get away from Bobby’s knowing- and pitying- look.

“You’re free to start actually doing some work,” Bobby said to help lighten the mood. Buck shot him a short smile before stepping out of Bobby’s office and going about the usual chore rotation. Maybe mindlessly stocking the truck and ambulance would help keep his mind off of the shitshow that was his life right now.

…..

Eddie raggedly stumbled back to his truck. He pulled out a spare pair of jeans from the back that he kept in his truck- thanking God that no one had found his keys and made off with it- and pulled them on before slumping against the side. He was exhausted and dirty from head to toe, but he felt more- ironically- human than he had. He dug around for his phone and found a couple messages from Carla and his abuela. But the surprising thing was the voicemail from Buck’s sister. His finger hovered over it, but he couldn’t bring himself to listen to it so he just shoved his phone in his pocket and pulled on his shirt- the shirt that still smelled strongly of Buck- before swinging himself into the driver’s seat.

The drive home was uneventful and he wished that he could clean himself up before Christopher saw him, but it was unavoidable unless he stopped and showered at a truck station. Which didn’t sound appealing with how drained he felt.

He unlocked the door- expecting that his abuela or even his Aunt Pepa would be on the other side- to see Shannon sitting at the dining room table with Christopher. Both of them lifted their heads to stare at him and Eddie froze in the doorway. Christopher was the first to break the silence.

“Daddy!” He shot out of his chair and Eddie shut the door with his foot before instinctively meeting his son halfway. He lifted Christopher up and Chris buried his face in Eddie’s neck despite the dirt that was streaked over his skin. “You’ve got a scratch,” Christopher pointed out when he was finished scenting Eddie. His small hand traced a line over his jaw that Eddie hadn’t realized was stinging him until his son had brought it to his attention.

“So I do,” Eddie said and put Christopher down, but knelt so that they were still level. “Are you all packed up for school?” Eddie asked, noticing the time.

“It’s Saturday, Daddy,” Christopher giggled as if Eddie had made a joke. Eddie blinked and he squinted over at the calendar. Someone had kept up crossing off the days while Eddie was gone. Shit. He’d been gone way longer than he’d thought, but time and perception were funny when he was shifted.

“I was just testing you, Einstein,” Eddie said and tickled at Christopher’s sides. “Why don’t you go on and get dressed and then we can sit and have a chat. You can tell me all about whatever I missed.” Eddie pressed a kiss to Christopher’s temple and Chris nodded before heading to his bedroom.

“Where have you been, Eddie?” Shannon asked. Eddie could feel the minor spike of annoyance, but mostly she just seemed worried about him. Eddie was thankful that she didn’t mention that he was covered in someone else’s scent.

“It’s a long story,” Eddie said and slumped against the counter. “How long have you been here?” Eddie asked and there was no accusation in his tone.

“Josephine called me this morning.” Shannon crossed her arms defensively, but it wasn’t the same as when she crossed her arms to ward him off- this was more a self-soothing type of gesture. “She and your abuela were worried about you being gone for so long. They thought I might know where you were- I didn’t- but then I offered to come over and watch Chris for a while so they could do some of the things they needed to get done.” Shannon gave him a look that was half-nervous and half-challenging. Eddie just nodded and swiped a hand over his face. “What’s going on, Eddie? This isn’t like you.”

“I needed to blow off some steam for a few hours,” Eddie admitted quietly, not wanting any little ears to potentially overhear. “I thought it was a few hours… I’m sorry. I should have just come home and been a father instead of acting like a complete-”

“Whoa,” Shannon said and put her hands on Eddie’s arms. “Eddie, Christopher was well-taken care of and by your own design. It’s okay.” She smoothed her thumbs over his arms and Eddie found himself relaxing at the familiar gesture. “I would be a little annoyed by a repeat performance any time in the next couple of months, but it was a minor slip-up. He’s okay.”

Eddie felt something in his throat get tight- he wanted to argue with her and scream at her that it wasn’t alright for him to run away from his son _again_ just because he was a little confused and sad- and he just ducked his head. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“I know you are,” Shannon said and gave him one of those soft smiles that had become so rare. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll distract him for a bit.” She winked at him and Eddie couldn’t help but smile a little bit.

“I swear I’m just going to shower really quick,” Eddie assured her and caught her hands in his so he could give them a quick squeeze.

“I believe you.” Shannon’s eyes were so bright and pretty when she smiled like that. There wasn’t a trace of any of the bitterness that had been between them for so long. It almost felt like before everything had gone so wrong. Part of him still wanted to recoil from this, but Eddie wrestled that part of himself down. That part of him was just asking for trouble. He dropped her hands before ducking into his room so he could get cleaned up.

…..

Things at work- when Eddie returned- weren’t exactly where they had been before Buck’s first heat. He and Eddie still worked well together, and they were friendly, but there was more of a noticeable attempt at keeping distance between them. It didn’t always work though. The two were unconsciously drawn together sometimes- like magnets- and they found themselves sitting next to each other with their legs brushing or leaning into each other’s shoulders.

Then Buck had started dating.

Buck had met Ali during the earthquake. She’d been stuck in the high-rise that he and Eddie had scaled together the same day as when Buck had met Christopher for the first time. She was quick-witted, smart, and the two of them always had fun together when they went out. On the rare occasion that Ali was in town. Something that Maddie just had to go ahead and poke fun at- drawing parallels to Abby. It had hurt, especially when Maddie had not-so-subtly tried to ask about what had happened with Eddie. Again.

He tried to ignore it- that and all the moments that made Buck feel like a stupid teenager with a crush- but it got under his skin. Just like Eddie had. He found himself grinning at whatever story Eddie was telling even if he didn’t find it all that funny, admiring the way that Eddie’s hair fell across his forehead when it wasn’t slicked back like he usually kept it for work, thinking of things like videoing the shark they’d rescued for Christopher because Eddie didn’t think to and he knew it would make Eddie grin in that way that made his eyes light up and crinkle a little at the corners.

Then his mind had been occupied by one thing and one thing only: finding Maddie. Doug had taken her and stabbed Chimney and maybe- just maybe- he’d gone a little off the rails in his desperation to try and keep his promise to protect his sister. Stealing Chimney’s phone certainly hadn’t been his finest moment but he knew the detective didn’t really believe him about Doug and it was the only way to find the answers that they needed.

When he unlocked Chimney’s phone and heard Athena’s voice, he wilted both because he could _feel_ the disappointment and irritation radiating off the alpha, but also because he knew that this was going to set back his search for his sister. Athena had cuffed him and given him the most embarrassing dressing-down that he’d ever had in his life from someone that wasn’t his parents- and to top it all of Bobby was just behind her with his Disapproving Dad Face fixed firmly in place.

Buck had been looking at his shoes, metaphorically licking his wounds, when he felt a familiar presence settle down at his side. “So…” Eddie’s voice drawled as he bumped their shoulders together. “That was a bold move.”

“Yeah, yeah- I know,” Buck mumbled and blinked to try and keep his face and voice neutral, but failing, “ _What were you thinking, Buck?_ I already got an earful from Athena.” Buck slumped a little and tried not to think on how much the combined disapproval from Bobby and Athena had stung.

“Oh no, I know what you were thinking- I got sisters too,” Eddie said and leaned into Buck’s side. “Still not sure how you thought you were getting away with it though.” Buck didn’t need to look over to see the slight edge of disapproval in Eddie’s eyes as well despite the small smile he caught in his periphery.

“I wasn’t worried about that,” Buck admitted and Eddie just hummed before shaking his head. “The police have all these rules, you know? Rules that are going to get Maddie killed. But I’m a civilian- those rules don’t apply to me, right?”

Eddie gave him a bit of a side-eye before glancing around the room. “Then why are you in hospital jail?” Eddie asked wryly.

Buck let out a sigh and slumped a little. When Eddie said it like that, of course it sounded stupid and childish. But he just… didn’t understand. “I told Maddie- I said that she didn’t need keep on running. That she could start over here. That she would be _safe_ … that I would keep her safe.” Buck shook his head and leaned back against the wall angrily. He’d promised her that she didn’t need to be afraid of Doug anymore- that he couldn’t get to her because he would always be between her and anyone that wanted to hurt her. And the one time that he could have proven to her that that was true, he hadn’t even been there.

“This isn’t your fault,” Eddie said softly and leaned in to catch Buck’s eye but Buck just kept his eyes forward instead of glancing over. “What if she _had_ kept running? You think he wouldn’t have found her? Only then, she’d be alone,” Eddie pointed out and tentatively reached out to brush a finger over the back of Buck’s hand softly.

“She’s alone now. With _him_ ,” Buck spat as he finally looked over at Eddie. Eddie grimaced in sympathy and kept his hand against Buck’s, but when Athena came over, Eddie withdrew completely and Buck had to suppress a whine at the loss of contact- of comfort. But he was quickly distracted by Athena telling him that they were the ones that were going to go after Maddie and Doug.

…..

Eddie had heard about what Buck had done with Chimney’s phone from Bobby, and he couldn’t help but go to check in on Buck. Everyone was worried about Chimney- as they should be, he’d been really seriously injured- but no one was thinking about what Buck must be going through with his only sister being gone, abducted by the man that had been abusing her for years.

They’d talked and Eddie couldn’t help but lean into Buck to try and give the type of physical comfort that he knew that Buck needed at that moment. He didn’t know what possessed him to stroke his finger over the back of Buck’s hand, but part of him really just wanted to hold onto him and assure him that everything was going to be okay. But Athena’s voice snapped him back to reality and everything that came with that. Buck was dating Ali now and Eddie was trying to make things work with Shannon.

Eddie and Shannon had talked that night that he’d come back from prowling the Angeles National Forest because he’d screwed everything up with Buck. She’d been more like when they’d met up at Christopher’s school after her interview rather than the iciness that had been between them after Eddie had rebuffed her kiss. They’d reminisced and when Shannon had kissed him again, Eddie hadn’t pulled away. Maybe he just hadn’t tried hard enough with Shannon and if Buck was already finished with him- which it seemed like he was with how angry he’d been when he’d thrown Eddie out of Maddie’s apartment- than what was the harm in trying to fix the family that he already had?

So he and Shannon were together. Completely and with everything that entailed. And he was… okay with that. Or he would be once he adjusted.

…..

Buck loved it when the school brought kids in for demonstrations. Bobby usually headed them up with one or two others to help keep some extra eyes on the kids while in the station and extra hands for some of the things that he couldn’t quite do all on his own. He and Eddie were helping out with Harry’s class- Bobby having a great time getting to do something for his soon to be stepson- and Buck was sure that Eddie was being reminded of Christopher since Harry and Chris were so close in age. Buck glanced up from where he’d been explaining the system of controls in the fire engine to see Eddie squatted down and listening intently to something a little girl with pigtails was asking him. He listened and answered with the same patience that he always used with Christopher and Buck felt himself melt a little.

“Hey, Buck,” Harry said and Buck grabbed ahold of the bar so that he could lean out of the truck to look at Harry.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Buck asked.

“Do you think we could hear the sirens?” Harry asked and gave Buck a pleading grin that Buck was all too familiar with. It usually meant that it was something that he’d already been told ‘no’ to and was trying to ask someone else to slide around the first ‘no’.

“Did you ask Bobby- I mean, Captain Nash?” Buck asked, fumbling a little over the title that practically no one in the station used.

Harry gave him a sheepish look that had Buck rolling his eyes dramatically. “You’re really trying to get me fired, huh?” Buck asked fondly before shaking his head. “How about I show you some of the tools that we keep on the truck instead?” Harry and the little group of kids around him instantly switched gears and started asking him to open up the compartments of the truck. Buck hopped down and moved to pop them open and show off the various tool- making sure no little fingers got too close to the saws- and explaining how they worked.

Once the class had been rounded up and ushered out by their teachers to head back to the school, Bobby walked over to where Buck was re-securing everything back onto the truck. “You’re really good at that,” Bobby pointed out casually. “Maybe one day you can take over these presentations so that I don’t have to.”

“Oh yeah, because you hate it so much,” Buck said and lightly smacked at Bobby’s shoulder.

“Maybe for once I just want to be the cool guy showing off the saws,” Bobby shot back and ruffled Buck’s hair playfully. Buck batted his hands away as Bobby laughed.

Unfortunately, the day started out brightly but ended up quickly turning sour. First, they’d had issues with the CAD system- making dispatch 80% less effective than normal and making some of their calls a lot closer than they would have liked them to be. Then, there had been the awkward standoff between Michael and Bobby over something that Harry did. All of them liked Michael, but seeing Michael in Bobby’s face and growling about how Bobby wasn’t really anything to May and Harry- it had been hard not to just step in and surround Bobby like their instincts were screaming for them to do. Besides, Bobby would have been embarrassed by them lashing out at Michael like that. To top it all off there was the raging fire in Doheny Park.

They had a kid trapped in an upstairs room with the entire house engulfed and no water source to tap into. Bobby ordered Buck to get the truck up to the roof so that maybe they could just bust the nearby window and pull the kid- Alex- out. Buck was almost there, reaching out and reassuring Alex that he was coming for him, when he heard the sound of metal straining. He glanced down and right as he did, there was another groan of metal and then the extension portion of the ladder was giving out under him.

He had a split second to grab ahold of the end of the ladder. Buck braced himself and just let his body move with the natural momentum before he looked down and saw that it wasn’t as far as he’d originally worried- he could drop to the ground without hurting himself. So he did. Bobby was there in an instant, his hand on Buck’s back assessingly. “You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good. C’mon,” Buck turned and he was just about ready to head back to the truck to go ahead and walk out onto the ladder and jump the rest of the way, but then he spotted Eddie, climbing up the side of the house. “Eddie… Eddie, what are you doing?!” Buck called and lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the smoke as Eddie pulled himself up onto the roof. “You know,” Buck said and gave Bobby a side-eye, “if I did that, you’d fire me.” Bobby just sent him an unimpressed look back.

There was a crackle over the radio, and then Eddie’s voice telling him that he had Alex and they were prepping for evac, but then there was a collapse and Eddie was contradicting his statement- saying that it was a negative on evac and that they were pinned. Buck’s heart jumped and he felt a tug in his gut as he made his way towards the truck.

“I’m going to take an extinguisher! I can make that jump, I can help Eddie!” Buck said and started to pull himself up onto the ladder of the truck, but a noise vibrated through the air and broke Buck’s train of thought. He, Bobby, and Hen all turned to see what it was and even through the smoke, Buck smelt the spike of surprise and concern in Bobby’s scent as they finally identified the noise. It was an airplane.

It was a mad scramble to get everyone underneath the trucks so that when the plane dropped water- because that’s what it was carrying- down onto the fires it wouldn’t hurt anyone. Buck curled up underneath the truck, but the whole time all he could hear was his heart thudding in his ears and all he could think about was that Eddie was in that house. As soon as he could, he was up and out from under the truck and making his way toward the door of the house.

Eddie was backlit by the sun as he stumbled his way out of the house with the boy securely in his arms. Eddie laid him out on the backboard and after a moment, Alex was coughing and Hen was helping to check him over. Buck pressed himself into Eddie’s side and wrapped an arm around him before he could second-guess it. “What’s with the Spider-Man routine?” Trying to keep his tone light despite the fear induced adrenaline that was still pumping through his veins.

“I don’t know,” Eddie groaned as he slumped down into Buck’s side a little. “I just did it. And prayed… a lot.” Buck reached up and he wiped at the soot that was staining Eddie’s face. It only served to smear it around, but Eddie didn’t seem to mind as he tipped his face into the touch.

“Well, it looks like someone was listening,” Bobby said and reached out to put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and give him a firm shake. Bobby glanced between the two of them and Buck felt his cheeks getting hot, but he just ignored Bobby’s knowing look. They peeled themselves away from each other and finished up the rest of the job before they got back into the truck to head back to the station. Buck couldn’t help but hover a little at Eddie’s side- that same tugging feeling in his gut- but Eddie didn’t push him away or seemed agitated by Buck all but burying himself into Eddie’s side.

“I’m fine, Buck,” Eddie assured him once they’d gotten cleaned up at the station and were alone upstairs on the couches. “Really.”

“You had a metric shit-ton of water dumped on you after crawling up the side of the burning building,” Buck muttered and set his chin on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Just another day on the funny-farm,” Eddie said and Buck wrinkled his nose at the unfamiliar expression. “It’s a Southern thing, Pennsylvania-boy,” Eddie teased and poked at Buck’s side.

“You’re probably going to have bruises,” Buck said quietly. He didn’t like the idea of Eddie’s perfectly golden skin blotched with purple and blue. At least… not in that way.

“Probably,” Eddie sighed and he nudged Buck’s head with his own. “Another hazard of the job. I promise you, Buck… I’m okay.” Eddie’s hazel eyes were intent on him and Buck breathed in to say something, but Eddie’s phone starting ringing and the moment was broken. Eddie looked at the screen. “Shannon,” Eddie said in explanation before he thumbed the screen to accept the call. Buck just watched him step away to talk to her.

“This kicked-puppy routine is starting to become your default, Buckaroo,” Hen said as she settled down next to him. “How’s Ali?” Buck grimaced. It wasn’t meant to be a pointed jab on Hen’s part, but it sort of felt like one.

“She’s good, in… Ontario for the weekend,” Buck said, having to really think about it before he could pin down where she’d said she was going. It was all starting to get really jumbled in his head. “But she says that she’s going to help me start apartment hunting when she gets back. Guess she’s sick of having me over at her place and I’m not ready to have her and Maddie in the same room.”

Hen just hummed and Buck tried not to squirm. Hen had easily stepped into the position of older sister when Buck had gotten to the 118 and he’d been grateful for it, but now he just felt uncomfortable that he seemed to be an open book to Hen. “Just be careful, Buck,” she said softly and reached out to give his hand a gentle squeeze. “That big heart of yours breaks easily.”

Buck gave her a winning smile. “Me? Heartbroken? Never.” He gave her a wink before getting up and stretching his arms over his head. “You hungry? I think I’m going to grab a snack.” And if he was running away from Hen, no one needed to know.

…..

Eddie and Shannon had taken Christopher to the beach and honestly, watching Christopher having a good time building sandcastles, he was really content with his life. There was a small corner of his brain that nagged that something was missing- that _something_ he had felt when he was with Buck- but he tried to ignore it as much as possible. Because he had Shannon and they were working towards building their relationship back to where it once was. They were bantering back and forth, Shannon poking at him a little for his tendency to brood. “Well, hopefully, he gets your brains,” Eddie said genuinely because Shannon was really smart. She always had been. “He can’t get by just on _my_ good looks.” Eddie grinned as Shannon laughed and shook her head.

“Oh nice. Good one,” she muttered before laughing and tucking her hair back behind her ear.

“He loves having you around,” Eddie said as they went back to watching Christopher piling more sand into his bucket so he could add onto the already crumbling castle.

“Does he?”

“We both do,” Eddie said and he wasn’t lying. While things still felt difficult and they weren’t perfect- he’d missed having Shannon around. She had a completely different approach to just about everything and while it caused them to butt heads occasionally, Eddie was sure that once they hit their stride, they’d balance each other out. He leaned up and kissed her softly, her hair tickling his face and neck as it drifted in the breeze.

She pulled back and gave him a look. “Eddie…” she sighed. “ _What_ are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, squinting against the sunlight.

“I need to know what you want.” And there it was. The million dollar question.

Eddie just shrugged- aiming for casual- and gestured around them. “I want this. I want to have a nice day on the beach with my son and his mother.”

She nodded and she seemed almost disappointed. “Okay, so… is that what I am to you?” Eddie looked over to see her pinning him with her eyes and he fumbled for a second. “Christopher’s mother?” She clarified.

Eddie let out a groan and slumped a little. It felt like she was backing him into a corner and he didn’t like it. He’d thought that for once they were getting to be on the same page.

“Because, hey, if that’s what it is, it’s fine.” But it wasn’t. Eddie could tell that it wasn’t. Him and Shannon had that in common: it was all or nothing. “I just… I need to know.”

“Shannon,” Eddie started, already sounding defeated and maybe just a little pleading, as he scratched at his forehead. “I don’t know. I mean… these last months have been good. Really good. And I don’t know, I guess I’m just waiting for a sign.” He sighed heavily and turned back to look at Christopher. “Something to know which way to step.”

They were both looking at Christopher and just listening to the normal noises of the beach. Then Shannon broke the silence.

“I think I might be pregnant.”

Eddie felt his heart thudding in his ears and his stomach twisted up with nerves as he looked over at her. She gave him a weak smile and Eddie just swallowed thickly.

…..

No one could say that Buck wasn’t a glutton for punishment. He and Eddie had found their equilibrium again after the initial stiffness and ‘how the hell do I look you in the eyes and act platonic now that I know what you feel like when you orgasm?’ stage. Eddie was on a FaceTime call with Shannon and Christopher and Buck was up on top of the truck doing an equipment check. He could have tuned out the call, but he found himself listening to the softness in Eddie’s voice and he could tell just what kind of smile that Eddie had on his face.

“When’s the wedding?” Buck teased as he hopped down and elbowed Eddie’s shoulder.

“We’re already bonded, dumbass,” Eddie teased and then he froze. “Wait, we don’t have to do all that over again do we?” Eddie asked and he genuinely was looking at Buck- his best friend- for advice. Buck felt a lump forming in his throat and he gave Eddie a strained smile.

“Talk to Bobby. Maybe he can get you guys a discount.” Buck’s joke was weak, but he couldn’t really think of anything else over the feeling of his heart crumbling, just a little bit. Buck didn’t have any sort of claim over Eddie, and he had a girlfriend that he really liked. Ali was great. She was headstrong and brave and smart and fun… but- but she wasn’t Eddie. But Eddie was happy, and Buck should have been happy for him. He was getting what he wanted. His bond mate was coming back into his life and she and Eddie could be a family with Christopher. And it had only been one time.

Once they were off shift, Buck found himself going to Bobby’s. He’d already dropped by to complain about Chimney stepping in since Bobby’s suspension- which sucked major and made Buck want to kick Chim’s ass even more than Buck normally did when the beta was getting on his nerves- but this was different.

Buck knocked and Bobby opened the door almost warily. “Hey, Buck. Come on in,” Bobby said and stepped away from the door so that Buck could come inside. Bobby must have smelled something in Buck’s scent or just read something on his face because he just settled down at the table and nodded for Buck to sit as well. “What’s on your mind?”

“Am I selfish?” Buck asked with no segue into this conversation. Buck just barreled right in. “Because I just keep thinking about Eddie but I know that I shouldn’t because Eddie is bonded to Shannon and Shannon is Christopher’s mother and it seems to be exactly what Eddie wants and I’m happy for him, I really am, because Eddie deserves it but maybe I just wished that Eddie could be happy-”

“With you?” Bobby cut him off with a strained smile. He was used to Buck’s tendency to babble, but even this had been a bit of an onslaught. Buck suddenly felt a pang of guilt. His problems were so insignificant and shallow compared to what Bobby was facing right now. “You care about him, Buck. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I just…” Buck sighed heavily and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t want to make Eddie feel like he has to choose. That would make me _such_ an asshole. I just… I haven’t stopped thinking about him, Bobby. Even before,” Buck blushed and cleared his throat, “what happened.” Buck scrubbed a hand over his face and grimaced.

“Sometimes love hurts, Buck,” Bobby said and he leveled Buck with a sympathetic smile. “And sometimes loving someone means knowing when you have to let go. For both your sakes. It doesn’t make it easy and it doesn’t make it sting any less, but it’s what’s healthy for you. Both of you.” Buck nodded and he tried desperately to swallow around the lump in is throat. “And you know that we’ve always got you. We’re your pack, Buck. That doesn’t change. Ever.”

Buck let out a wet laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, Bobby.”

“Anytime,” Bobby said and sat back in his chair. “Now, tell me more about what’s going on with Chim.” Buck let out an exasperated groan before launching into the day’s horror stories.

…..

Buck felt a little better after having talked to Bobby. It wasn’t going to be easy- nothing ever was in their lives- but at least he felt like he had his footing to take the next steps. They were riding to a traffic call, a car had gone out of control and plowed through a crowd of people, and everything seemed normal.

“Buck and Eddie, check the driver!” Chimney said as he and Hen made their way over to the more serious injuries, John went to start triaging the minor injuries. Eddie and Buck both were working as in-sync as ever, talking to the driver and keeping her as calm as possible. She mentioned a woman and Buck leaned back out of the car to look around and he froze when he saw a familiar figure. He’d only seen her the once in-person, but he’d seen plenty of pictures of Shannon at the Diaz household.

“Eddie,” Buck said as Eddie turned and caught sight of what he was seeing. “Eddie- Eddie wait,” Buck said and he tried to block Eddie’s path. They had a job that they needed to do and as much as Buck could see the pain and the fear in Eddie’s eyes- and smell it in his scent- he knew that going over there was only going to make it worse. But Eddie just brushed past him without a glance. Buck couldn’t do much else other than stare after him helplessly, but then he heard the driver saying something and he was back into work-mode as Hen, Chim, and Eddie got into the ambulance with Shannon.

…..

Eddie had thought that Shannon wanting to dissolve their bond had been a full-body blow, but seeing her on the pavement like that, almost no color in her face, was so much worse than he could have imagined. Hearing Chim tell him that it was unlikely that she was going to make it, was so much harder. Eddie felt like he was being crushed under the weight of the situation and he just wanted to scream about how unfair it all was. She was apologizing and telling him that she hadn’t wanted it to be like this and Eddie didn’t know what else to say other than how much he and Christopher loved her.

Even before the monitor started to screech at her vitals flatlining, Eddie felt the tether of their bond snap and it hurt worse than all of the injuries that he’d ever sustained in Afghanistan combined. He could barely breathe with how much it hurt and despite how Hen and Chim both sprang into action, Eddie knew that there wasn’t going to be anything that they could do. He stumbled vaguely behind her gurney as they wheeled her into the ER, but it just felt like a foregone conclusion. He felt like part of him had been ripped out and now he was suddenly expected to continue functioning. He was off-balance with the magnitude of it and distantly he wondered that if it hurt this badly to sever a bond that was as damaged as theirs was, how the hell did anyone survive it when their bond was healthy?

He went through the motions of signing all the paperwork and getting her things. Everything of hers that had been brought with her fit into such a small bag and it was strange to think about. He cradled it in his hands as he walked out towards the exit. There was so much he had to do now. He needed to start making arrangements. He’d have to talk to Christopher.

 _Christopher_.

Eddie felt tears burning at his eyes at the thought of having to explain to Christopher about all of this. He was sure that Christopher had felt their parental bond severing, but he probably had no idea what was going on. He was probably in so much pain and so scared.

Eddie was sure that he reeked of grief as he stepped out into the lobby of the hospital, everyone he knew that was there- which seemed to be the whole 118- reeled back from him. He could hardly differentiate who was who through the haze that he was in. He just sort of starting walking towards the exit like a zombie, but then there was Bobby and Eddie felt the smallest part of his resolve crumble and he all but fell into the older alpha’s arms. He felt tears streaking down his cheeks as he buried his face into Bobby’s neck, scenting him for some sort of comfort as well as trying to hide away from everyone else. And Bobby just let him and held onto him as tightly as Eddie was holding onto him.

He wasn’t sure when he pulled away or how he managed to get to the station, out of his uniform, and then back into his civilian clothes, but he did it. He drove to his abuela’s house where he knew Christopher was and he braced himself to have to tell Christopher that his mother was never coming home. Only this time it wasn’t distance that was separating them and making it difficult, it was impossible. Seeing Christopher waiting for him on the porch with that huge smile on his face only served to make Eddie hate himself just a little bit more for knowing that he was going to be the reason that that smile was gone.

His words were halting and probably not good enough, but he could tell when it sank in because as predicted, Christopher’s smile faded and his breathing hitched as tears filled his eyes. “Come here, buddy,” Eddie said and he lifted Christopher from his seat on the porch steps and held him against his own chest. Christopher’s face immediately buried itself into Eddie’s neck and Eddie felt stiff and cold as Christopher’s tears burned at his neck and soaked into the collar of his shirt. He ineffectually rubbed at his son’s back to try and soothe him, but there wasn’t much that would be able to fix this. Eddie’s throat felt tight and he buried his face in Christopher’s curls as he kissed the top of his son’s head and tried to hold the both of them together.

…..

Buck fidgeted nervously as he stood outside the familiar door. He took a halting step forward, arm raised to knock on the door, but then he quickly backpedaled so that he was nearly teetering off the edge of the porch. He wasn’t sure if he would be welcome. Not right now anyways. But he’d told Bobby that he would check in and see if Eddie or Christopher needed anything and he wasn’t about to abandon part of his pack. Even if he and Eddie had been weird around each other, the fact that Eddie was part of the 118 family was immovable in Buck’s mind.

He shook his head at himself and walked up to the door but before he could knock the door was opening and both Christopher and Eddie were standing there. “Hey,” Buck said softly and he forced a chipper smile for the two of them. “I was just about to knock.”

“We know,” Eddie said and the tiniest of smiles tugged at the corner of his mouth. “We could see you from the window.” Eddie nodded over to the window that overlooked the porch and Buck felt his cheeks getting hot in embarrassment. But his little bit of shame was worth the small smile on Eddie’s face and the airy laugh that Christopher let out.

“I brought some snacks and a movie if you’re feeling up to it, and Bobby sent me over with more casseroles than I think is good for anyone, but he just wanted to make sure that you guys were set- and I think it’s helping him keep his mind off of the suspension and all the wedding stuff,” Buck waved his hand vaguely.

“What do you think, buddy?” Eddie asked and nudged Christopher’s shoulder with his hip playfully. “Think we should let Buck come in and hang out with us?”

“Please?” Christopher asked and he seemed to perk up at least a little at the idea.

“Come on in,” Eddie said and he stepped out of the doorway so that Buck could come inside and toe his shoes off. Buck glanced around and he saw that things were sort of all over the place, not at all like how Eddie painstakingly tried to keep the house, but then again Eddie didn’t look like he’d been sleeping very well either. There were the starts of dark circles underneath his eyes, his shoulders had an almost defeated slump to them, and his scent was stale. Both of their hurt was palpable in the air and Buck couldn’t help but feel the echoes of it like a sharp ache behind his ears.

Buck set the bag of stuff that he’d brought onto the dining room table before slowly unpacking everything and putting it where it needed to go. He handed the movie- _Ratatouille_ because it was fun and one of the only Disney movie’s that Buck could find that _didn’t_ have dead parents in it, what the fuck was that all about by the way- to Christopher to get it started up while Buck and Eddie got the snacks.

Buck sat down on the other end of the couch from Christopher to give him some space since the boy had pressed himself so firmly into the crease where the arm met the back, but when Eddie sat in the middle, Christopher whined in a way that made Buck’s heart feel like it had cracked open in his chest. Chris scrambled up and moved- trailing the afghan that he was wrapped up in behind him- to push his way between Buck and Eddie. Eddie sent Buck an apologetic grimace. “He’s been clingy,” Eddie said quietly, but Buck just waved him off and wrapped an arm around Christopher easily.

“It’s all good,” Buck said and rubbed Christopher’s shoulder. “It’s better like this anyway. I missed my _actual_ favorite Diaz.” Buck grinned down at Christopher and Christopher let out a tentative laugh before pressing his face against Buck’s upper arm and burrowing into Buck’s side deeper.

The movie was more subdued than most of other nights where Buck was over, but Christopher laughed a few times during the movie and Eddie seemed relieved. Buck just kept his hand on Christopher’s arm and smoothed his thumb over Christopher’s elbow as soothingly as he could.

At one point, Christopher plucked at the front of Buck’s t-shirt restlessly and Buck just ducked his head a little to see what was up. “Buck…?” Christopher asked quietly, a tremor of hesitation in his voice.

“What’s up, buddy?” Buck asked when Christopher just continued to fiddle with Buck’s shirt without actually asking him anything. Finally, Christopher let go of Buck’s shirt and just held out his arms with a small frown on his face. He wanted to be held. Buck had to take a steadying breath. “Come on,” Buck said and lifted Christopher, blanket and all, into his lap. Christopher made a content sound and pressed his nose against the underside of Buck’s jaw like he had when Buck played with him. Buck smoothed his hand over the back of Christopher’s head, untangling some of Christopher’s curls, before just leaving his arms around Christopher as a shield against whatever it was that Christopher felt he needed to be protected from.

Christopher was fast asleep before the movie was even over.

When the movie was over, Buck oh so carefully settled Christopher on the couch so that he could help Eddie clean up the snack mess that was littered over the coffee table. Eddie was listlessly putting the pretzels Buck had brought back into the bag, obviously caught up in his own head, so Buck approached him slowly after putting away the rest of the snacks he’d brought. Buck put a hand between Eddie’s shoulders lightly so that he wouldn’t startle him- though Eddie still jumped a little at the contact- before fixing him with a firm stare. “What can I do, Eddie?”

“You’ve already done a lot, for him,” Eddie said and looked over to where Christopher was tucked in securely on the couch. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s really happy to have you here.”

“Let me help _you_ now,” Buck said and he smoothed a hand over Eddie’s back soothingly. “Just… lay down for a bit. I’ve got this.” Eddie wanted to argue, Buck could see it, but he just gave Eddie a slight pout. “For me? Since you won’t do it for yourself.”

Eddie seemed to break a little at that and he nodded tiredly. “An hour,” Eddie said firmly, but there wasn’t much behind it since Buck could practically see the way he was swaying on his feet.

“Okay, Eddie,” Buck said and he let his hand slide down to the small of Eddie’s back so he could both support and guide Eddie as the other made his way into living room to curl up with Christopher on the couch. Buck was almost 100% sure that Eddie was asleep before he’d even finished laying down. He gently smoothed both their hair away from their eyes and slipped Christopher’s glasses off to put them down on the end table just by his head.

He gathered up the laundry that was all over Christopher’s room and sorted it with the dirty clothes that were piled up in the little closet that housed the washer and dryer set. He was glad that Eddie’s machine wasn’t one of those super old ones that made a bunch of noise and rattled the whole damn house as it did the spin cycle. It was a soft hum that was just loud enough that Buck could hear when it was running and when it had stopped as he worked his way through the rest of Eddie’s house and tidied up the best he could. Some things he didn’t really know where they went so he just organized them into more orderly piles on whatever surface they’d been tossed onto. Though he wasn’t looking at the clock, he knew that they were well past Eddie’s hour limit, but Buck wasn’t going to wake him, not when he finally seemed able to rest.

Buck was tossing another load of Eddie’s uniforms into the dryer when he felt a prickle on the back of his neck that signaled that someone was watching him. He glanced over his shoulder to see a very sleepy and disoriented Eddie watching him. “Is Christopher still asleep?” Buck asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and his voice was rough and grumbly, and Buck felt a shiver go down his spine involuntarily. “Moved him into his room.” There was a long pause as Buck shuffled his feet awkwardly with a basket full of Christopher’s socks in his arms. “You shouldn’t have done that. I could do it.”

“I know you can,” Buck said and gave Eddie a small smile. “I just thought… we’re all here for you, Eddie. You know that right? You don’t- you don’t have to do this all on your own.” Buck knew there were times in his life where that had been all he wanted to hear, so- while it seemed obvious- Buck wanted to reiterate the point and make sure that at least one person vocalized it to Eddie.

Buck wasn’t expecting for Eddie’s breath to hitch in his chest and for tears to well up in the corners of his eyes. Buck dropped the basket of laundry and they met in the middle as Buck reached out to pull Eddie into a tight hug. He held Eddie just as securely as he had Christopher during the movie as Eddie silently shook against his chest.

“Fuck,” Eddie said as he pulled away from Buck’s arms, his voice wet and thick with exhaustion and all the emotions that were pricking at the edges of Buck’s consciousness. “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have- wow, I’m a mess.” Eddie laughed, but there was no humor in it as he almost angrily swiped at his face and sniffed.

“It’s totally fine, Eds. I think you’re allowed,” Buck said and he itched to reach out again for Eddie, but the defensiveness in his posture told Buck not to try it. They still weren’t back to the easiness from before they’d slept together. The thought made Buck feel like someone had jabbed something sharp into his chest and twisted. “I should go… but- uh- if there’s anything else, Eddie, just call. Okay?”

“Thanks, Buck,” Eddie said and they both knew that Eddie was going to be stubborn and avoid asking for help. Buck reached out, wanting to smooth his fingers over Eddie’s cheek, but he settled for a hesitant pat on the shoulder. Buck walked out of the house and refused to glance back over his shoulder. If he did, he’d go right back into the house and embarrass himself.

No, it was better this way. Despite how much it hurt.

…..

Eddie couldn’t help but feel a stab of guilt on top of everything else. He’d seen the news, he knew about everything that everyone at work was having to deal with- without Bobby’s usual calm and level-headed leadership- and part of him wanted to go back to his pack to make sure they were all safe. But he needed a few days to get everything sorted with Shannon’s funeral and to make sure that Christopher was going to be okay. He was doing the best he could as he tried to process everything going on in his own head, but he felt overwhelmed already despite having had two years of experience without Shannon at his side. But this was different- there was no hope of her being able to come back whenever she felt she was ready to. She was just gone. A fact that Eddie’s family, who had all flown in from El Paso despite Eddie assuring them that they didn’t need to- especially since it was no secret that they didn’t like Shannon- seemed hell-bent to point out at any and every given opportunity.

Eddie pressed a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head as he walked past him to put food on the table. Chris had been quieter than normal, but- excepting the night that Buck had come over- he’d been doing alright given the circumstances.

“He is growing up way too fast,” Eddie’s mom sighed as she sent Christopher a small smile. Eddie let out a short laugh as he reflexively looked over his shoulder to check on him. “He was so brave yesterday at the funeral.” Eddie’s mom grimaced a little before offering Eddie a bottle of beer from the cooler at the end of the table.

“Bravest kid I know,” Eddie said as he messed with the bottle cap without twisting it off.

“Just like his father,” Eddie’s mom said and set a hand against his chest before heading over to the table where Eddie had been sitting with his parents, his abuela, and Aunt Pepa. He grimaced a little. He didn’t feel brave. He felt stupid and angry and hurt- but not brave.

“His mom was pretty brave too,” Eddie pointed out as he finally twisted the cap off his beer and tossed it onto the table.

“How?” Eddie’s dad asked. “By running out on him?”

Eddie’s whole body stiffened before he turned on his heel to glare at his father.

“Ramon!” Abuela snapped, her scent broadcasting her disapproval at her son’s comment.

“Papi, we’re _not_ doing this,” Eddie said angrily and stalked over to the table so he could sit down.

His father held his gaze for a long moment before ducking his head a little. “I apologize.” Eddie just nodded a little, though he couldn’t release the tension in his body and unclench his jaw. How did he just _know_ that this was going to start eventually? It hadn’t even been a full day that Shannon had been in the fucking ground and his parents were already starting in on her.

Eddie’s parents exchanged a look that had Eddie bracing for impact as his mom sat down beside him. “Honey,” she said softly and put a hand on Eddie’s arm, “we know Shannon loved Christopher…”

The way she trailed off made Eddie’s stomach lurch a little as he waited for the other shoe to drop. “Of course, Mom.”

“Okay,” she hummed and then nodded, “but she’s gone and you are a single father. _Again_. Okay, and the hours you work, Eddie-” Eddie rolled his eyes, he couldn’t help it, and scowled down at the table. He knew exactly what his mother was going to say before she even opened her mouth to say them. “Come home.”

“To El Paso?” Eddie asked and glanced between both of his parents.

“Texas has fires too,” Eddie’s father said as he picked up his beer bottle. “You could join a department there.”

“Dad, it’s not that _simple_!” Eddie said and he couldn’t help the way he was raising his voice. “I- I’m still a probationary firefighter. I’m _so close_ to earning my shield, and you want me to just throw away the last year of my life?” Eddie glared at both his parents and neither of them seemed to be the least bit sorry at how obviously they were riling Eddie up. They both just has the infuriating expression of ‘we’ll just wait until you see that we’re right and you’re wrong’ that had made Eddie want to leave Texas in the first place. Eddie let out a humorless laugh, his blood pounding in his ears as he realized what was really going on. “Right... is that why you all flew in here huh?” Eddie snapped accusatorily as Adriana sat down by his mother’s side. “ _Not_ for the funeral, but to bring us back. That was the plan?”

“Yes!” Eddie’s mom snapped and Eddie felt a growl being pulled from his chest as she scrambled to explain. “And we could help you and Christopher would be close to family. And you could have a life there.”

Eddie’s hurt projected out into his scent and he could smell the same shock and hurt coming from Pepa and Abuela on his left. “We have a life here!” Eddie snapped. “And family!” Eddie looked over to where Pepa and Abuela were both staring down Eddie’s parents, Pepa with open hostility and Abuela with that sort of immovable steadiness that made you wary of what she was really thinking. And it wasn’t just his abuela and aunt that he was thinking of- though they were both amazing and had done so much for him- but the pack that he’d found in the 118. The image of Buck’s smile as he held Christopher floated through his head briefly.

“Thank you, Eddie,” Pepa said and her scent sharpened as she leaned forward in her seat. “We are sitting _right here_.”

Eddie leaned back in his chair and he looked over to where Christopher was watching them. He suddenly wished he’d had a better handle on his emotions because there was no way that his son hadn’t heard some of what he’d been yelling. “I won’t uproot him again,” Eddie said softly and shook his head.

“Christopher hasn’t been here long enough to put down roots,” Eddie’s father insisted. “He spent the first six years of his life in El Paso. With _us_.” The jab was clearly meant to hurt and Eddie closed his eyes against the tide of emotions that were threatening to choke him- or force a shift that would only serve to further their point that Eddie couldn’t handle this.

Eddie felt Abuela’s gentle, supporting hand on his shoulder. “Being with me,” Eddie said tiredly as he narrowed his eyes at his parents, “is what’s best for Christopher.” He could see the doubt in his mother’s eyes as he turned to look at her. “I chose this life for a reason.”

“You can choose another one.” Eddie’s father’s tone was obviously frustrated with Eddie’s obstinance, but Eddie didn’t care as he turned to give his father a sharp look. He was about to snap back with something that he probably would have regretted and would only serve to make both of them snarl at each other and start a fight, but then Christopher was coming over and pressing himself into Eddie’s side.

“Hey, Superman,” Eddie said and lifted Christopher into his lap. Christopher pressed his face against Eddie’s neck and Eddie just stroked a hand over the back of his son’s head. “You ready for something to eat?” Eddie asked quietly and when Christopher just shrugged, he shrugged back. He could feel Christopher’s tiny smile against his neck and a little of the weight on his shoulders lifted. Christopher- though upset about everything that had happened- was still the same bright, happy kid that he’d always been. He just needed time. Time that Eddie was going to give him without throwing another move in the middle of to scramble his life again.

…..

Buck was touring yet another apartment with Ali since she was firmly in L.A. for the next couple of weeks. It wasn’t that he liked living in Maddie’s apartment, he didn’t really especially since she and Chimney were getting a little more serious in their relationship which was both disgusting and adorable, but he wasn’t sure about living all on his own either. But the apartment was nice and Ali seemed to think that it would be a good fit for him. She listed off all the good qualities of the place- some of which Buck had absolutely no idea what they meant- before she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “We can have you living like a real adult,” she teased and pressed a kiss against his jaw and then his neck. He felt his cheeks get hot because the older realtor was standing _right there_ , but Ali had always been pretty easily open with her affection. It was one of the things he liked about her.

“This would be my first place all on my own,” Buck explained with a slightly sheepish smile.

“Oh… I assumed you’d be living here together.” The realtor’s eyes flicked between the two of them with a mix of both shock and maybe a hint of disapproval.

“Oh… uh- no,” Ali said and it wasn’t meant to be in a mean way, but it still hurt a little.

“No, she’s just my decorator,” Buck said back with a small grin. Ali smacked him in the stomach with the back of her hand and wrinkled her nose at him. “No, we’re just not… quite at that stage yet.”

“We’re at the stage where I’m ready for his man-cave to get a little more natural light. I travel a lot for work and he’s-”

“Better than a hotel,” Buck cut in as Ali leaned into his side and smoothed a hand over his chest.

“Oh yeah, a _lot_ better,” she said and easily pulled him into a kiss that had Buck feeling like he was vibrating all the way down to his toes. He pressed in closer to her, his face nearly buried in her neck and he brushed his lips against her pulse, soaking in her sharp woodsy smell. She said something else to the realtor but he wasn’t really listening. He was almost certain that this place was going to be the one he decided on.

…..

Buck was surprised that Eddie was back to work so soon, but he seemed to be determined and Buck couldn’t help but admire the way he was holding it all together. But that was Eddie. He was sturdy and dependable and even though Buck had seen the smallest of cracks in that façade, he was sure that Eddie was going to come out of this okay.

When they were on the call at the raceway, Buck kept finding himself glancing over at Eddie as the other worked with Hen and Chim to get their patient free. Buck hadn’t known that Eddie knew so much about cars, but with the easy way he spoke and the way that he obviously knew his way around the car when they were taking it apart, but it certainly made something in his stomach flutter a little.

Maybe Buck just had a competency kink.

Then there was the call with the internet influencer. He and Eddie moved her vanity- with her phone that was still live-streaming but Buck didn’t think it was the time to bring that up- back while Chim and Hen checked her out. She mentioned a bug and it was then that Buck’s eyes fell right to where it was.

“Maggot,” Buck said and grinned a little bit as he looked it over. It was disgusting for sure, but Buck was fascinated.

“You been out of the country lately?” Hen asked and the girl started explaining her job as an influencer for beauty products. “Has your circle of influence included Central and South America?” Buck held out his hand for the tweezers that Eddie had dug out from the bag that he had carried in since Eddie didn’t seem keen on grabbing up the little insect. Eddie turned and got a specimen container, a grimace of disgust on his face that made his nose scrunch up cutely.

“No, no,” the girl said as Buck passed the container with the bug inside it off to Eddie and Eddie quickly sealed the container. “I mean I did just get back from Belize.”

Buck blinked for a moment and then turned to look at her with an incredulous expression. Was she joking with them or…?

“Belize _is_ in Central America,” Eddie pointed out with a slight frown.

“Oh… are you sure?” She asked with such genuine confusion that Buck felt bad for her for a moment.

“Pretty sure,” Eddie quipped back before shooting Buck a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ sort of look that had Buck grinning and suppressing a laugh.

Hen launched into an explanation of what she thought it was while Buck picked up the container and looked at it. “Luckily, it looks like you got it out all in one piece.” He looked over at her, figuring she’d be reassured but she just continued to look horrified. They all helped her up and onto the gurney, Hen and Chim starting to take her down to the ambulance, when she starting calling for her phone.

Buck and Eddie both turned to see- as Buck had noticed earlier- that they were the only things in frame on her livestream. They both waved at the camera before Eddie walked over to turn it off. “Bye guys,” he muttered sarcastically as he tapped the screen to get it to turn off. “Later.” It switched off and Eddie rolled his eyes as he grabbed the phone and handed it off to Buck. “I don’t care how much Christopher likes bugs, I’m not telling him that story- and don’t you do it either.” Eddie pointed at Buck for emphasis and Buck just held up his hands.

“I promise not to give Chris nightmares about bugs in his face,” Buck said solemnly.

“Why’d you have to say it like that? Now _I’m_ gonna have nightmares,” Eddie said and shuddered in response, though after a moment he was grinning down at his feet and shaking his head at Buck. It felt like a win to see even the smallest of smiles on Eddie’s face.

…..

They’d been called out and they’d divided up into two trucks: Eddie, Chim, Hen, and Lewis in the lead one with Buck, Johnson, and Davis in the other. Dispatch unexpectedly patched into their headsets saying that Bobby was on the line, Chim asked for a repeat but before anyone could say anything else, the street shook and in a flash of light and a loud thundering noise that made Eddie’s blood go cold at its familiarity, the truck behind theirs exploded and flipped over onto its side.

Eddie’s stomach lurched as he saw the other members of his team thrown out across the pavement, lit up by flames that were flickering around the ladder truck. Eddie scanned the figures, but with the smoke that started rolling across the pavement he couldn’t make out who was who and he hadn’t been paying attention to see which seat Buck had swung himself up into back at the station.

He hadn’t realized that he’d moved to hop out until he felt Hen yanking him back into the truck with more force than Eddie had ever seen her use.” Eddie, wait!” Hen snapped and Eddie’s hackles rose at the commanding edge to her tone, but then he caught sight of someone walking around amidst the smoke. It was a teenager with an alarming amount of explosives strapped to his chest.

“Out of the truck,” Chim ordered and nodded to the side that was facing away from the blast behind them. They all pulled their headsets off and got out onto that side as they heard sirens approaching from what felt like every direction. Eddie didn’t focus on any of it, he stalked to the end of the truck and stood at the corner so that he could still see what was going on. Hen was at his back and he could feel the way her arm was hovering at his back, ready to grab ahold of him again if he tried to approach the truck.

The boy started shouting for the Captain and Eddie looked at Chim whose eyes stayed fixed firmly on the kid. The boy’s shout was cut off as one of their teammates shifted on the pavement and Hen was so busy watching Eddie that she didn’t have time to grab Chimney when Chim stepped out from behind the cover of the truck. “Cap!” Eddie hissed and tried to make a grab for Chim, but Chim just shrugged him off and lifted his hands so the kid could see them.

“I’m the Captain!” Chim shouted so that the kid would be able to hear him. “Okay? I’m the Captain, so please just let me help them. Please.”

“No,” the kid shook his head, scowling at Chimney. “No, I don’t want you. I want Captain Nash.”

Eddie glanced over at Hen and she didn’t seem to understand either. Out of nowhere though, they both heard Bobby’s voice and they turned to look at where Bobby was stepping out of the smoke. “Freddy!” The kid turned and Eddie’s whole body twitched. He didn’t like just standing here not doing anything. He should have been trying to help. His pack was laying in the street, dying, and he still hadn’t been able to figure out where Buck was. Bobby started talking to the kid- Freddy- and when the Freddy said that he’d wanted Bobby dead, Bobby just gestured to the others on the pavement. “What about them? What about him?” Bobby pointed to just by the truck and in that moment the smoke blew away and Eddie could finally see where Buck was. He wished he hadn’t, because Buck was pinned under the truck and even with the distance, Eddie could see the blood that stained Buck’s skin and the pavement around him. “He’s got parents, a sister, a girlfriend- and he never did anything to you. He _wasn’t_ even a _firefighter_ when your father burned down that restaurant.” Some of Bobby’s anger was starting to slip into his voice.

“Collateral damage.”

Eddie lurched forward, ready to rip this kid’s throat out with his teeth, when Hen caught his arm and pulled him back hard. “Eddie, don’t. You’ll only put Buck in more danger if you do.”

“I can’t just do _nothing_ ,” Eddie snarled back and he was sure that his eyes were flashing amber with the way he was barely holding onto the maelstrom of emotions that were in his chest and stomach, twisting his organs so tightly he felt like he could barely breathe. He felt a tug low in his gut that wanted him to just rush over to Buck’s side and protect him. “He’s dying, Hen.”

“Well nothing’s our only option right now,” Hen snapped back. Eddie’s jaw ticked and he turned his eyes back to the where Bobby was rushing forward and grabbing ahold of Freddy. Eddie’s heartbeat was pounding in his ears as he stepped forward out of reflex, but Hen didn’t pull him back, just clenched her hand where she still had a hold on Eddie’s jacket. Freddy was quickly ushered away from the intial blast and both he and Hen jumped into action.

“Still with us, Buck?” Chim asked as Hen and Eddie knelt down on either side of Buck’s shoulders.

“Buck, how we doin’?” Hen asked, her hands shaking just the slightest bit as she unzipped the bag she’d brought over. Eddie reached out and pressed his fingers against Buck’s neck to check his pulse. It wasn’t as strong as Eddie would have liked.

“Kind of numb,” Buck said and his voice was shaking like he was cold, his teeth clattering together just a little. Buck’s scent was hard to distinguish through the metallic haze of all the blood that was around them, but when Eddie could smell it, it was polluted with unmitigated fear. Eddie stroked the side of his face, trying to comfort him but he found that Buck didn’t feel right either.

“Skin is cold and pale,” Eddie reported and fumbled for his stethoscope to try and check Buck’s other vitals. “Hang in there, Buck.” Eddie helped Hen secure the collar around Buck’s neck and he gently passed a hand over Buck’s hair when he heard the other’s whine. “We’re right here. We’re not going anywhere. I promise.”

They tried lifting the truck so that they could pull Buck free, but they just didn’t have the manpower. “Is there anything on the truck we can use for leverage?” Eddie asked, holding onto Buck’s hand tightly as the other struggled to breathe properly from the pain.

Chim was about to radio dispatch again to see if there was any way that they could get there faster, but before he could make the call, the bystanders were weaving around the barriers and coming in to help. Chim and Bobby were barking orders to the bystanders to organize them and then- like the miracle that Eddie didn’t realize they’d all been praying for- the truck was high enough for Eddie and Hen to pull him out.

They were all scrambling to get Buck onto the backboard and then onto the gurney. Eddie felt his focus going laser-intent on Buck as they started to really work. Hen, Chim, and Bobby were all talking to Buck- reassurances and encouragement and Eddie just couldn’t get his mouth to work for a long moment. “Hang on there, buddy,” Eddie said as Buck’s eyes started to flutter shut, the first threads of real panic starting to pump through him. He held onto Buck’s hand as they wheeled him into the ambulance and he shakily pushed his hair from his face before climbing into the back with Chim and Hen.

All three of them were working together to make sure that Buck made it the four minutes that it was going to take to get them to the trauma center. But those four minutes felt like four lifetimes as Buck’s vitals seemed to be mimicking the track of a rollercoaster. Eddie just kept his focus on what he was trained for because the sharp tug in his gut was screaming at him to protect Buck at all costs.

That same protective instinct caused him to snarl and very nearly lash out at the doctor when Buck was wheeled in and they said that Eddie couldn’t come with him. Hen and Chim stood in front of Eddie and put a hand to his chest and on his arm respectively. He couldn’t hear what they were saying to him exactly, but eventually the thudding in his ears receded and he felt his shoulders slump a little.

“We’re not going anywhere, anytime soon,” Hen assured him and pressed her thumb against his collarbone firmly, as if she were trying to keep him grounded. It helped. “Let’s go for a walk, get you some air. Come on.” She hooked her arm around his and he just stumbled along after her until they were sitting outside on a bench outside the building. Eddie tipped his head back and closed his eyes, just trying to find some semblance of calm so that he didn’t bite off the heads of any more nurses or doctors. “You want to talk about what just happened back there, or do you want to keep pretending that you and Buck haven’t been dancing around each other for months?”

Eddie turned his head to shoot Hen a flat look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie lied and Hen rolled her eyes.

“You may be able to fool Chim- and maybe even Bobby though I don’t think so, not after tonight- but you can’t fool me, Eddie,” Hen said and bumped their knees together. “I know you’ve been through a lot recently,” she said and grimaced with sympathy, “but something special doesn’t just fall into your lap every day.”

“I know,” Eddie admitted quietly and he tugged at the cuff of his jacket. “I think I missed our moment, Hen. I… I screwed up a while back and now he’s got Ali and he’s _happy_.”

“Buck’s pretty good at convincing everyone around him that he’s fine when he’s not,” Hen said and gave Eddie a look that said she knew that he knew exactly what she was talking about. “You don’t know what he wants unless you ask him.”

Eddie blew out a breath and shrugged, but he knew Hen could tell he was taking her words to heart. “We should get back inside, see if they’ve got any updates.” Hen just nodded and they walked back into the ER together.

…..

Ali had shown up not long after Maddie did and while Eddie had settled on Maddie’s other side- Chim holding her hand tightly and just letting her lean into him for support- he got up and moved away when Ali approached to talk to Buck’s sister.

It was stupid and petty of him, but he was jealous. Jealous because Ali was an alpha too and for her to be part of Buck’s life- to have a claim on him in a way that Eddie had had a chance to and screwed up- drove Eddie a little crazy. It wasn’t rational, but he couldn’t control it either. So instead of being an ass and making a scene, he simply avoided having to be anywhere near her.

He stepped away to call his Abuela and check in on Christopher- Carla had had the night off and was now at the hospital being red tape’s worst nightmare when it came to getting them updates on Buck’s lengthy surgery- and when he came back it was to Chim, Hen, Bobby, and Athena being the only ones left in the waiting room.

“His surgery just finished up and they’re getting him settled into a recovery room,” Athena told him when she saw the way that Eddie had started looking for the missing people in their little band of watchers. Eddie just nodded tightly and sat down.

Bobby and Athena stood after a while, they needed to get back to May and Harry who had been staying with Michael, and not long after Hen got a call from Karen and left as well. Chim checked his watch and sighed heavily. “You need to head out too?” Eddie asked and rubbed at his eyes tiredly.

“Yeah, I’ve got another shift this afternoon,” Chim said around a yawn. Not one of them had been able to sleep while Buck had been in surgery. Eddie had to come in not long after Chim did so he nodded.

“I’ll let Maddie know where you went,” Eddie said with a tired smile.

“Thanks, man. You should go home and get some sleep too, see your kid.” Chim’s look was a little too knowing for Eddie’s comfort.

“Yeah, I’ll probably head out soon,” Eddie lied and Chim gave him a pat on the shoulder before leaving. Eddie stood and he skirted the nurse’s station as he wandered back to find Buck. Maddie had come out at some point- Eddie didn’t know how long ago because time was getting syrupy he was so tired- and told Eddie the room number they’d set Buck up in. He found it and was about to step into the room, but Ali was sitting in the chair by Buck’s bed, stroking his cheek softly and Buck’s eyes were so intent on her that it was like there wasn’t anybody else in the world- let alone the room because Carla and Maddie were just off to the side. Eddie felt something in his chest crack and he quickly turned around and left the hospital altogether to get cleaned up, get some sleep, and then report back to the station for his shift.

While he was glad to find that Bobby had been reinstated, when everyone talked about things being back to normal, Eddie couldn’t help but mutter a bitter, “Almost.” Because Buck was a big part of their pack- their family- and he wasn’t back yet. And no one really knew when he would be. _If_ he would be.

…..

Buck let out a soft grunt as Ali swung open his door so he could step inside his apartment. He was still adjusting to being on crutches. “Easy, okay? I don’t want you to fall and break the other one.”

“I am just glad to be out of the hospital,” Buck grumbled. While he was relieved that he would eventually be able to walk- though he had all sorts of new pieces that made him feel like a reject X-Men character- he couldn’t stand that hospital. How disturbingly clean it was, how everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around him- and not just the hospital staff but his pack when they came to visit him. The only one who didn’t seem to be nervous around him was Christopher the one time that Eddie had been able to bring him by. Christopher had just grinned and told Buck that he would help him learn how to use his crutches and decorate his cast if that was okay. Buck had given him an enthusiastic yes, despite feeling absolutely terrible and irritable before they’d shown up.

“Yeah?” Ali asked with a slightly amused lilt to her voice, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“I miss my own bed,” Buck said and when he caught sight of it in the loft he frowned. “Which I won’t see for the next three months.” He felt some of that irritability creeping back in as he glared at the stairs. “Guess I am sleeping down here.” Buck started making his way over to the couch. While he was approved to be up and on crutches, he still got tired so easily and he needed to sit down.

“You’re like a perpetual roommate,” Ali said and Buck knew she was teasing but the joke fell a little flat. “Even in your own place.”

“Lesson learned: never sign a lease if you intend on being crushed by municipal equipment.” Buck couldn’t help the small grunt as he slid his crutches out from underneath his arms so he could try and settle himself down on the couch.

“Or,” Ali said as she stepped in to help him, “Better idea: how about not get crushed by municipal equipment?” She leaned into his space after he’d gotten himself seated and his leg propped up on the coffee table.

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” Buck asked and Ali cracked a small smile at him before kissing him. She broke away and when Buck ducked in to kiss her again, she gently fisted the back of his hoodie and tugged him away.

“So…” she trailed off awkwardly as she stroked her thumb at the nape of his neck. “Have you- have you thought about what’s next? Once you take this thing off.” She was smiling as she glanced down at Buck’s cast, but there was something off in her scent.

“Why? Did the doctor say something to you?” Buck asked. He’d worried that his doctors weren’t telling him everything but rather giving the full picture to Ali and Maddie instead. He didn’t know if it had to do with the severity of his injury or because of his status.

“No,” she said and let her hands drop from Buck.

“I- um- I- I don’t know,” Buck said and leaned back away from her as he felt his emotions welling up. He’d been trying to keep a lid on everything to show everyone that he could handle this, but it was getting harder with Ali’s vagueness playing into his worse fears: that he’d never be able to work again. “Um, I guess a lot of physical therapy and, uh…”

“You’ll probably want to just get right back out there.”

“Yeah,” Buck said and frowned a little. “Of course. I mean- what else?”

“Um-” Ali bit her lip and Buck couldn’t help the surge of frustration at the way she was treating him.

“What? Come on! What’s going on?!” Buck demanded and he felt tears starting to burn at the corners of his eyes.

“I watched you almost die,” Ali said softly and her expression was pinched.

“Yeah, but I didn’t.”

“But you could have,” Ali insisted, like Buck wasn’t understanding what she was saying- like he didn’t understand what had happened to him.

“But _I didn’t_!” Buck said and he could hear his heart thudding in his chest with how upset he was getting.

“I know,” Ali said in a way that should have soothed him but it just served to set his teeth on edge. “I know, thank God.” She took a breath and Buck felt like his conversation was spiraling to a place that he didn’t want it to go. “Look, it’s not like I didn’t know you were in a dangerous line of work,” she said as she stood and walked away. Buck twisted, despite the pain that shot down his leg, so that he could look at her, “when I met you- ten stories up on a collapsing high-rise-”

“Exactly,” Buck said and scowled a little as she came over with a blanket to tuck around him.

“That was one day- _one day_ \- of my life, Evan,” she said and leveled him with a look that spoke volumes about what was about to come next. “It’s every day for you. I’m just starting to really understand what that _means_.”

“So- so you want me to quit my job, that’s what you’re asking me to do?” Buck felt a jolt of panic overwhelm his chest and Ali immediately dropped to kneel beside him.

“No, I would never- I would never ask you to do that. Listen,” she said and took his hand in hers. “I know it’s who you are… I’m just not sure-”

“If it’s who you are,” Buck finished flatly. He hated that a tear slipped down his cheek at the hurt and anger that were mixing dangerously in his chest.

“Hey,” she said and cradled his face so gently that it only made Buck want to cry harder or to slap her hand away. “I don’t know yet. Okay?” She asked as she stroked her thumb over his cheek.

“I don’t know either,” Buck said and he didn’t pull away from the soft, soothing gesture as she stroked the back of her hand over his face before smoothing his hair back gently. Ali gave him another soft, apologetic smile, before leaning in to kiss him. It tasted like goodbye, and so Buck just let it happen before pulling away and settling further into the couch. He was thankful that Bobby was slated to come and check in on him after his shift, which was going to be over in a handful of minutes, so that Ali didn’t have to feel guilty leaving him alone when the awkwardness was just too much for the both of them. She didn’t kiss him again before she left and Buck knew that his relationship was over despite everything she’d said to the contrary.

Buck was still brooding over this fact when he heard a knock on his apartment door. He wedged his crutches underneath his arms and after a few false starts- nearly falling to the floor again- he managed to get himself upright. He opened the door and plastered on a grin for Bobby when the other stepped inside.

“I brought leftovers from the station,” Bobby said and held up the bag in his hands. Ali had been nice enough to get him some groceries but most of it was stuff that he’d have to cook and he wasn’t quite confident in his skills on crutches to attempt it yet. He felt a wave of relief.

“Thanks, Bobby,” Buck said and made his unsteady way over to the island. Since the chairs were higher up it was a little easier to sit down, though he couldn’t stay that way for long before his leg started aching.

“I’ve got some good news for you,” Bobby said as he moved to start putting the Tupperware of leftovers into Buck’s fridge.

“Oh yeah?” Buck asked, aiming for interested and landed squarely on disbelieving and flat. Bobby sent him a look and Buck forced himself to smile a little wider.

“Eddie’s finally earned his shield. We’re gonna have his ceremony in a couple weeks down at the station.” Buck genuinely felt a spark of happiness at that. Eddie was a good firefighter and he’d been working really hard over the past year. He deserved it.

“That’s great, Bobby. Tell him I think that’s awesome.” Buck’s smile faltered a little. He was sure that with how overprotective Bobby could be, his captain was never going to let him go with his leg busted up the way that it was.

“You’re not coming?” Bobby asked with a confused frown. “I’d have thought-”

Buck quickly jumped in to correct his mistake. “Of course I’m coming, I just meant in the meantime since I’m going to be laid up for a bit.” Buck let out an almost nervous laugh at almost screwing himself over for getting out of his apartment to see his pack, but Bobby just nodded.

“I’ll pass it along, though I’m sure he’ll come to visit you between now and then. He’s been texting Maddie and I nearly every couple of hours to check up on you.” Bobby said it nonchalantly, as if it didn’t matter much, but he pointedly glanced at Buck to see his reaction as he said it. Buck felt his cheeks getting hot and there was a sharp tug in his gut.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Bobby said softly and moved to sit down next to Buck. “Station’s not the same without you, kid, so rest up and when you’re cleared- your spot will be waiting for you if you’re up to it.”

Buck had to swallow down the lump in his throat before he could speak. “Thank you, Bobby. Really. I can’t- it means a lot.”

“Of course, Buck,” Bobby said and pat Buck on the shoulder softly. “Now, let’s get some food in you because I know for a fact you probably didn’t eat before you left the hospital.” Bobby gave him a stern look and Buck just grimaced a little at being caught out so easily.

…..

Buck couldn’t help but moodily frown at Maddie as his sister took a pair of kitchen scissors to his uniform pants. He had his t-shirt on and his uniform shirt on- thought it was still unbuttoned- in an attempt to be presentable for Eddie’s shield ceremony. He wasn’t showing up looking like he’d just rolled out of bed in a hoodie and gym shorts- like he didn’t care about all the hard work that Eddie had been doing. No, he’d insisted that Maddie help him get into his complete uniform. The only problem, his pant leg wouldn’t fit over his cast.

Maddie picked up the fabric and pulled, ripping his pant leg away from the rest of his pants. “Hey, hey, whoa- come on!” Buck protested and waved his hand angrily. “Be careful.”

“Oh, were you going to sew these two pieces back together? I don’t think so.” She finished ripping the leg off and smoothed the pants out.

“Doesn’t mean you have to rip them,” Buck said quietly, hurt coming out in his tone and polluting his scent. She held up the pants and they both eyed the frayed edge that was left. “Uh-huh, looks terrible,” Buck said irritably.

“It’s going to be fine. Okay? We’re just going to tuck it into the top of your cast.” She smoothed out the fabric with a bit more respect and that helped to soothe Buck a little bit. “I don’t even know why I’m taking you. You shouldn’t be on your feet, you need to be healing.”

“Well, this is more important,” Buck said and shifted restlessly. “If I break anything else they can just fix that too, with the other stuff.” Buck rubbed at his leg from where it was aching him already.

“Wait, what other stuff?” Maddie asked with a frown.

“They… want me to have another surgery,” Buck said and picked at the fabric of his boxer-briefs. “Doctor wasn’t happy with what he saw in the x-rays so he wants to go back in and… replace the rod and do some bone grafts.” He tried to sound casual but it was serious and he knew it. And with Maddie having been a nurse, she knew it too.

“Well, do they think it’s a delayed union, or nonunion?” Buck fumbled and she plowed on. “I mean if it’s just healing slower than expected you could just wait a few weeks.”

“I’m not waiting,” Buck said quickly. “The sooner I have the surgery the sooner I can go back to work.” Because that was what mattered to him. He needed to be back with his pack. It was where he belonged and where he finally mattered.

“So the doctor _does_ want you to wait,” Maddie said and leveled him with a maternal look that had Buck feeling a flash of guilt. “You should listen to him, okay? We’re talking about your health.” The soft note in her voice only served to rile him up. He pinched the bridge of his nose, despite the sting that putting pressure near the cut above his eye caused. “Your ability to _walk_. We’re talking about the _rest_ of your _life_.”

“Being a firefighter _is_ my life!” Buck shouted. He was tired of everyone trying to divert him from that. Ali had known it was who he was and still was holding onto hope that he would change his mind and do something else. Carla had tried to get him to brace for the worst even though this surgery could improve his chances- or hurt them depending on how it went- and could bring him back to his pack faster. Now Maddie. “It is- it is the only thing that I have ever done that is important and- and that mattered! Okay? Without that, I-I-I don’t _have-_ ” Buck’s voice broke and Maddie came over to kneel down beside him.

“You will still be Buck.” Maddie’s voice was almost pleading with him to accept that as she set her hands on the top of his foot. “Okay? And we will all love you. There are lots of other important things that you can do with your life.”

“No,” Buck said dully and felt a tear roll down his cheek. “No, I’ve already made my choice.”

Maddie seemed to be heartbroken at that, but she didn’t try to fight with him anymore. She simply helped him into the rest of his uniform and made sure that his tie, shield, and nametag were all on straight. He brushed off his shirt, even though he knew there was nothing on it, and made sure that you couldn’t see any of the frayed edges of where Maddie had cut his pants.

Everyone was in their best uniforms and Buck couldn’t help but beam as he took Eddie in. Eddie glanced over at him and for a moment Buck thought he was about to come over, but then Bobby snagged him and pulled him aside to talk for a moment and Maddie was ushering Buck over to a table to get him to sit down.

Eddie’s family was there- not just Christopher, Abuela, and Pepa, but his parents and sisters as well- as well as the normal 118 team, Carla, and Maddie. Eddie couldn’t stop smiling as he talked with the small gathering, but then Bobby was nodding and Eddie was walking up in front of everyone, his ears a little red when everyone’s attention focused in on him. Bobby started his speech and Buck couldn’t take his eyes off of Eddie the whole time. His happiness and his pride was palpable and Buck couldn’t help but echo it back. It hadn’t been that long ago he’d been in Eddie’s shoes and he remembered how great it had felt.

“Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department, _Firefighter_ Diaz.” Bobby held out his hand and Eddie shook it with a smile that lit up the whole engine bay. Everyone clapped, a few of Eddie’s family members whooping in pride, as Abuela helped Christopher up so that Chris could bring Eddie’s helmet over to him.

“What do you have for me, _mijo_?” Eddie asked as he crouched to be on Christopher’s level.

“I got your helmet,” Christopher said quietly and Eddie’s smile softened.

“Yeah, my helmet,” Eddie said and wrapped his arms around Christopher so that he could squeeze his son tightly before lifting him up.

“Congratulations, Dad,” Christopher said and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.

“Thank you so much, Christopher,” Eddie said and Buck felt his chest get tight at seeing how happy Eddie was. After that, everyone was eating and Eddie was making sure to talk to everyone who came. Buck got up, much to Maddie’s displeasure, to go over and talk to Eddie. The two of them flubbed a little when they tried to hug, resulting in Eddie doing this weird shuffling-arm waving thing before they managed to figure it out without Buck falling over. “I’m really glad you’re here, Buck.” Eddie’s voice was just a tad bit muffled by Buck’s shoulder, but Buck didn’t mind at all because they were pressed chest to chest and it felt really nice just to hold onto him and be held. “I-uh-” Eddie glanced around before fixing his eyes on Buck’s. “I wanted to talk to you later if you- if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed easily despite the way he was already starting to hurt. Eddie was more important, just like he’d said to Maddie. “Go enjoy your party though,” Buck said and gave Eddie’s shoulder a light shove. Eddie’s eyes flicked across Buck’s face, settling for a moment at his mouth, before he finally took a step back and nodded.

Buck ended up sitting down for pretty much the rest of the time, Maddie and Chim both helping him out by getting him another drink, and everyone else coming over to him to talk. Buck was talking with Karen and Carla, when Christopher came over and pressed himself into Buck’s side. “Hey, buddy,” Buck said and bumped his forehead against the top of Christopher’s head. “You having fun?”

“Yeah,” Chris said and tipped his face up so that he could look at Buck properly. “Dad let me take a picture in his helmet and everything.”

“I saw,” Buck said and rubbed Christopher’s back. “Pretty exciting stuff.” Christopher just hummed his agreement.

“Can I sit with you? Dad is busy,” Christopher said and looked over to where Eddie was talking with his parents quietly. Eddie didn’t seem upset but his smile had dimmed just a little.

“Of course,” Buck said and he lifted Christopher into his lap despite the way that Maddie whipped around from her conversation with Hen to glare at him. He made sure that Chris was sitting on his uninjured thigh and that Christopher’s legs wouldn’t knock into his cast. Christopher seemed perfectly content to just lean back against Buck’s chest and to fold the napkins into little dogs like Hen had showed him a little while ago when they were still eating their cake. Buck picked up his conversation with Carla and Karen- Karen being the only one to give him a slightly surprised look at having a lapful of child that didn’t belong to him- until Eddie came over and knelt down with a stern look for Christopher.

“Christopher, we talked about this. Buck is still healing from a really bad injury, you can’t be crawling all over him,” Eddie said quietly so that only Christopher and Buck could hear him.

“I picked him up, Eds,” Buck said to help smooth the situation over. Not that Eddie had ever been hard on Christopher before, but he didn’t want to make it so because of something that Buck did. “And he’s been really careful. Right, buddy?”

Christopher nodded and despite everything, Eddie lifted Christopher off of Buck’s lap carefully. “We had a deal,” Eddie said and pressed a kiss to Christopher’s temple. “Why don’t you go and have Hen show you how to make some more of those animals.” That seemed to pacify Christopher and he made his way over, Eddie and Buck both watching him go. “I’m really sorry, Buck-”

Buck just waved his hand. “I told you it was fine, Eddie. I picked him up and I’m not even hurting.” Eddie gave him a clearly disbelieving look. “That badly,” Buck amended and shrugged. Eddie frowned a little and he shifted closer.

“Not that I’m not glad that you’re here, Buck, but if you’re hurting that badly… this isn’t that important, okay? You being alright is- I mean, it’s more important- obviously.” Eddie’s hand settled on Buck’s uninjured knee and despite the way he was fumbling a little with his words and his ears were turning red, Buck felt something in his chest melt a little.

“I wouldn’t have missed it, Eds. You only earn your shield once you know. A few aches and pains are worth it.” Buck gave him a soft smile and he felt his own cheeks heat up as he remembered that Carla and Karen were sitting across the table from them. Both of them were watching him and Eddie with amusement and Buck gave them an embarrassed smile. Eddie glanced over and his ears turned even redder as he realized they’d had an audience.

“Well, I think it’s time for another drink, what about you?” Carla asked pointedly and Karen glanced between them for a little while, just to watch them squirm probably, before nodding and standing up as well.

Buck looked back at Eddie and chewed his lip. He knew they weren’t really alone, but he knew that Maddie was probably going to take him straight home and tuck him in on his couch immediately so this seemed like the best time to have that talk that Eddie wanted. “So, what did you want to talk about, Eddie?” Buck asked, keeping his voice down.

“If you’re feeling up to it, why don’t we take this somewhere… private.” Eddie glanced over at the nearby locker room and Buck nodded. Eddie had to help him get to his feet before he could settle his crutches, but after a second they were both making their way over there. Buck leaned back against the wall instead of sitting down because if he needed to make an embarrassed retreat, he didn’t want to nearly fall onto his face first. “I, uh, I’m not good at this so just- bear with me.” Eddie scratched a hand through his hair and winced a little. Buck nodded and Eddie took a deep breath before he spoke. “I was an idiot before. I don’t know what I was thinking when I said what I said about Shannon- because I know I didn’t want to push you away, that wasn’t why I said it. Maybe I was just trying to get everything out in the air between us- and I get that you were mad because I never really mentioned it and that’s because I was embarrassed I guess and maybe just didn’t want to deal with the judgement- but I just made things awkward and tense and I’m… I’m sorry, Buck.”

Buck blinked at him for a moment and just tried to absorb everything that Eddie was saying to him. “Okay… but Eddie you don’t have to apologize. You were keeping your family together and while I was hurt that you didn’t tell me before we…” Buck cleared his throat awkwardly and shook his head, “ _before_ \- I’m not mad. Shannon was your bond mate and that’s special.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say, Buck,” Eddie said and he looked down at his boots. “I was being selfish- a coward- by running back to what I knew, even though it didn’t really make anyone happy in the long run, instead of trying something that I think would have been really great.” Eddie scuffed his shoe on the floor and lifted his eyes to Buck’s. “I’m not sure that I’m ready yet, but Buck… I want-” There was a knock on the glass and both of them turned to see Maddie with a raised eyebrow. Buck could have strangled his sister. When Buck turned back to Eddie, he seemed a little more closed off than just a moment before. “You should go see what’s up.”

“Eddie…” Buck said and he felt a whine pulled from his chest.

“It can wait,” Eddie said quietly. Buck glanced over his shoulder at where Maddie was looking between the two of them with a slight furrow between her brows. Buck sighed and he made his way out of the locker room with a scowl etched into his face.

“What?” Buck asked a little snappishly.

“It’s time for your medicine,” Maddie said but she was still looking over Buck’s shoulder at Eddie. “What was going on in there?”

“Nothing,” Buck said bitterly. “Nothing at all.” He took his pill bottle from Maddie’s fingers and made his way back over to his table and sat down to take his medicine. When he glanced over at the locker room, Eddie was gone. Buck didn’t even argue when a few minutes later Maddie came over to wrangle him back to the car and his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Months of revision surgeries, recovering, PT, and training all came together in him absolutely crushing his recertification test- only for it to be taken away by a couple of blood clots that had him embarrassing himself by spewing blood all over himself and Bobby and Athena’s patio. He knew that Maddie was upset with him, thinking that he ignored all the signs when he’d really thought he just had a leg cramp, but what had really hurt was Bobby telling him that after everything- all the work and the pain and the frustration- the department wasn’t going to let him come back.

The same anger that had made him so insufferable to be around during his recovery- and he knew that he’d been unpleasant no matter how much everyone else tried to assure him that he wasn’t that bad- sprang back up and made him snap in Bobby’s face despite the calm way that Bobby was trying to break all of this to him. “I quit,” Buck spat in Bobby’s face- his whole body thrumming with anger and hurt that was souring his scent to the point where Bobby was flinching- before he stepped away and headed back to his room.

He wanted to scream about how it wasn’t fair. He’d been injured on the job and now the job was just going to abandon him and leave him to try and scramble to pick up the tiny shreds of his life. Without the LAFD, Buck didn’t have anything. That thought pressed down on him and made it hard for him to find motivation to do anything. There just… didn’t seem to be a point to any of it. His life- the life where he was doing something that was good and worth it and had helped him to build his own pack- was over. So he holed up in his apartment and he decided to stop answering anyone’s calls because they’d already left him behind so why did it matter?

…..

Eddie decided he’d had enough of Buck dodging his calls and it was time for some tough love. He figured that Christopher always had a way of making people feel better, so he’d try and see if Christopher could work his magic for Buck. He packed up some stuff for Christopher and used his spare key to Buck’s apartment- which Buck had given him when he was helping out with Buck’s PT- to get inside. He glanced around and when he got on his toes to glance up into the loft he saw that Buck was still in bed, asleep. “Go sit down, buddy. I’ll be right back.” Eddie patted Christopher’s shoulder and watched his son go over and get settled on the couch before he climbed the stairs.

He thought about what he was going to do and then decided no, a gentle touch really wasn’t going to do it because Maddie had already tried. Eddie grabbed a fistful of Buck’s comforter and yanked it off of him. “Get up!”

Buck groaned and turned to squint at Eddie in the morning light that was streaming in through his windows. “Why, man? Come on.” Buck muttered as he tugged the covers back over himself. Eddie felt his slight irritation rachet up a little.

“Because it’s morning,” Eddie said around a sigh before crossing over to the other side of Buck’s bed and yanking the covers off again. “And you have things to do.”

“No, I really don’t,” Buck said darkly as he reached down to try and get his comforter back up over his head.

“You need to get out of this house, and take a walk around the block,” Eddie said and finally grabbed the covers from Buck’s hands and tossed them off the bed completely, “and get some fresh air.”

Buck shuffled to the edge of his bed, glaring up at Eddie defiantly with those bright blue eyes and the first signs of scruff on his face. “Why? What’s the point?” And even if it _was_ just to get away from Eddie, Buck was getting out of bed and heading down the stairs- so it was a win.

“Well, the point is your life isn’t over just because you’re not a firefighter,” Eddie said and stood at the top of the steps.

“Says the firefighter,” Buck muttered and Eddie could tell just by the set of his shoulders that he was scowling.

“You know that blood clot could have almost killed you, but didn’t,” Eddie pointed out as he started down the stairs. Buck was poking around at the mess that was on his table and he tossed the empty Chinese takeout carton onto the table. Eddie wrinkled his nose but decided that cleaning up his place was an argument for another day. “You have your whole life ahead of you, so why don’t you just take it as a win?” Eddie watched as Buck fiddled with the coffeemaker only to realize that the can of coffee grounds was empty, but he stayed facing away from Eddie anyway. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

Buck just let out a huff of breath, his annoyance clear in his body language and his scent, before pushing past Eddie most likely with the intentions of flopping down on the couch. He froze in place as he realized that his place was already taken.

“Hey, Buck!” Christopher called brightly and smiled at him.

Immediately Buck’s posture and his tone softened. “Hey, buddy,” Buck said and rubbed his hands on his pants awkwardly. “Uh… what are you doing here?”

Eddie walked over to where Christopher was sitting so he could give his son a hug. “He’s hanging out with his Buck today,” Eddie sing-songed as he gave his son a tight squeeze. “’cause I have to go to work today.” Eddie gave Buck a small smile as a furrow formed between his brows.

“I… where’s Carla?” Buck asked and shifted on his feet.

“She went to Morongo,” Christopher recited dutifully with a grin.

Eddie hummed. “So,” he said and turned to face Buck completely, “take him out, have some fun, maybe you’ll learn something.” Eddie moved over to stand next to Buck, his chest nearly brushing Buck’s shoulder. “He never feels sorry for himself,” Eddie pointed out to Buck quietly. “Love you, buddy,” Eddie said and turned to look at Christopher.

“Love you,” Christopher responded, though Eddie could tell that Chris was excited to be able to hang out with Buck. “Love you, Dad!” Eddie gave him a short nod before leaving Christopher in Buck’s capable hands, and vice versa.

…..

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. That’s all that was cycling through Buck’s head as he trudged through debris and water, searching and shouting and nearly crying from the stress. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to take Christopher to the pier for a fun day at the park. There wasn’t supposed to be anything that would separate Buck from the boy.

One second, they’d been having a conversation about what Christopher wanted to do when he grew up, with Christopher patting Buck’s face and telling him that he was going to be okay with the certainty that only an eight year old could give, the next the water was receding dangerously and Buck was scrambling to try and get Christopher off the pier before the wave hit.

He’d tried to shield Christopher- first from the wave, then when they were on top of the truck from the dead bodies that were floating along every so often- but he’d gotten distracted. He was helping other people when he should have been making sure that Christopher was safe. A split second had been all that it took for Buck to have no idea what had happened to Eddie’s son.

Adrenaline and the fear of having to face Eddie empty-handed kept him going for hours and hours, just trudging through the debris and shouting until his voice started to give out. He followed every lead that he could find until he’d exhausted that possibility of where Christopher could be. He barely felt the throbbing in his leg and the searing pain in his arm and face had dulled to something more like an unpleasant scratch. By the time he reached the field hospital, he felt like he’d stumbled through half of L.A. he was so tired, but he couldn’t give up. Not until he found Christopher.

He was still wearing Chris’s glasses around his neck like most people would wear a cross, like Eddie wore his St. Christopher medal that the thought nobody knew about, but Buck had seen the way he tucked it away safely in his locker and made sure he was wearing it the moment he got off shift.

He called Maddie because he didn’t know what else to do. He’d lost Christopher and he couldn’t think of anyone else that could help him figure out what to do than his big sister. His heart hammered impossibly harder against his ribs when he caught sight of Eddie amongst the crowd at the field hospital. Of all the places in the world, why did Eddie have to be here, right now?

“Evan, you have to tell him,” Maddie said firmly and Buck shook his head.

“How? How do you tell the guy you lo-your best friend that you lost his son.” His head was spinning and throbbing and he’d almost let slip more than he wanted to.

“No, no, no!” Maddie said firmly. “He’s his _father_ , okay. You have to tell him that Christopher’s missing.”

“No, Maddie, I need to keep on looking for him. I need to find him.” Buck couldn’t face Eddie, not without Christopher with him. He just couldn’t watch Eddie hate him like that. It would break him. He would find Christopher and then he’d tell Eddie what happened.

“Buck, you are in no condition to go looking for Christopher by yourself,” Maddie pleaded with him but she sounded far away. “I’m coming down there.” Before Buck could even protest the line went dead and he wanted to swear a blue streak at his sister. But he didn’t get a chance to do anything because he heard a familiar voice.

“Buck?”

Buck turned to see Eddie not far from him and Buck curled in on himself. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?” Eddie’s eyes were soft with worry as they scanned over Buck’s injuries, but that wasn’t what mattered right now.

“Eddie-”

“Wait, where’s Christopher?” Eddie asked and that worry sharpened a little into a flicker of panic. Buck swayed a little on his feet as the weight of what he had to tell Eddie came crashing down on his shoulders. “Why do you have his glasses?” Eddie asked quietly, tentatively like he’d already started to subconsciously put the pieces together.

Buck didn’t quite hear the rambling pieces of him trying to tell Eddie what had happened because he was too focused on the expression in Eddie’s hazel eyes. He could see the beginnings of tears and Buck let out a sharp whine as he swore that he tried to do everything he could to protect Christopher.

He sucked in a shaky breath as Eddie ducked his head and his scent already started turning burnt and bitter through the layers of grime and water that had been muddling Eddie’s scent. When Eddie lifted his head, Buck lost his train of thought but Eddie wasn’t listening anymore. He was looking at something over Buck’s shoulder.

“Christopher?” Eddie asked quietly as he walked around Buck. “Christopher!”

“Dad!” Buck turned at the familiar sound of Chris’s voice and he saw the way that Eddie nearly collapsed in front of the woman who was cradling Christopher in her arms. Eddie lifted him up and he peppered Christopher’s head and face with kisses as he clung onto him.

“You’re Buck?” She asked and tilted her head a little.

“No, I’m his father- Eddie,” Eddie said as Christopher pulled away from where he’d had his face pressed against Eddie’s collar.

“He was looking for Buck,” she responded with a shrug. Christopher turned his head and Buck felt his legs go weak underneath him. He knew that without his glasses Christopher probably couldn’t recognize him, but to see Christopher’s sweet face, still with that smile of his, made him feel like he could finally breathe properly.

His ears were ringing and he vaguely recognized Bobby, Hen, and Chim were talking to him. He finally collapsed and he closed his eyes as the combined scent of his pack overwhelmed him. He knew that if they were there with him, he was safe. And Christopher was with Eddie and he was okay. He figured he must have lost more blood than he realized because he suddenly felt cold and like he couldn’t stay awake.

…..

Eddie had taken Christopher home after getting him checked out at the hospital- and then having Hen and Chim do it again because he could see feel the cold terror coursing through his blood- and despite the day that he’d had, Christopher didn’t seem ready to get to bed.

They’d done everything that Eddie could think of to try and get him tired, but he just didn’t budge. And Eddie wasn’t sure he was ready to tuck Christopher away in his own bedroom, so he carried Christopher into his own bedroom and they sat together on Eddie’s bed.

“Buck was really brave today,” Christopher said as he traced his fingers over Eddie’s tattoo since Eddie’s arm was settled around him snuggly. “He saved me. And he saved lots of other people too.”

Eddie just listened as Christopher launched into the story of how Buck had kept Christopher from drowning by getting him to safety on the firetruck before he helped about a dozen other people get out of the water or out from where they were trapped in their cars. It sounded just like Buck- to jump in with no regard for his own safety because other people needed him.

“He was brave, buddy. Buck’s- Buck’s always so brave.” Eddie voice was a little rough because he could feel all the emotions crashing into him. He’d nearly lost his son today and that thought alone terrified him, but he’d almost lost Buck too.

“I want to be just like you and Buck when I grow up,” Christopher said around a yawn, finally snuggling down onto Eddie’s side and drifting off. He wasn’t deeply asleep, but it was a start. Eddie gently shifted Christopher so he’d be more comfortable. He stroked a hand over Christopher’s hair and his back and just let it sink in that nothing- aside for some scrapes and bruises- had happened to his baby boy.

…..

Buck hadn’t been expecting anyone. He was just sitting at his dining room table and thinking about everything that had happened yesterday, what he could remember of it because between the blood loss and the adrenaline some parts of it were fuzzy, when there was a knock at the door. He wasn’t sure who to expect, but it certainly wasn’t Christopher and Eddie.

“Hey, Buck,” Christopher said and threw his arms around Buck’s waist as soon as he was close enough.

“Good morning, Buck,” Eddie said with a smile on his face and a new backpack in his hand.

“H-hey, buddy,” Buck said and smoothed a hand over Christopher’s curls as he tried to process what was happening.

“Okay,” Eddie said and stepped inside so he could settle Christopher’s backpack onto the table. “There’s a morning snack, a midday snack, two coloring books, and a bunch of LEGOs,” Eddie said from where he was peering into the backpack. “Between us,” Eddie said before he’d finished looking into Chris’s bag or seen that Christopher was still standing right beside Buck, “he’s never built anything that kind of looks like anything…” Eddie trailed off as he noticed Christopher shuffling towards the living room with a slightly offended expression. “He just likes sticking things together. Just right there, buddy,” Eddie said and pointed at the couch for Christopher to sit down. “There’s… twenty bucks,” Eddie said and made a show of where he was putting it into Christopher’s bag so that Buck wouldn’t forget, “for a pizza. And if I were you, I’d eat a couple extra slices. You look like you’re wasting away to nothin’.” The slight drawl at the end of Eddie’s sentence wasn’t enough to distract from the building wave of ‘too much’ that was crashing into Buck.

“Eddie,” Buck started but Eddie didn’t let him finish.

“I will say, honestly, you being laid up is working out for me.” Eddie was grinning but instead of putting Buck at ease, it was setting him more on edge. “I mean- you’re no Abuela and you’re half of Carla, but you’ll do in a pinch.”

“You want _me_ to watch Christopher?” Buck asked in disbelief.

“It’s easy, he’s not very fast,” Eddie said teasingly but Buck just shook his head as he stalked closer.

“After everything that happened?” Buck questioned and when Eddie turned to him it was with a firm look that pinned Buck to where he was.

“A natural disaster happened, Buck,” Eddie said softly.

“I lost him, Eddie,” Buck said and he couldn’t understand why Eddie would even consider leaving Christopher with Buck after everything. Eddie should hate him. Eddie shouldn’t even be comfortable with Buck seeing Christopher let alone being left alone to take care of him.

“No, you saved him,” Eddie corrected emphatically. “That’s how he remembers it.” Both of them turned to look at where Christopher was sitting in the living room and watching TV. “Now it’s his turn to do the same for you.”

Eddie’s open trust in him just made Buck wanted to shove him away further. “I was supposed to look out for him.”

“And what? You think you failed?” Eddie asked and Buck flinched away as Eddie seemed to easily look right through him and get to the heart of it. “I failed that kid more times than I care to count. And I’m his _father_. But I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too.”

Buck reeled from the way that Eddie put him nearly on-level with his own love for Eddie’s son. And yeah, Buck loved Christopher. It was easy to. He just didn’t realize how transparent he’d been about how much he adored both of them.

“Buck,” Eddie said and put a hand on Buck’s shoulder, his eyes intent on Buck’s own and making him feel small. But not in a bad way, in a way that made him feel like he wasn’t spiraling so far out that no one could help him, he felt like he could still be held onto if he needed it and he needed it. “There is nobody in this world that I trust with my son more than you.” Eddie stroked his thumb over Buck’s collarbone and Buck felt the tug in his gut that he only associated with Eddie now.

Eddie pulled away to say goodbye to Christopher while Buck was still reeling from how much trust Eddie was putting into his hands. He felt a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he turned to see Eddie setting Christopher down from what looked to have been a tight hug. “Maybe try going to the zoo this time,” Eddie quipped playfully as he turned to walk out the door. “Something inland.”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh a little as Eddie swept out of his apartment in the same way he’d swept in.

“Oh, and uh-” Buck turned to see Eddie standing in the doorway with a soft but nervous expression. “Thank you. For not giving up.” There was a moment between them and Buck couldn’t help but crack a small smile before Eddie closed the door and left him and Christopher to their day together.

They relaxed together for a while, Buck needing to prop his leg from where it’d been battered during everything and Christopher seeming content to just curl up into Buck’s side and drift between being awake and dozing off. Eventually they puttered around Buck’s apartment and colored some and played with the LEGOs before they both got a little restless and decided to take a walk. It was short and by the end of it they both seemed worn out so Buck flipped on a movie and before long, Christopher was asleep again, tucked between Buck and the back of the couch with his head pressed up against Buck’s arm.

“I’ve got you, Chris,” Buck murmured so that he wouldn’t wake him up, just stroked his fingers through Christopher’s hair to get it away from his eyes.

…..

Eddie was terrified of Christopher’s nightmares that suddenly started a few days after the tsunami. Every night he would wake up screaming and crying and it took Eddie hours to calm him back down enough to even lay down- in Eddie’s bed because Christopher couldn’t stand to be on his own afterwards- let alone try to go to sleep.

What scared him even more was that way that Christopher would brush off Eddie’s questions about what it was in his nightmares that was scaring him so much. He insisted that he was fine, but Eddie had never seen Christopher like this. He’d had nightmares before, sure, Christopher was eight years old, but nothing that he was too scared to talk about or to not be able to fall back to sleep after a little while.

The therapist had been recommended by Hen and supported by Athena and Carla, so Eddie had decided to try it out and see if it made any difference. At first it didn’t seem like it, but at least he had someone that he could talk to about everything going on with Christopher that could do more than sympathize. They tried a couple of different things and while Eddie was so frustrated that he couldn’t seem to just take away whatever pain it was that Christopher was holding, he was willing to do whatever it took for however long it took.

…..

Buck was happy when Athena invited him over to her and Bobby’s for dinner. He hadn’t really had a chance to hang out very much with his old crew since taking the Fire Marshal job in an effort to show the department that he was ready to go back to active duty. He felt good and as he was telling Bobby and Athena the story about how he’d told off that snarky lawyer for trying to mess with his family, he had a realization. Maybe if the 118 came together and penned up something to the department, then they’d let Buck come back.

Then Bobby had dropped the fucking bomb in the middle of the goddamn dinner table.

Bobby was the reason that he wasn’t allowed to come back.

Bobby, who had been like Buck’s father and brought him under his wing and supported him even when he was a stupid fuck-up who couldn’t grow up and act like an adult, didn’t think Buck could do it.

The betrayal ripped through him and while he protested, slamming his hands on the table in front of him and making both Bobby and Athena look at him in shock, he knew that it didn’t matter. Bobby wouldn’t ever think that Buck was good enough. His scent went funny in a way he’d never smelled before and he could feel the way his whole body was trying to rearrange itself. He made excuses and stood up from the table abruptly. He needed to get away. He didn’t want them to see him lose his control like that, it’d only prove Bobby’s point. He could barely hear Athena’s calls for him to stay, soon joined in by Bobby calling his name, over the pounding in his head.

His control was hanging by a ragged thread by the time he was back at his apartment. The shift ripped through him and it was the first time he’d done so since his surgeries. It hurt and his leg was sore in a different way than normal, but he wasn’t in enough pain to force him to go back. He prowled the open space of his apartment and had to contain himself from trashing his furniture and shredding anything in sight. It wouldn’t help, just leave him with a mess to clean up later. As if his life wasn’t a mess enough already.

Once he’d shifted back and he’d gotten cleaned up and ready for bed, he decided to finally try and do something besides just sitting and hoping that the department would throw him a bone. He was going to talk to someone about getting his job back.

…..

It seemed so obvious once Eddie had seen Christopher’s drawing of their family. He rifled through the papers that the therapist had given him and found the one of the drowning woman that Eddie hadn’t been able to figure out. He glanced between the drawing of the woman in the water and Shannon in Christopher’s family portrait. They were too similar to pass it off as a coincidence.

“Christopher…” Eddie said softly as he glanced between the two drawings. “Is this Mom?” He asked and showed the drawing from his therapy file. Christopher just looked away from Eddie with a slight wince and Eddie crossed the room to kneel down by his son’s bed. “Hey,” he said and smoothed his hand over Christopher’s knee soothingly. “Is that who you’ve been dreaming about?” Chris nodded and picked at a loose thread on his comforter. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Eddie asked and cradled Christopher’s face in his hand.

“I don’t want to make you sad,” Christopher said and finally lifted his eyes up to Eddie’s.

“Oh,” Eddie said and he leaned forward to pull Christopher into a tight hug when Christopher let out a soft, almost pained, whimper. “Hey, hey.” Eddie rubbed his back before pulling just far enough away to be able to look Christopher in the eye. “There’s nothing wrong with being sad. I loved your mom and I miss her- probably always will- but we still got each other.” Christopher nodded and he moved to hold onto the collar of Eddie’s shirt and then smooth a hand over his cheek. “Which means, _we_ are gonna be o-kay.”

“Okay,” Christopher said and Eddie nodded as he placed a kiss against his son’s hand.

“Okay,” Eddie said and pulled Christopher in for another tight hug.

“I love you, Daddy,” Christopher said quietly against Eddie’s shirt.

“And I love you, kid. More than anything,” Eddie said and pressed another kiss against the side of Christopher’s head. “Now get some sleep.” Eddie tucked Christopher in again and gave him a reassuring smile before he turned out the light and headed into his own bedroom. Although he felt like he had a little bit more of a handle on the situation, he still couldn’t sleep for a long while. He felt unsettled and it pricked at the back of his mind uncomfortably.

…..

Delivering the lawsuit papers to Bobby had to be the hardest thing that Buck’s ever done. It went against every instinct in his body. Bobby was his friend, practically his father, and the alpha of Buck’s pack. Going against him didn’t sit well with him at all, but he had to. If he didn’t, he would be behind a desk marking up forms until he retired and he couldn’t stand the thought of that. He’d told Bobby that he was going to fight for his job. He’d meant it.

He apologized about dinner before handing the papers over. His hands were trembling as Bobby took the packet of papers. Athena looked at him in disbelief and he couldn’t help but duck his head under the combined weight of their disapproval. He whined a little in the back of his throat before he told them goodnight and left.

…..

Bobby had sat them all down at the station to explain what was going on and how things were going to proceed. Eddie felt something dark settle in his chest and thrum through his blood as Bobby told all of them that Buck was suing the city and the department for wrongful termination due to discriminatory and unequal practices on Bobby’s part.

There was going to be a hearing before anything went to court- just to establish whether or not there was any viability to Buck’s claim- and they were all expected to appear and make a statement about what had happened surrounding Buck’s accident and his treatment afterwards.

Eddie was almost glad that he hadn’t ever had to go to court with Shannon if this was anything like what divorce court would have been like. Buck’s lawyer- the slimey one from the building evac a few weeks prior- was really drilling into him as he saw across from Buck. “But you were a field medic,” the lawyer pointed out and Eddie shrugged.

“Doesn’t qualify me to comment on Buck’s medical status,” Eddie said flatly as he flicked his eyes over where Buck was sitting. He looked impossibly small for a guy his size, though Eddie could tell by the way Buck’s suit didn’t fit him properly that Buck had lost more weight since he’d last seen him after the tsunami. When he hadn’t mentioned a word of what he was about to do. He felt a spike of anger. “Does make me understand the chain of command,” Eddie said waspishly. “And if Cap says he’s not ready, he’s not ready.”

“Were you ready, Firefighter Diaz?” The lawyer asked and Eddie frowned a little. Unlike Chim, he’d never been injured in the line of duty so he didn’t understand what this could be about. “To return to work after your bond mate’s death?”

Eddie felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He glanced at where Buck was staring intently at the table, his scent stale and obviously nervous. “That’s my business,” Eddie said defensively.

“It’s also your Captain’s business. He never suggested you take some time, see a counselor?”

“He wasn’t there at the time,” Eddie said as a way to dodge the question just the tiniest bit. The lawyer nodded and then he started talking about Bobby’s alcoholism and an event where Buck had found Bobby passed out in his apartment after a relapse in his sobriety. Buck flinched when it was brought up, but despite the obvious guilt in his posture- Eddie felt a sharp stab of betrayal on Bobby’s behalf. “That was before I got here,” Eddie bit out.

Suddenly the lawyer was switching gears and asking Eddie about his status and the status of the others on the team. Eddie answered about his own status with a frown, not understanding what this had to do with Buck’s injury.

“So the normal shift team that Mr. Buckley works with is comprised of two alpha members and two beta members, correct?” The lawyer asked, just to reiterate what Eddie had just answered.

“Yeah, it is but I don’t see-” The lawyer swiftly cut Eddie off.

“That would make Mr. Buckley the only omega on the team, correct? Unless there are any other firefighters at the 118 that you know of.” Eddie wracked his brain, but as far as he knew Buck was the only one.

“Yeah, I guess it would,” Eddie admitted begrudgingly and shifted in his seat.

“Do you think it’s safe to say that Captain Nash is more protective of Mr. Buckley due to this fact?”

“Cap is protective of all of us,” Eddie snapped, finally catching on to what the lawyer was trying to imply with this line of questioning, “because he’s the leader of our team- our pack- and feels responsible for us. Buck being an omega has nothing to do with any measures Bobby has taken that pertain to this hearing. Besides, up until about a year ago, Buck didn’t even know he was an omega to start with.”

“But he does treat Mr. Buckley differently than the rest of you?” The lawyer pressed and Eddie ground his teeth. He hated feeling like he’d been painted into a corner and he couldn’t blame anyone other than himself this time.

“Yes, but his status doesn’t have anything to do with that different treatment. Buck and Cap have a different relationship because Cap took Buck under his wing when he started at the department, treated him like a son, and up until now, Buck’s never had a problem with it.” Eddie glared at Buck but Buck never even lifted his head to look Eddie in the eye.

…..

The anger from everything going on with Buck was still thrumming just under his skin when some jackass tried to yell at him for parking in a handicap spot when he was dropping Christopher off at a friend’s birthday party. Thankfully, Christopher was already well away from the park’s entrance when Eddie- in a spectacular display of stereotypically thoughtless, macho alpha behavior- knocked the guy out cold. He grimaced as he was taken to jail and he scrambled to try and figure out who he could call. He couldn’t call his Abuela- she’d absolutely rip him a new one in both Spanish and English until his ears stung with the force of her disapproval- or anyone at the 118- it would be embarrassing to try and explain what had happened without looking like a total hot-head- and of course, he wasn’t allowed to talk to Buck. So that only really left one person that Eddie could think of and he wasn’t even sure she would come.

“Thanks for coming to bail me out,” Eddie said sheepishly as he messed with his jacket.

“I was surprised to get your call,” Lena said and gave him a side-eye. “I didn’t think we’d reached the ‘bail each other out of jail’ phase of our friendship.” Eddie shot her a flat look as they stepped out of the jail once the guard had opened the gate for them.

“Well there was no way I was going to call my abuela or the 118, and I’m not _allowed_ to talk to Buck,” Eddie said with a bitter edge to his voice that he couldn’t hide.

“Look, I don’t mind the bailing, but I’m a little concerned about the jailing part.” Lena gave him a stern look and Eddie just shrugged helplessly.

“I guess…” Eddie sighed heavily and shook his head, “I just snapped.”

“You punched a _handicap_ guy,” Lena said and Eddie growled in frustration.

“He _wasn’t_ handicapped! He had a bad-” Eddie took a sharp breath in to calm his rising anger. “He had a bad knee, there’s a difference.” Lena’s mouth twitched up in amusement and Eddie narrowed his eyes at her. “Won’t happen again. Lesson learned.”

“I hope so,” Lena said but there was a skeptical edge to her voice as she eyed Eddie up and down. Eddie let out a harsh breath as he followed Lena to her truck so that she could drive him back to the park so he could get his own truck back.

Despite how it made him feel to admit it, Eddie did feel a little of the tension that he’d been carrying ease. He’d been hurt and angry and wound up and knocking out that asshole- as much as it was wrong and he knew it- had made him feel a little better. And maybe that was why when Lena told him that she wanted to take him somewhere that she thought might help him let off some steam, he agreed without asking too many questions. That somewhere ended up being an illegal alpha street-fighting ring. And… and it piqued Eddie’s interest as he watched Lena fighting against a much larger alpha and taking him down.

He’d felt a little better when he’d let go of his carefully crafted control and hit that guy in the parking lot, maybe he could give Lena’s form of therapy a try and at least this time he wouldn’t end up in jail and owing Lena some favors.

…..

Buck didn’t want money. He’d never wanted to try and make a profit or to make the department look bad. He just wanted his job. To be able to come home to his pack and to do the work that he felt he was good at, that actually did some good. So when he’d gotten a call from his lawyer he’d been excited. It seemed that the city had finally started to see his side of things and was willing to at least come to the table and talk- but then he’d looked at the number in front of him and frowned. He declined it immediately and told the lawyer to tell the city rep that he didn’t want the money, just a chance at his job.

His lawyer looked pissed- and was staring at Buck like he thought Buck was an idiot, and maybe he was but this was what he wanted- but nodded and started making some calls. Buck left the office and it occurred to him that today was shopping day at the station. Buck chewed his lip as he thought about it. He knew that his lawyer wouldn’t approve since technically they were still negotiating with the city, but Buck felt that sharp tug in his gut and he threw all of it out the window. He wanted to see his pack, even if they probably didn’t want to see him.

He felt stupid as he tried to come up with an excuse when he ran into the team as they were making their way through Bobby’s meticulous lists. Buck remembered being paired up with Eddie and nearly busting a gut as they tried to figure out what some of the stuff Bobby had written down was even for. He shook off the memory and bit his lip. “Listen, I-I came here to apologize,” Buck said and he squirmed a little on his feet as he watched their body language. Hen and Chim were more open than Bobby and Eddie, but he didn’t let it deter him. “Okay? I never meant for things to get so out of hand with the lawsuit and- and everything-”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie snapped from where he’d been almost to the back of the pack. “And what’d you think was gonna happen?” Buck’s shoulders curled in a little as he felt the first sparks of Eddie’s anger lighting up the back of his mind. “The lawsuits bad enough but you told your lawyer _everything_ about us. _Personal_ things.”

“Well… you’re supposed to be truthful with your lawyer,” Buck said weakly. He knew it wasn’t a great defense, but he hadn’t thought that most of those things would have been brought up in the hearing. He hadn’t said it because he wanted it to be used against them. He’d said it because he was hurt and upset and it had all come spilling out of him before he’d really thought it all through. Then he felt that hurt sharpen into something else watching Eddie glare at him like that. “Why are you so pissed at me?” Bobby, he understood. Buck had all but attacked Bobby in every way possible, but Eddie hadn’t been that big of a part of this.

“Because you’re exhausting!” Eddie snapped and he stalked closer, brushing past Hen, his scent smelling burnt with his anger. “We all have our own problems but you don’t see us whining about it! No, somehow we just manage to _suck it up_! Why can’t you?”

“That’s kind of harsh, it’s not like the guy asked to be crushed by a ladder truck,” Chim said and looked between Eddie and Buck with a worried frown.

“No but he filed a stupid lawsuit and now I can’t even talk to you because of it!” Eddie said and his eyes never left Buck’s. They were starting to take on that amber glow that meant that Eddie’s control was wavering. “You know how much Christopher misses you?” Eddie asked pointedly and Buck ducked his head like Eddie had just slapped him. He might as well have, it would have been less painful. “How could you? You’re not around!”

“I-I didn’t realize that,” Buck stuttered and he took a slight step forward, as if proximity could make things better instead of making them worse. “Maybe I could come and visit Christopher? You know, the lawsuit doesn’t prevent that.” Because Christopher didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle of this. The kid had already been through enough without Buck making things worse by not being there to support him.

“No, it prevents me from reaching out to you!” Eddie growled as he stepped closer, his eyes flashing dangerously as he pointed at Buck’s chest. “I couldn’t even call you to bail me out of jail!”

Buck felt like he’d been doused in cold water. Eddie had been in jail? What had happened? Was he alright? Where was Christopher? It seemed like this wasn’t just news to him if Bobby’s raised eyebrow was anything to go by.

Eddie faltered a little, the glow dimming from his eyes as he realized what he’d just said. “If that was something that happened,” he said lamely and crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

“What are you talking about?” Buck asked and then shook his head. “Look, man- why can’t you see my side of this?” Buck didn’t understand why Eddie- of all people- couldn’t understand that all Buck wanted was to get back to them. That he wasn’t just trying to embarrass them or make them feel abandoned. It was the exact opposite.

“’Cause that’s all you see!” Eddie shouted and suddenly his eyes were flashing again and he was all up in Buck’s space, Buck not even having the time to try and scramble back away from him.

There was a loud crash from the parking lot and before Buck could say anything, his pack was turning away from him and jogging out to do their jobs. Buck wanted to go after them, but he found himself frozen in place and unable to do anything.

Based on everyone’s behavior at the store, Buck was sure that they all hated him and he couldn’t help but think that maybe he deserved it a little. Eddie was right. He hadn’t been able to just suck it up and keep going. And that wasn’t good for him. It couldn’t be. So when he got a text from Bobby inviting him out to a Rage Room, he was surprised to say the least and wary of what this was all going to be about.

He was elated to know that the city was letting him come back, and that Bobby wasn’t having his transferred. And yeah, he could tell that Bobby was about to give him a healthy amount of tough love, but he figured it was penance for what he’d done. He’d accept it as best as possible and with as much grace as he could muster.

His first day back was rough to say the least. Hen seemed to be the only one that really was glad to see him back, bringing him a cupcake that bled when you cut it open and making sure to ruffle his hair before they stepped out of the locker room. It felt a little bit like when he’d first started out and everyone was just trying to get used to him, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just meant that he needed to show everyone that he could do this.

He couldn’t help but feel put-out by the iciness that Eddie threw his way and the way that Eddie brushed off his concern. Buck didn’t think there was any way that Christopher- who was so gentle and sweet even when he was play-biting after he’d shifted- had caused the gnarly bruise on Eddie’s arm, but Eddie didn’t seem keen on sharing so Buck let it drop.

Bobby kept him as man back for his first shift and on Halloween itself- which sucked because Halloween was the weirdest night of the year and in one night they almost always got a year’s worth of stories. But he grit his teeth and bore it because he needed to show Bobby that he hadn’t made a mistake in letting Buck come back. He tried reaching out to Eddie a couple times, but just like with the bruise, he brushed Buck off. The last one, he made a snappy comment about the lawsuit and Buck flinched away before going back to passing out candy and smoke detectors.

…..

Eddie passed by Buck, who was hauling boxes of decorations to be put away since Halloween was officially over, and he couldn’t help the spike of emotion that seeing him caused. “So that’s how it’s going to be now?” Buck asked and Eddie stopped, his back to Buck as the other shifted the box in his arms. “You’re just going to keep on ghosting me? Because- uh- Halloween is over, just so you know.”

Eddie turned on his heel and narrowed his eyes at Buck. “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck. Forgive, forget, make you feel better about what you did?”

“I just want you to talk to me,” Buck said desperately and held his hands up helplessly. “Even if it’s just to say that you’re still mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m-” Eddie said and he knew that Buck would be able to smell his irritation, but it was more with this conversation than with Buck as a whole. He’d been mad, but he’d gotten over it. He wasn’t exactly sure how to describe what he was feeling now so he plowed over that. “When you decided to sue the department, to make Cap the bad guy, did you ever stop for a minute to think what that could do to _us_?” Eddie asked. And he didn’t mean the team. He meant just him and Buck. He had relied on Buck to have his back, and vice versa, but then Buck had just decided to leave without a word of warning. He left Eddie to scramble to find his balance again and he didn’t even seem to care that Eddie and Christopher had to pick up the pieces and try to figure it out.

“I just needed my job back!” Buck insisted and took a few steps closer, though he rocked back on his feet at the look on Eddie’s face. “I missed- I missed being here. Being part of the team- this pack. I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”

Eddie shook his head and tried to ignore the way that Buck’s big blue eyes were pleading with him to understand- or try to. “Lot of ‘I’s in there,” Eddie muttered and crossed his arms. “Your actions, your choices, they impact the rest of us. _That’s_ what it means to be a part of a pack.”

Buck hesitated and let out a shaky breath before nodding. “You’re right,” he said softly, his voice scratchy from trying to hold back his emotions. Eddie’s fingers twitched to reach out and comfort him, but Eddie refused to budge. “I didn’t think about what could happen. I was mad at Bobby for not letting me back. I was mad at you guys for moving on without me. I was mad that there was nothing I could do about it and I just- I wanted to-!”

“Punch someone?” Eddie finished and lifted his eyes to Buck’s.

“Yeah… a little,” Buck said and his shoulders slumped a little from where they’d gotten tense during his explanation. “And I get it… and I really am _sorry_.” Eddie watched him for a long moment and he could see it in Buck’s body language and smell it in his scent. Buck meant it. All of it. “So whatever it takes for you to forgive me-”

“Ugh, I forgive you,” Eddie said and shook his head a little at the shock on Buck’s face. Or course he forgave Buck, he was hurt and pushed him away- but that didn’t mean that he didn’t forgive him. “Also what it means to be part of a pack.” Eddie quirked the smallest of smiles. “Just- just don’t do it again,” Eddie said seriously and squinted at Buck almost teasingly.

Buck grinned at him and let out a short laugh which made Eddie melt a little before he stepped up to pull Buck into a hug. Buck clapped a hand down on his back and Eddie couldn’t help the groan of pain as Buck managed to hit him directly on one of his bruises from his late night fights. He quickly pulled back, as if that was going to disguise the sour note to his scent and the full-body flinch that Buck had no doubt felt, but thankfully Bobby called Buck’s name and it gave Eddie the opportunity to slip away without having to answer the questions that he could see just behind Buck’s eyes.

…..

Buck was sitting across the table from Bobby and they were eating breakfast when Bobby finally broke the silence between them. “So what’s going on with you and Eddie?” Bobby asked casually but Buck nearly choked on his bite of eggs anyways because he knew that Bobby would never ask anything like that casually. Buck cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee before he even tried to answer.

“What do you mean?” Buck asked, figuring it was best to play dumb while he tried to understand what exactly Bobby was asking him.

“Things have been tense between the two of you, but you were talking last night. Seemed like you’d had a little bit of a breakthrough,” Bobby said and he took a sip of his coffee, but Buck could see the knowing smirk that it was hiding.

Buck felt his cheeks get hot. “Yeah, I think we’re going to be alright. Might take some time to get back to where we were-”

“Which was?” Bobby asked with a pointedly raised eyebrow.

“Bobby…”

“I’m serious, Buck. I just want to make sure that the two of you are happy- as your friend.” Bobby leveled Buck with a soft look that had Buck’s shoulders relaxing a little. “I know that after what happened between the two of you,” Bobby grimaced in sympathy, “that things were rough. I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

Buck pushed his eggs around his plate and shrugged. “We’ve just sort of… avoided the topic. He was back with Shannon and then she died, and then I had my accident and it just never seemed like a good time.” Buck shrugged a little helplessly. “Maybe it’s a sign that I’m asking for too much. Eddie and I are friends and I’m okay with that.”

“Are you?”

Buck opened his mouth and then shut it without saying a word. He wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that question- if he was willing to answer that question to himself let alone to Bobby. “Yeah…?”

Bobby pursed his lips together but he let the topic drop and Bobby changed to conversation to what May and Harry had been up to. Buck hadn’t really gotten a chance to see them since the party that had gone so wrong. He missed them. He’d gotten a chance to hang out with them a lot during his recovery since Bobby and Athena had both been determined to make sure that he was taking his meds and eating proper meals. It would be nice to be able to go to Bobby and Athena’s and it not end in him throwing up blood or storming out of the house with his control holding on by a thread. Based on Bobby’s grin, he thought so too.

…..

Eddie knew that he was doing at the fighting rings was dangerous. He was sure that over the course of his tenure there, he’d cracked a couple bones, but it was never anything that kept him from doing his job or taking care of Christopher. It just left him more sore than normal and had him avoiding the showers and changing in front of anyone. If Buck had thought the bruise on his elbow had been a monster, Eddie didn’t want to know what he’d think of the ones that were all over his ribs and his shoulders.

It was dumb. Really. But it felt really good to let off some steam and then he started picking up cash on the side for his fights and he couldn’t say that it wasn’t a semi-decent incentive to keep doing it. Between Christopher’s bills, his truck crapping out on him again, and the normal expenses that just came with living in L.A. he could use the money.

Other than his new nightly hobby, his life had finally started to return to normal. He and Buck were talking and Buck had started up their routine of dinner and movie nights with Christopher. He felt bad that sometimes he was just so exhausted that he dozed off in the middle of the movie, but Buck didn’t seem to be upset with him about it. He’d just tuck Christopher into bed for him and then gently shake him awake to get some sleep himself.

He didn’t really question what he was doing until he was confronted with Lena’s outsider perspective on when he nearly killed a guy. He hadn’t meant to. It had happened pretty quick and he was so blindingly angry- at what he couldn’t tell you but he felt it seething in his chest- that he hadn’t taken the moment to recognize the guy couldn’t have protected himself from Eddie after he broke his nose.

Then, Bobby was calling him into the loft for a chat and he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand the way that Bobby was looking at him with that openly paternal look that made Eddie want to break down and finally just scream to let it all out. He could feel all of it just under the surface and when Bobby mentioned control and Eddie not having to lose everything, Eddie just snapped completely and finally lashed out. Not at Bobby per say, but Bobby was there and he was listening and he wasn’t telling Eddie to just quit whining and man up. He told Bobby about everything with Shannon- even the divorce which he’d never mentioned to anyone. Bobby just let him struggle through the telling of it and in pulling his pain back into control.

“I think you need to talk to somebody, Eddie. Everything you’ve been through recently, everything you’ve been keeping in- it’s going to eat you alive eventually. And I can’t have you putting yourself into danger- let alone danger that is technically illegal- and then coming into work. I know you’ve been trying to cover it up, but it’s obvious that you’ve been in pain. And that’s just the physical kind.” Eddie squirmed a little under Bobby’s steady gaze and he nodded. “The department has a really good trauma counselor and I think he might be able to help. I can give you his number.”

Eddie nodded and he gave Bobby a weak smile. Bobby pulled a card out of his pocket and scrawled a number on the back of it before handing it over to Eddie. Eddie looked at it and traced the name ‘Frank’ in Bobby’s slanting handwriting. “Thanks, Cap,” Eddie said and turned the card over in his hand for a few minutes before he stood and tucked it into his pocket. “I should go and get changed.” Eddie was quiet as he shuffled his way down to the locker room and started to get into his uniform. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts about his conversation with Bobby that he wasn’t paying attention to hiding the various injuries that stained his skin.

“What the hell, Eddie?” Buck’s voice rang out in the empty locker room and Eddie jumped when he felt cool hands against his skin. “What happened to you?” Buck asked and he turned Eddie around to take a look at the bruises on his chest, fingers ghosting over the nastiest bruise on Eddie’s ribs.

“It’s complicated,” Eddie said and he gently covered Buck’s hand on his side with a slight wince. “I- uh- I was fighting. Illegally,” Eddie admitted and he felt himself grimace a little at having to say it out loud. But he figured the first step was to admit what he’d done wrong. “There are these alpha street-fighting rings and I just- I’ve been fighting in them. At first it was just to let off some steam, to help me get out of my own head, but then- I don’t know. I was an idiot and I got caught and I’m lucky that Bobby didn’t just fire me,” Eddie said and he pulled away to grab at his t-shirt so he could pull it over his head and cover up the marks all over him.

“Eddie…” Buck said and trailed off. Eddie scowled down at his boots, unable to face Buck, but a light touch to the back of Eddie’s hand had him lifting his eyes to Buck’s. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Eddie almost wanted Buck to be angry at him, to point out everything that he could have lost by being so reckless and stupid, but then again… that just wasn’t Buck. He could get angry, sure, but it was never like the way that Eddie got angry with himself. Buck never made him feel like he wasn’t doing enough even when he screwed up.

So he tried really hard to make things work with Frank despite how combative Eddie was during their sessions. But Frank had a way of just waiting and listening. He didn’t take any of Eddie’s bullshit- which was good because Eddie tried to wiggle out of actually opening up at any and every given opportunity- and he didn’t make Eddie feel stupid or weak. He just made Eddie feel like he needed some support and like needing help- and actively asking for it- was completely normal. Which Eddie knew _logically_ , but he’d had it drilled into his head that help equated to weakness and that wasn’t something he could just relearn overnight.

Between his sessions with Frank, trying to be more open and honest about how he was feeling with Christopher, and Buck coming back into his life and giving Eddie the extra support he needed without Eddie having to ask, he felt at least a little bit better. Like he had better control over himself if not everything that was going on.

They were over at Buck’s to play some new game that Buck had bought for them to try out and Buck was just finishing up telling him a story about Maddie and an abuse victim as they cleaned up from their pizza night. “So she shoots him and then takes him back?” Eddie asked as he put the dishes into the sink.

“Yeah,” Buck laughed and shook his head as he reached into the fridge to grab them a couple of beers.

“And I thought my bond was complicated,” Eddie muttered as Buck popped the caps off the bottles. “How’s your sister taking it?”

“It’s- uh- kind of rough on her. I think she thought that she could save Tara from Vincent,” Buck said and slid one bottle over to Eddie, “but you know she’s realizing that you can’t save someone from themselves. Not if they don’t want it.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Eddie said and lifted his bottle to take a swig out of it.

There was a tense moment where Buck took a deep breath and was obviously trying to bolster his confidence. “Especially,” he started and ducked his head a little, “if you aren’t around to see that they need saving.” Eddie felt a furrow form between his brows as he watched Buck shifted on his feet awkwardly. They weren’t talking about Maddie anymore. “Look, I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Eddie. You and Chris needed me and I had my head so far up my own,” Buck cut a quick glance to where Christopher was sitting in the living room, “behind with that stupid lawsuit-”

“We’re way past that, Buck,” Eddie said and waved his hand. And he was. Even before he’d told Buck that he forgave him, Eddie knew that he was going to. Because Buck was special to him. He was special to Christopher and Eddie didn’t want to lose that.

“I’m not!” Buck said urgently. Eddie took a breath, not sure what to say, and then just let it out uselessly. Obviously, Buck was trying to work out whatever hurt feelings were left over, and Eddie needed to let him. “I should have been there. Maybe I could have talked some sense into you.” Buck cracked a small smile and Eddie shook his head a little.

“You talk some sense into me. That would have been interesting.” Eddie took another drink and Buck just grinned at him.

“I could have told you not to buy that truck,” Buck pointed out. While Eddie had had the extra money from the fights, the payments on the truck hadn’t been too awful bad- but without it, it definitely made the money situation a little tighter at the Diaz house.

“Yeah,” Eddie said around a sigh and then gave Buck a playful kick against the ankle. “You’d have talked me into buying something more expensive.”

“Fair point,” Buck said and wrinkled his nose.

“Look, things got a little out of hand for both of us. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Eddie was trying to go for a light tone, but something made Buck’s posture stiffen a little.

“Why? Because you’d rather do it?” Buck asked and stepped closer to Eddie.

“Excuse me?” Eddie asked and frowned at Buck. Did Buck really think that… that Eddie would want to- would actually…?

“Come on, Eddie. If you’re not going to be honest with Frank at least be honest with me,” Buck said and looked at Eddie through his lashes.

Eddie felt a little wrong-footed and wondered how they’d gotten here. “Who says I’m not being honest with Frank?”

“You said you two weren’t clicking.”

“Maybe I’m just not a therapy kind of guy,” Eddie countered and Buck nodded, leaning back against the edge of the kitchen island.

“Right, right. You uh- you prefer to work it out in the ring.” Buck put on a ridiculous tone and mimed a couple of very sloppy punches before grinning at Eddie teasingly.

“There was no ring, Buck. There _was_ a fence,” Eddie said and he was just messing around- despite it being true. The type of fighting Eddie had been doing was nothing at all like Buck would have seen on TV.

“Come on,” Buck said and he took half a step closer to Eddie. “You don’t think, while you were going through your phase, just maybe- you were throwing your punches at the wrong guy?”

Eddie let out a wry laugh. “Seriously? You’re gonna make it about you? Again.” Eddie blinked at Buck incredulously. It was sometimes mind-boggling how selfless and self-absorbed Buck could be at the same time.

“Look, I’m just saying. You were pretty pissed.” Eddie scoffed and looked away from Buck, not sure he wanted to look into Buck’s eyes and expose himself that much. Because Buck was one of the few people that could read his face. “You know I thought for sure that day in the grocery store you were going to take a swing at me.”

“Not that you didn’t deserve it,” Eddie said flatly, “but I wouldn’t do that.” Eddie felt a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth before he lifted his beer, his smile turning into something a bit more coy. “You’re on blood thinners.” He sent Buck a wink and Buck just hummed.

“I’d still take you,” Buck said and looked Eddie up and down as he picked up his drink and pointedly took a sip.

Eddie swallowed thickly. “You think so?”

“I know,” Buck said and Eddie was frozen in place as Buck smoothly pushed off from the edge of the island and stepped into Eddie’s space like it was something they did every day. And it wasn’t like there was always tons of space between them, but this was different. Buck was nearly standing between the sprawl of Eddie’s legs. “You want to go for the title?” Buck asked and Eddie couldn’t help the grin on his face as he lifted his beer to take another drink, just to give himself something to do besides haul Buck in for a kiss. For two reasons: Christopher was still in the other room waiting for them, and he didn’t really know if he and Buck were ready for that yet. Yeah, they’d already had sex, but that had been before everything that had come between them.

They both needed some time. So they went over and started knocking the virtual shit out of each other on Buck’s new game with Christopher squealed in delight and alternated who he was cheering for. It was a night that Eddie couldn’t stop from smiling about, even after he’d said goodnight to Buck and wrangled Christopher home and into bed.

He lay in bed for a long time, just thinking. He couldn’t pinpoint why, but he found that his mind started to think about Shannon and everything that had happened at the end of their relationship. He was still hurt because he’d never be able to get proper closure, but it didn’t feel like an insurmountable and ongoing crisis. He wasn’t over it, might never be completely over it, but he slowly felt like he was at least starting to go in the right direction to be able to move past it.

And that was a really good feeling.

…..

Buck couldn’t help but grimace as the rest of the team around him were all busting a gut laughing at his Santa debacle from the department store. Hen and Chim were both nearly crying from laughter and even Bobby was hiding a grin behind his hand and suppressing a couple of amused snorts.

“I thought you said you were _good_ with kids, Buck,” Eddie joked and Buck shot him a sour look. “Remind me not to let Christopher ask you about Santa,” Eddie teased and leaned into Buck’s side before letting out a short laugh.

“It wasn’t what I meant! They just didn’t-!” Buck let out a frustrated noise that only served to make Eddie, Chim, and Hen laugh harder. “I hate all of you, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah right,” Hen said and leaned over to flick Buck’s ear playfully. Buck swatted at her hand, making her smack him back in retaliation before Eddie reached over Buck’s chest and held onto his hands.

“Play nice, kids,” Eddie said in his patented Patient But Fed Up With Your Shenanigans Dad Voice. He was almost as good at it as Bobby was.

“Or I’ll ground you,” Bobby shot over his shoulder and shook his head at the way he had to babysit his team of fully grown adults. The whole group let out a short laugh, but instead of letting go of Buck’s hands, Eddie just kept Buck’s hand in his. Buck blushed a little but he didn’t comment and thankfully no one else did. But Hen gave him a knowing side-eye that had him kicking her in the shin underneath the table.

…..

Eddie was washing up the dishes when Christopher came over and leaned his head against Eddie’s side. He was growing up so quickly, having hit a growth spurt in the last couple of months, and instead of his head pressed against Eddie’s hip it was more like the middle of his side. “What’s up, kid?” Eddie asked as Christopher just watched him finishing up the dishes.

“What’re we going to do for Christmas this year?” Christopher asked and there was nothing but childhood curiosity there. But still, Eddie flinched. He hadn’t been sure how to have this conversation with Chris yet.

“Actually, Superman,” Eddie said and wiped the water off of his hands. “you’re going to go with Abuela for Christmas this year.”

“Why?” Christopher asked and his face scrunched up in confusion.

“Well, uh, I’ve got to work.” Eddie said and he went to wrap his arm around Christopher’s shoulders, but his son pulled away. It was obvious that he was upset and hurt, but Eddie wasn’t sure what he could do. “It’s okay, _mijo_ , because-”

“No!” Christopher shouted and he shook his head. “You can’t be working! It’s Christmas!”

“I know, but Christopher-” Eddie started but Christopher just stomped his foot angrily and shook his head.

“You can’t! It’s not fair!” Christopher turned away and he stomped down to his room before Eddie could open his mouth and say anything else. Eddie’s eyes widened as he heard Christopher’s bedroom door slam shut and he stood there for a long time, unsure of what to do. Christopher wasn’t a temper tantrum kind of kid. He never had been. But this was definitely a tantrum and Eddie needed to deal with it now.

Eddie walked down the hall after he’d finished putting up the leftovers from dinner and he leaned against the wall beside Christopher’s door. “Christopher,” he called softly and he knocked on the door. “Can I come in?” Eddie asked and he didn’t get a response. “Christopher…” Eddie felt helpless for a moment and when he tried the door it wasn’t locked so he opened it just enough to peek inside. Christopher was on his bed and facing away from where Eddie was standing in the doorway. “Christopher, can we please talk?” Eddie asked and he waited for his son to respond, but it never came. He was getting the cold shoulder and it hurt him more than anything else in the world. “Okay, buddy. I’m going to give you some space, alright? But you’ve got an hour before I come back in here to make sure you’re ready for bed.” Still, Christopher didn’t respond so Eddie just left the door cracked before he went to the dining room to give the both of them time and space to breathe.

He went through his own nighttime routine just to give himself something to fill the time before he made his way back down to his son’s bedroom. Once again he knocked before he stepped in and Christopher was sitting in bed, in his pajamas, and with his arms crossed to properly convey his displeasure. “You want to talk to me or do you just want me to tuck you in and we’ll talk later?” Eddie asked. Christopher just gave him a flat look and Eddie nodded. “Alright, kid. I love you.” He leaned down to give Christopher a hug and a kiss before tucking him in. Unlike every other night, Christopher didn’t say anything back, just rolled over away from Eddie. If this was a preview of Christopher’s upcoming teenaged years, Eddie wasn’t sure he wanted his son to grow up.

…..

Buck had been more than happy to be lumped in with the ‘boys’ for the playdate between Christopher and Denny. Both of the kids were great and they seemed to get along just fine as they worked on making gingerbread houses. Besides, with him there, Eddie could commiserate over the holiday disaster of telling Christopher about working on Christmas with a fellow parent. It was one thing to tell Buck about it, it was another thing entirely to have another parent who understood and had likely been there herself.

“Alright, who needs more cement?” Buck asked as he stirred the cannister of frosting that they were using to stick the pieces together. Both Christopher and Denny grinned and laughed as they raised their hands. “Denny, we will do you first,” Buck said and Denny handed him the two pieces that he needed put together. He glanced up as he was holding them- waiting for the frosting to harden up a little- to see Eddie grinning at him softly from where he and Hen were in the dining room having a couple of mugs of coffee.

“Hey, Buck?” Christopher asked and shuffled a little closer.

“Yeah?” Buck asked as he settled Denny’s pieces down carefully in front of him so he could continue decorating.

“Can I spend Christmas with you?” Christopher asked as he picked up a section of his gingerbread house to stick more sprinkles onto.

Buck’s smile slipped from his face and he turned to look at Eddie. Eddie who was holding himself stiff as a board and shaking his head a little. He wasn’t upset with Christopher for asking, or Buck for being the one that Christopher asked, but himself. Buck wasn’t sure how he knew that, but he knew.

“I’m sorry, buddy, but-uh- I’m going to be working on Christmas with-uh- with your Dad,” Buck explained delicately, hoping that Christopher wasn’t about to have another meltdown like he’d had with Eddie.

Christopher ducked his head and he seemed to be frowning intently. “Stupid work,” he muttered as he stuck some more sprinkles around the window of his gingerbread house.

“Hey,” Buck started to reach out but Christopher just pulled away and went about finishing up his gingerbread house. Buck couldn’t help but wince a little at a fraction of the cold shoulder treatment that Christopher had been giving Eddie. He sighed heavily as he smoothed a hand over Christopher’s shoulder and then stood to make his way over to where the other adults were talking. Christmas this year seemed kind of a like a bummer with everything that was going on with Bobby and Hen and the way they were all working a long shift together instead of spending any time at home with their families. It just… sucked. And Buck wished there was something he could do to make it better.

The plan started to percolate in the back of his mind when he and Bobby were talking about what they were going to do for the station’s Christmas dinner. Initially, they’d been talking about Bobby’s exposure and Buck couldn’t help but rattle off all the symptoms of radiation poisoning and other things that could be caused by radiation exposure, but Bobby just seemed to brush off Buck’s concerns with a gentle but firm hand. So Buck played a little dirty by making sure that Bobby remembered that it wasn’t just Athena, Harry, and May that relied on Bobby- but Buck did too. Then Buck couldn’t help but fixate on making Christmas something other than delivery food at the station while they all struggled through their shift.

He called Maddie and together the siblings decided to try and get Athena in on Buck’s idea for Christmas- just to see if she thought they could pull it together and make it work. And to enlist her help of course. Buck knew that Athena’s Christmases were all-out based on what May and Harry had told him from when they were younger, and if anyone could help pull something like this together it would be Athena.

Buck talked to Athena about the logistics and whatever she could do on her end before he called Abuela, Karen, and Michael and texting some of the other spouses of the firefighters on shift as well as May to make sure that she and Harry would help Athena out and be there for Bobby’s first Christmas as a part of the Grant-Nash household.

All the hassle of trying to organize that many people to make sure that not everything fell onto one person was difficult, but it was worth it to see the way that everybody lit up when they saw their families up in the loft. Especially Eddie when he went over to scoop up Christopher the moment that his eyes landed on his son.

“I can’t believe you did this,” Hen said with a bright smile as she smoothed a hand over Denny’s back. “Thank you, Buck.” The warmth radiating off of Hen as Buck hugged Karen and then leaned into her side was making him warm all over to.

“Well, you inspired me,” Buck said and he turned to see the mistletoe above their head. “You know I figured we should all,” he said as he plucked it down from the beam above them, “get to immerse ourselves in the magic of Christmas.” He winked at Hen before holding out his arms so he could wrap her up into a tight hug and press a smacking kiss against her cheek. She playfully shoved at his jaw before ruffling his hair. He made a face at her before he trotted over to where Eddie, Abuela, and Christopher were sitting nearby. Buck held up the mistletoe and pressed a sweet kiss to Abuela’s cheek and then another jokingly smacking one against Christopher’s before tucking it into his back pocket. Christopher was sitting in Eddie’s lap and content to tell Eddie all about how Buck had helped to rope Abuela into his little plan. Eddie’s gaze felt as intent as touch and Buck felt his cheeks getting hot, but Eddie didn’t have a chance to say anything to him before Bobby was calling them to dinner.

Buck was sandwiched between Christopher and Harry- grouped in with the Grant-Nash family- with Eddie just on Christopher’s other side. He couldn’t help but glance over at him every so often despite being deep in conversation with May across from him. Though it slowly devolved into the two of them childishly making faces at each other across the table and not-so-subtly kicking at each other’s ankles until Athena gave them both a sharp look. It felt like a true family Christmas and Buck couldn’t help but smile at the warm glow of happiness that was blanketing the station.

…..

Eddie couldn’t have been more elated than he was in that moment. It was Christmas and he was surrounded by the people he loved the most. Christopher was off playing with the new firetruck that Buck had given him as a gift- which made Eddie’s heart feel like thudding out of his chest- so Eddie decided to maybe try and finish that talk that had been interrupted so long ago. Buck was sitting with Athena and Eddie put a hand onto his shoulder before leaning his hip against Buck’s chair. “Mind if I steal him for a minute?” Eddie asked.

Athena lifted an eyebrow but just shooed them away. “Go on then, I know you two won’t stop shooting longing looks at each other until you get a minute of peace, but I’m getting a full family photo in a couple minutes.” She leveled a finger at them and Eddie felt his cheeks get hot as he nodded.

“We’ll be there, Athena. No worries,” Buck said and stood from his chair before nodding towards the stairs. Everyone had- for the most part- stayed up in the loft so downstairs was a little quieter and less busy. They were about halfway down the stairs when Eddie mustered up the courage to slip his hand into Buck’s. Buck glanced down at their joined hands but didn’t try to pull away. Eddie’s stomach did a little flip and he took a steadying breath as they moved to lean against the wall to the locker room.

“I know everybody’s been saying it,” Eddie said and he gave Buck’s hand a squeeze, “but thank you, Buck. It-uh – it really means a lot that you helped make this Christmas really special.”

“Of course, Eds,” Buck said and he swung their hands a little. “You guys deserved the win.”

“And what about you?” Eddie asked and lifted an eyebrow. Buck tilted his head a little and Eddie’s heart melted at the sight of Buck’s obvious confusion. “I know you love doing things for other people- and you don’t do them with the intention of getting anything out of it- but I think, just this once,” Eddie said and he took a half-step forward into Buck’s space so that he could pluck the slightly smushed sprig of mistletoe from Buck’s back pocket, “you deserve a win too.” Eddie lifted it above their heads like he’d seen Buck do to just about the whole station, although Eddie wasn’t intending a chaste little peck on the cheek. Buck looked up at it and then back down at the small smile on Eddie’s face and he shuffled a little closer.

“Yeah?” Buck asked and let go of Eddie’s hand so that he could put his hands on Eddie’s waist.

“Yeah,” Eddie said quietly and brushed their noses together.

It wasn’t as heated as their first kiss, but it was just as good. It felt just as right. Eddie dropped his arm so that he could hold onto Buck’s hips, Buck shifting so that he was holding onto Eddie’s shoulders and smoothing his thumb over the cropped hair at the nape of his neck. They kept it clean since they were still at work and their coworkers and family were just above them, but each time they broke away from each other they couldn’t stay away and started to kiss again.

They heard Athena calling them for the photo and they broke away from each other reluctantly, helping the other smooth out their shirts and hair from where a few touches has mussed them up, before heading up into the loft where Athena was directing everyone. Eddie stood with his abuela and Christopher and Buck stepped up behind him, putting his hand on Eddie’s hip since there was no way with how squeezed in they were that it would be visible in the photo. The picture was taken and approved by Athena and a handful of the others with promises to get a copy to everyone who wanted it.

They were called away and by the time they got back most of their family had gone home, but Christopher was still hanging on strong and Eddie was glad that he got a chance to give his son a hug and a kiss before he and Abuela were off to catch the tail end of Christmas as Aunt Pepa’s. Christopher went over and made sure to give Buck a hug too and they talked for a little while, though Eddie couldn’t overhear what they were talking about before Buck carried Chris out to Abuela’s car to get him buckled in.

“He’s a good man, Eddito,” Abuela said from where she was leaning into his shoulder.

“He really is,” Eddie said and rubbed the back of his neck. “Abuela, I-”

She tutted at him softly and put a hand against his arm. “I know, _mi amor_. He’s good for you and he loves Christopher. I just want you to be happy, Edmundo. That’s all that needs to be said.” She squeezed his arm and Eddie leaned down so she could press a kiss against his temple. He felt his throat get tight as he just nodded. He wasn’t sure how his family was going to respond if he and Buck ever managed to get their acts together, but he knew that at least he had his Abuela on his side. He walked her out to her car and together he and Buck watched her head out with Christopher. He wrapped an arm around Buck’s waist and pulled Buck into his side. They fit together almost seamlessly and Eddie could kick himself for waiting so long, but he had Buck now and that’s what mattered to him.

…..

Eddie was the first person Buck called after he stepped out of his consultation to have the screws in his leg removed. The surgeon was confident that with the way the union of his bones was progressing they could take them out without any issues or further damage. It would be a pretty simple surgery and he should be out of the hospital in a day to recoup at home.

“That’s great, Buck. Tell me the day and I’ll see if I can swing by to drive you home and get you set up,” Eddie said across the line.

“Eddie, you don’t have to do that, I’m sure Maddie-”

“I want to,” Eddie said earnestly and it made Buck smile into the phone. He gave Eddie all the details and Eddie promised him that he’d talk to Bobby about getting off his shift early to come and drive Buck home.

The surgery went really well and his recovery was much easier- and shorter- than his previous surgeries, and it left him feel better than he’d felt in a long time. His aches and twinges were almost nonexistent now and he’d even managed to execute a rescue from the top of a moving firetruck without any pain. And to top it all off, his next set of scans showed that his bones were fully fused with little scar tissue and that his blood clots were gone, even after stopping the blood thinners.

Things were looking up: his health was looking so much better than it had in almost a year, he had his pack around him, and things with Eddie were going really well. They were taking things slow, and hadn’t told anyone about them giving a relationship a chance, but Buck was content with that. He and Eddie would do the same dinner and movie nights with Christopher whenever they got the chance, but every now and then they’d ask Abuela to come over to watch Christopher while they went out by themselves. While Christopher often asked if they were sure that he couldn’t come along too, he never seemed upset or put-out about them going out without him.

Buck and Eddie were walking down the beach after having dinner when Eddie suddenly stopped and chewed his lip, a sure-fire way to know that he was nervous. “What?” Buck asked and frowned a little.

“I-uh- wanted to ask you something,” Eddie said and scratched the back of his neck, another of his nervous ticks. “So, you know that Parent-Teacher Night is coming up at Christopher’s school, and I asked Carla to come with me to help me with everything that I don’t get but…” Eddie shifted and Buck just waited him out as Eddie tried to find the right words. “But I’d really like it if you came with me too. I mean, you drop off and pick Christopher up from school almost as often as I do and I know that you’ve been helping him out with school when I can’t so… so I figured you might want to come. But you don’t have to, Buck. I get it if you’re busy or if it’s just too much-”

“No, Eddie,” Buck said and shook his head. “I’d like to come. I just don’t want to come if you’re not ready or if it’s going to step on your toes.”

Eddie just grinned at him and shook his head. “Not at all. You’re a big part of Christopher’s life… and mine. This is just reflecting that.” Buck smiled and he slipped his hand into Eddie’s.

“Alright then, I’ll be there,” Buck said and ducked in to press a kiss against the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Eddie tilted his head into it and Buck hummed contentedly as he smoothed his thumb over Eddie’s cheek.

That was how a week and a half later Buck found himself trailing after Carla as she marched him and Eddie down to the first of Christopher’s classrooms. Carla turned to pin both of them with her most professional look. “Okay, follow my lead and try to ignore these teachers’ corny jokes.” She turned back towards the doorway and stepped inside.

Eddie glanced at Buck with an expression that was akin to a startled deer and then back to Carla. “What jokes?”

Buck tried not to openly grimace at the absolutely awful jokes that they all heard in Christopher’s math and music classes- Buck and Eddie looking at each other in unison and hiding matching grimaces- and Buck could have slapped Eddie for _asking_ about jokes in Christopher’s science class. They were all sitting in Christopher’s English class, Eddie and Carla in the chairs across from the desk and Buck just sort of wandering around the room and looking at the projects on the wall. “Well, you weren’t kidding about the jokes,” Eddie muttered.

“Well,” Carla laughed brightly as she smoothed scuff off of her nail polish, “hopefully the English teacher has a better shtick.” Eddie snorted a little but didn’t have time to reply since the door was opening and Christopher’s English teacher was stepping inside.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said and gave Eddie and Carla a soft smile, obviously not having noticed Buck in the back of the room. “My last student’s father asked a surprising amount of questions.” Buck flicked his eyes over her and felt a small coil of jealousy settle in his stomach as he did. She was young and pretty and Buck immediately felt defensive as she stood across from Eddie with her hip cocked.

“I’m sure he did,” Buck said a little moodily, drawing the teacher and Carla’s attention.

“Good to see you again, Ms. Price,” the teacher said sweetly after breaking eye contact with Buck and held out her hand for Carla to shake. “And you must be Mr. Diaz.”

“Please call me Eddie. It’s-uh- short for-”

“Edmundo?” She guessed and Buck felt a small twitch of annoyance.

“Most people guess Eduardo,” Eddie said and cut a glance at Buck out of the corner of his eye. Buck sent him a flat look in return. He didn’t really need to be reminded of how much he’d made an idiot out of himself on Eddie’s first day at the station.

“Growing up I had a grandfather named Edmundo,” she explained, “he was my favorite.” She gave Eddie a sweet smile, a soft scent almost like peaches catching Buck a little off-guard. “And who else do we have with us?” She turned her gaze from Eddie to Buck and Buck leaned over Eddie’s shoulder to offer his hand.

“Evan Buckley, but everybody just calls me Buck.”

“The famous Buck,” she said and brightened up a little. “So nice to put a face to the name, Christopher talks about you all the time.” Buck cracked a small smile at that and then she sat down at her desk, opening up a file as she did so. Buck moved to lean his hip against Eddie’s chair. “So, let’s talk about Christopher.” Both Eddie and Buck straightened up in unison as her expression slipped into something more serious. “He’s been doing really well in my class, his verbal skills have definitely improved, he’s still a little shy about reading out loud but he definitely understands the material.” She gave Eddie a pleasant smile. “I attribute that to being read to from an early age. So, bravo there.”

“No, we have his mother to thank for that,” Eddie said and shifted in his seat.

“Christopher tells me you’ve kept it up, both of you, since she’s been gone,” she said and flicked her eyes over to where Buck was leaning against the chair with his hand on Eddie’s back and just listening intently. Though part of him was still caught up on the fact that she was so pretty and obviously into Eddie, at least a little if the way she was scenting the room was any indication.

“I try to do the voices but,” Eddie shrugged helplessly and Buck smoothed his thumb over Eddie’s shoulder soothingly, “she was better at it. And so is he.” Eddie turned to grin at Buck and Buck wrinkled his nose back at him.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re no slouch,” she assured Eddie.

“Oh no, he isn’t,” Carla broke in and Buck frowned at the innuendo in Carla’s voice. Was she… _encouraging_ Christopher’s teacher to flirt with Eddie? Buck tried not to let it prick at him, Carla didn’t know about him and Eddie, but it still did and he couldn’t help but push his scent forward just the smallest amount even as Eddie shot Carla an embarrassed look.

“Christopher is also one of our most popular students,” the teacher said as she shifted in her chair as she caught wind of Buck’s smell. “He loves making the other kids laugh.”

“Is that a problem?” Eddie asked and there was a tension in his shoulders.

“Not at all. He’s a very sweet and kind boy.” She pinned Eddie with her big doe eyes. “You’re doing a _great_ job.”

The tension left Eddie’s shoulders and he leaned back in his chair, obviously relieved. “Thank you.” He turned his back up to Buck to give him that winning smile of his that he shared with Christopher, and Buck just grinned back at him easily. They finished up the rest of their meeting after Eddie and Carla asked some questions and when they were walking out Carla broke the silence.

“We gonna talk about that?” She asked and raised an eyebrow in Eddie’s direction.

“That I’m basically raising a funny, popular, young genius?” Eddie asked and there was a slight spring to his step at knowing that Christopher was doing really well in school across the board that had Buck stifling a laugh.

Carla laughed and shook her head. “There’s a pretty young thing for an English teacher.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed and they stopped walking, Buck feeling his whole body tense up. “Was she pretty? I didn’t really notice.” He shrugged it off but it didn’t help to sweep away the jealousy that had once again taken up residence in Buck’s stomach.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I must have you confused with someone who couldn’t stop gazing into Ms. Flores’s big blue eyes,” Carla pointed out.

“I mean I guess they were pretty,” Eddie shrugged off the comment and ducked his head, shooting Buck a sidelong glance. Carla glanced between the two of them awkwardly and Buck couldn’t help but blush. Ms. Flores’s eyes were brown, not blue. Buck cleared his throat and clapped a hand down on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Well, Christopher has certainly earned that ice cream we promised him,” Buck said and gave Eddie a friendly shake. Eddie nodded and he wrapped his arm around Buck’s waist easily. “We’ll talk to you later, right, Carla?”

Carla just hummed as she watched the two of them thoughtfully.

Eddie steered them toward his truck and Buck couldn’t help but hold onto Eddie just a fraction tighter. Eddie had just closed the door of his truck when Buck hooked a finger in the collar of Eddie’s shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. He hummed softly in the back of his throat as he coaxed Eddie’s mouth open and tugged gently at Eddie’s shorter hair. Buck had never told Eddie, but he’d been a little disappointed when Eddie had decided to keep his hair short. It wasn’t that it looked bad, but Buck had liked Eddie’s hair the way it was.

Eddie pulled back and his face was flushed and his lips swollen. “What was that for?” Eddie asked and smoothed his thumb over Buck’s cheek tenderly.

“Nothing,” Buck said and ducked in to press another quick kiss against Eddie’s mouth. “Just- just because I wanted to.” Eddie’s eyes softened and he pressed their foreheads together for a moment before pulling back to start the truck. Buck shifted in his seat restlessly and he couldn’t help but still feel the remnants of jealousy. “Eddie, I know we talked about taking it slow and seeing how things worked out but… I really want you to fuck me when we get back to your place.”

Eddie almost didn’t stop at the red light that was in front of them and when he did it was a hard stop that had both of them lurching forward in their seats. “Fucking hell, Buck,” Eddie swore and turned to look at him with a crease in his brow. “What brought this on?”

Buck worked his jaw and he just shrugged his shoulders despite knowing that Eddie would see through his feeble attempt at a lie.

“Buck… come on, talk to me,” Eddie said and reached out to put a hand on Buck’s thigh before focusing on the road as the light turned green.

“I don’t know,” Buck hedged as he covered Eddie’s hand with his own. “I guess I just… Iwasalittlejealous.” Buck said it all in one breath but Eddie’s surprised look told Buck that Eddie had heard and understood exactly what he said.

“Evan,” Eddie said and he only used Buck’s given name on very rare occasions, “there is no reason for you to be jealous. I wasn’t even looking at her- I mean I was but only because she was talking to me and it wasn’t like _that_.”

“I know,” Buck sighed and slumped down in his seat. “You didn’t even remember what color her _eyes_ were, Eds.” Buck let out a short huff of laughter and Eddie rolled his eyes. “But… I guess it was weird to see her flirting with you and for Carla to encourage it and trying to get you to flirt back.”

“I’m not going to flirt with her- Carla trying to persuade me or not- because I’m with you, Buck. That’s not nothing. Not to me,” Eddie said and he smoothed his thumb over the fabric of Buck’s pants.

“I know that. Logically, of course I do, but there was just- I don’t know, Eddie. It’s like that time that frat boy kept trying to get my number and you got all jealous and squirrely even though I was ignoring him.” Eddie’s hackles rose the slightest bit just at the mention of the incident that had happened a little less than a month ago.

“He was just one of those big, dumb alphas that didn’t know how to take no for an answer,” Eddie said through clenched teeth.

“And I think she was one of those soft and pretty omegas that can recognize the perfect alpha when she sees it,” Buck pointed out. He didn’t like being jealous. He thought it made him seem too clingy or possessive or a whole list of other bad qualities, but this time he just couldn’t help it. The animal part of his brain was screaming _WARNING! INCOMING THREAT!_ and he couldn’t turn it off.

Eddie was quiet for a long time before he put both hands on the wheel and turned down the familiar street to the Diaz household. “You’re sure about this?” Eddie asked as he pulled into the drive and threw the truck into park. He turned to look at Buck and Buck nodded under Eddie’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Yeah, Eddie,” Buck said and he leaned in to kiss him softly. “I’m not sure about a lot of things, but I’m always sure about you.” Buck couldn’t help but feel his heart pick up as Eddie’s eyes went soft around the edges in that way that never failed to make Buck fall just a little bit more in love with him.

“Okay,” Eddie said and kissed him before he pulled away so he could get out of the car and cross around to open Buck’s door for him. Buck smiled and slipped his hand into Eddie’s. Eddie tugged him towards the front door and only dropped Buck’s hand so that he could unlock the door and let them in. Christopher was at a sleepover with Denny at Hen and Karen’s, which left the two of them alone. “C’mere you,” Eddie said and tugged Buck in by his beltloops once they were inside the door.

Buck stepped into Eddie’s space easily despite the thrill of anticipation that ran down his spine and settled low in his stomach. He curled his fingers into his Eddie’s shirt and leaned down to kiss him leisurely. Eddie turned them and pressed him back against the wall and pinning him there with his hips. Buck let out a soft whine as Eddie nipped at his bottom lip sharply before gentling his kisses to soothe the sting.

“Eddie,” Buck breathed out and plucked at Eddie’s collar restlessly.

“Alright,” Eddie said soothingly as he moved to press kisses down Buck’s neck. “I’m right here, Buck. And I’m yours.” Buck’s fingers tightened against Eddie’s shirt before letting go again so he could tip Eddie’s head back so he could kiss him again. Kissing Eddie always felt like a new thrill despite knowing the little nuances of Eddie by now. They moved easily together down the hall to Eddie’s bedroom and out of habit, Eddie closed the door most of the way with his foot- leaving it open just a crack like he always did in case Christopher needed something- which made Buck laugh against his mouth. “What?” Eddie asked and Buck knew that he didn’t even think about the motion, just worked on muscle memory.

“Nothing,” Buck said and smoothed his hand down Eddie’s chest. “Although, now I’m thinking about getting all of this off.” Buck tugged at Eddie’s clothes and Eddie gave him a sharp grin. He pulled away from Buck so he could strip his shirt off and Buck grinned as he admired Eddie’s body. He’d put on more muscle since the last time they’d slept together and Buck smoothed his hands over Eddie’s chest and stomach. He hooked his finger into the front of Eddie’s pants, making Eddie shudder a little, before he popped the button on Eddie’s jeans.

“Not fair,” Eddie mumbled against Buck’s mouth as he dove in for another kiss. “Getting me naked before you’ve even taken anything off.”

“Oh yeah?” Buck challenged and gave Eddie a smirk. “And what’re you going to do about it?”

Buck let out an undignified yelp as he was suddenly falling back against Eddie’s bed but it swiftly turned into a moan as Eddie settled into the cradle of Buck’s hips, arching against Buck in a way that had him lighting up with pleasure, although it wasn’t quite enough to do more than amp Buck up more. “Now who’s not being fair,” Buck huffed into Eddie’s mouth.

Eddie just nipped at Buck’s lip to help cover the smirk that Buck already felt pulling at his mouth. They both worked to peel Buck’s shirt off and toss the rest of their clothes into a heap beside the bed. Eddie’s hands smoothed over Buck’s skin with the same reverence as they had the first time and Buck couldn’t help but shiver a little at the contrast between the cool air and Eddie’s warm skin. Last time, Eddie had felt relatively cool due to his own climbing temperature during his heat, but now he could just appreciate the way Eddie felt normally instead of through a jumbled mess of memories.

Buck arched into Eddie as he felt his body responding to Eddie’s touch and getting him ready to take Eddie. The thought made his stomach flutter and he pressed even closer to the other. “I’ve got you,” Eddie said and despite the way that Buck could see the way Eddie’s muscles trembled a little in anticipation, he was steady. Just like he always was. Eddie reached down and gathered some of Buck’s slick- making the entire room smell like peppermint- to spread onto his fingers before tentatively pushing one in. “Relax, Buck. I’ve got you.” Eddie murmured something else that Buck thought might have been in Spanish but he was too distracted by the slow, methodical rhythm to translate in his head.

Soon enough he felt ready for another finger and he flexed his hips impatiently, knowing that Eddie would get the message. He just felt overwhelmed and like his voice wasn’t going to be strong enough for him to be able to finish any of his sentences. But Eddie just carefully slipped a second finger into Buck, brushing up against his prostate and making him shudder with how good he felt, and then a third when Buck’s body had adjusted.

Eddie made sure that he had enough lubricant before he lined his and Buck’s hips up and pressed into him slowly, taking his time and Buck was hyperaware of every point of contact between their two bodies. Eddie rocked his hips shallowly as Buck bit his own lip and fought to catch his breath. He’d been moaning and panting harshly and he vaguely worried that he was going to hyperventilate if he didn’t get a proper breath. “Breathe, Buck,” Eddie reminded him and stroked a soothing hand over Buck’s arm. “Breathe with me.” Eddie took a deep breath and let it out slowly until Buck’s breathing was closer to normal. “There you go.”

“Just -overwhelming,” Buck murmured and tipped Eddie’s head down so he could kiss him properly. He shifted his hips, making Eddie hiss a little at the shock that went through both of them, before he bit at Eddie’s jaw playfully. Eddie huffed out a breathy laugh before he bumped his nose against the side of Buck’s face and started moving.

Just like last time, their bodies fell into a natural rhythm- though this time it wasn’t ass urgent and desperate. Buck kissed Eddie as Eddie shifted their hips to get a better angle and Buck couldn’t help but dig his nails into where he’d been smoothing them down Eddie’s sides. Eddie let out a shocked gasp, but it wasn’t one of pain. Buck grinned a little before lightly dragging his nails over Eddie’s ribs. Eddie’s hips snapped into Buck’s almost without him realizing it and Buck let out a breathy moan that trailed off into a laugh.

“Menace,” Eddie muttered against Buck’s skin as he ducked his head to suck a mark into Buck’s neck. It was low enough that Buck could probably cover it with his uniform shirt. But maybe- just maybe- a part of him didn’t want to. He arched his hips higher and shuddered as Eddie brushed against his prostate again. He was just starting to contemplate what them finally coming clean about their relationship would mean when Eddie’s hand wrapped around his cock and all thoughts flew from his head. “I want you here with me,” Eddie grumbled against Buck’s jaw before kissing him firmly.

“’m right here,” Buck murmured against his mouth and ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “Promise.” Eddie just hummed and picked up the pace of his hips, adding more pressure to his strokes as he jerked Buck off. Buck felt his orgasm building quickly and he couldn’t help but squirm as Eddie kept him balanced on the edge for a few moments before letting him come. Buck squeezed his eyes shut as the air was knocked out of his chest by the force of it and he rode out the waves of pleasure that just seemed to never end.

Buck felt the moment that Eddie was teetering on the edge and Buck tilted his head so that he could kiss Eddie filthily and that was it. He stilled against Buck and made an almost broken noise into Buck’s mouth, Buck just continuing to kiss him through it until they were both too uncoordinated to do much more than just breathe each other in and brush their mouths together.

Buck knew that he was going to be sore tomorrow, but it was worth it. Being with Eddie just felt right and it had helped to soothe the strung pride that Carla pushing Christopher’s teacher at Eddie had caused. Eddie’s face was buried in his neck as Buck absently stroked his fingers through Eddie’s hair and down his back. He pressed a kiss against Eddie’s sweat-damp temple and hummed contentedly.

…..

Eddie had gotten them cleaned up and left Buck lazing in bed as he stumbled his way towards the kitchen to get them both some water to drink. He almost felt like he sweat more when he was having sex with Buck than when he’d been fighting. _Almost_.

He couldn’t help but admire the view of Buck sprawled out in his bed, naked and satiated, as he lingered in the doorway. Buck had turned over onto his stomach and his eyes were closed, but Eddie could tell that he wasn’t sleeping. Just comfortable. “I could get you some sweats to sleep in,” Eddie said and settled the water bottle on the bedside table as he laid down beside Buck and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

“I’m good, thanks,” Buck said around a yawn before he rolled onto his side so he and Eddie were facing each other.

“Feel better?” Eddie asked and picked at a loose thread on his sheets. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Buck being jealous. He knew that it didn’t come from a place of not trusting Eddie. Buck had said that it was just that animal part of his brain that neither one of them could control sometimes. But maybe it was just something Eddie hadn’t thought would be an issue and just was. He had trust issues aplenty- a fact that Buck was well aware of since Frank had recommended that Eddie open up to someone about his therapy- but he’d never thought they’d extend to Buck. He trusted Buck more than anyone else in his life. Hell, on the daily he trusted Buck _with_ his life. But this… this felt like something a little different.

Buck grimaced as he took in Eddie’s expression. “Yes, it did, but you’ve got the scrunched up nose. I’ve upset you.”

“What’re you talking about?” Eddie asked with a short laugh.

“You get this look on your face when you’re upset about something. Your nose scrunches up. It’s kind of cute actually, just not when it’s directed at me,” Buck said and he shuffled a little closer to Eddie. “I don’t want you to feel like I just guilted you into sex, Eddie. Because that’s not what I meant I just-”

“No, no, no,” Eddie soothed and cradled Buck’s face in his palm. “I know that. I get that you needed to be grounded in something that’s just for us, that’s why I’m okay with what just happened. More than okay, actually. It was really great,” Eddie said with a grin that he just couldn’t help, but it made Buck crack a smile at least. “I just need you to know that you can trust me, Buck. Always.”

“I do,” Buck reassured him and leaned in to kiss him. “We’ve got each other’s backs, remember?” Buck brushed his nose against Eddie’s and Eddie felt his chest go all warm and syrupy.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and wrapped an arm around Buck’s waist to pull him in closer. He kissed the top of Buck’s head and after a while he could feel the way that Buck was slowly drifting off. Eddie wrangled the sheets over them- knowing that if he didn’t that Buck was going to be cold- before finally letting his own exhaustion catch up with him and pull him down into sleep.

…..

It wasn’t long after the Parent-Teacher Night that Eddie got a call on his day off that Carla had had to take Christopher to the nurse’s office. Despite her assuring him that Christopher was fine and that he didn’t need to come down the school, Eddie got into his truck and drove down to make sure that Christopher was okay. Carla and Ms. Flores were both standing just outside the nurse’s office when Eddie stepped out into the courtyard.

“Carla!” Eddie called and frowned a little. “What the hell happened?”

“I told you that Christopher is fine. You didn’t have to come down here,” Carla said and she pushed her scent forward to try and calm Eddie down, but it only served to make him worry more because of her trying to comfort him and the fact that Christopher wasn’t by her side. “It’s just some scrapes and bruises.”

“He hurt himself?” Eddie asked softly and then he turned to look at Ms. Flores a lot sharper than he’d intended to. “How?”

“Well, it turns out that Christopher and skateboards don’t get along very well,” Carla said and it was obviously meant to be light and joking, but it only served to rile Eddie up as he imagined everything that could have happened.

“You let him skateboard?” Eddie asked Ms. Flores pointedly.

“I am so sorry, Mr. Diaz,” she said and ducked her head a little at Eddie’s obvious displeasure. “We didn’t know that one of the kids had brought a skateboard.”

“You didn’t _know_?” Eddie asked with a pointed look. “He could have broken his neck.”

“I know,” she said softly and shook her head. “And I feel terrible. The other kids were showing him how to ride it and they didn’t know that-”

“Didn’t they?” Eddie snapped and he felt his hackles raise in defense of his son. “No, let’s push the kid with CP around on a skateboard for fun. Hey, you let them make a fool out of my son!” Eddie snapped and took half a step forward.

“Eddie!” Carla said disapprovingly.

“I- I promise you that’s not what happened here,” Ms. Flores said with a slightly uncomfortable expression.

Eddie didn’t have the opportunity to response because the door to the nurse’s office was opening and Christopher was walking out with a soft whine and all Eddie’s attention was on his son. “Christopher,” Eddie said and he knelt down in front of his boy to assess his injuries. “Hey,” he said soothingly and his hands fluttered almost nervously as he took in the scrapes down Christopher’s arm and the blood staining his pant leg. Christopher had fallen hard enough to rip straight through his uniform pants and Eddie felt something sharp lodge itself in his chest as he felt Christopher’s pain echoing through their bond. “Oh my G- are you okay?” Eddie asked softly and put his hands on Christopher’s shoulders as lightly as possible.

“I’m sorry about my clothes,” Christopher said and Eddie just shook his head.

“No, don’t worry about that,” Eddie said and smoothed his hand over Christopher’s curls.

“I can run to the house, get some clean clothes for him to change into,” Carla offered.

“No,” Eddie said firmly. “We’re done for the day.” Eddie lifted Christopher up and cradled him against his chest like he was still small enough to fit there. “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“But school isn’t over,” Christopher protested and pushed back from Eddie’s chest so that he could look his father in the eye before ducking down to press his face into Eddie’s neck.

“It is now,” Eddie said and glared between Carla and Ms. Flores as he cradled the back of his son’s head. He felt Carla’s presence at his back but he ignored that in favor of focusing on Christopher and what he needed right now.

Back at the house, Carla fixed Christopher some lunch while Christopher changed out of his dirty and ripped clothes and into something softer and clean and Eddie was on the phone with Principal Summers. Eddie tried to keep his head, and for the most part he did since the initial spike of anger and fear had died down, but it was hard when Carla started to give him an earful about the way he was- as she implied without actually saying it- coddling Christopher. He stomped out of the kitchen and into the dining room as Christopher was pulling himself up into a chair.

“Hey, buddy, how you feeling?” Eddie asked and moved Christopher’s crutches so that they wouldn’t fall onto the floor.

“Dumb,” Christopher muttered waspishly as he picked at the placemat in front of him.

“What?” Eddie asked, feeling a small crack in his heart at hearing how dejected Christopher sounded. “What are you talking about?”

“Everybody saw me fall,” Christopher said and grimaced with embarrassment.

“People fall, it happens,” Carla said as she stepped into the room and placed Christopher’s lunch in front of him before giving him a hug. “ _Nothing_ to be embarrassed about.”

Eddie hummed as he moved the glass of milk that Carla had brought closer to Christopher so that it was within Christopher’s reach. “That boy should have never pressured you into getting on that skateboard.”

“It was my idea.” Eddie blinked at the statement as it fell from his son’s mouth.

Eddie looked over at Carla, but Carla didn’t seem surprised. She just gave Eddie an ‘I told you so’ look before letting out a chuckle as Eddie tried to figure out what to say next. “It was your idea to get on the skateboard?”

“It was fun,” Christopher said brightly and then grimaced a little. “And then it wasn’t.”

“Chris, _why_ would you do that?” Eddie asked and he couldn’t fathom what would make Christopher think it was okay, that it was safe. “You had to know it would be dangerous.”

“You- you always said I could do anything,” Christopher said and then he turned away from Eddie with a frown and shook his head. “You- you _lied_.”

It felt like a knock-out punch to the chest to hear the accusation in Christopher’s tone. Eddie tried- and failed- to come up with something to say, but Christopher didn’t seem particularly keen to talk any more about what had happened so Eddie just leaned in to press a kiss to his son’s curls and leave him to finish his lunch.

It didn’t help that when they were on shift together, Buck decided to tease him about the whole thing- Eddie kicking himself for telling Buck about biting Ms. Flores’s head off before he knew exactly what had happened with Christopher and the skateboard- in front of not only the team but the girl they were trying to get unstuck from the window she was wedged in. It also didn’t help the Buck seemed to take too much excitement from Eddie’s misstep in front of the English teacher. It was probably just the lingering remnants of Buck’s earlier jealousy, but it was embarrassing nonetheless when the rest of the team started asking Eddie about Ms. Flores.

“So what’s with this cute English teacher situation?” Hen asked as she and Chim flopped down on either side of Eddie as he was trying to read a book on the couch. Eddie gave her the stink-eye out of the corner of his eye before shaking his head.

“There is no cute English teacher situation,” Eddie muttered. “I’m not dating my son’s teacher.”

“But if she wasn’t his teacher?” Chimney wheedled and Eddie snapped his book shut irritably.

“Why is everyone so interested in my dating life all of a sudden?” Eddie snapped. When he glanced up and saw Buck grinning at him in amusement, he decided to play a little underhanded and throw his boyfriend under the bus. “Buck’s single too, and he’s actually _interested_ in being set up.” Eddie waved his hand at Buck and Buck shot him a betrayed look as Hen and Chim’s attention turned to him.

_All’s fair in love and war_ Eddie thought to himself as he cracked open his book as Chim and Hen started grilling Buck about his dating life.

…..

Buck had noticed that Eddie was a little off during their date. He figured it was just because of everyone pushing him about dating when they were keeping everything covert, but then he opened up and told Buck about what Christopher had said. Bucked sighed heavily before grabbing them both a beer and sliding Eddie’s to him. “Pretty sure all kids call their parents liars at some point.”

“Yeah… well,” Eddie muttered as he twisted the cap off of his beer. “It feels a little different when you hear it coming out of your kid.”

Buck gave Eddie a soft smile. “Just wait ‘til he gets to the ‘I don’t have to do what you tell me’ phase,” Buck teased as he twisted the cap off of his beer and took a drink.

“Aren’t you still in that phase?” Eddie teased back and Buck just grinned as he swallowed his drink. “The thing is…” Eddie trailed off and shook his head, “he’s right. I lied to him. Or maybe I lied to myself?” Eddie shook his head, face scrunched up in that way when he was about to start beating himself up about something. “Either way I feel like a fool. I spent years trying to convince my kid to believe in the Easter Bunny but now I’ve got to tell him none of it’s real.”

Buck blew out a breath- and everyone said _he_ was the dramatic one. “Yeah, I think you might be overcorrecting here.”

“I told him he’s no different than any other kid, but he is. He has CP.” Eddie lifted his hand in a shrug. “There’s a lot he can’t do.”

Buck took a breath and then it occurred to him- a way to help Eddie understand that this may not be as bad as he was making out to be. “Have you ever heard of Jim Abbott?” Buck asked, knowing that with Eddie being a baseball fan he probably had.

“Baseball player?” Eddie asked and Buck hummed in confirmation.

“Pitched a no-hitter in the 90’s- which in itself is pretty crazy but it’s even crazier if you know that Jim Abbott was only born with one hand.” Eddie looked Buck, obviously intrigued, so Buck continued. “Yeah, really. I read his book when I was in the hospital.”

“Okay…” Eddie said and narrowed his eyes a little as he slowly was starting to catch on to what Buck was getting at. “How’d he do it?”

“He practiced switching his glove to his throwing hand relentlessly so that he could field after he pitched,” Buck explained with a soft smile.

Eddie let out a short laugh. “I like the positivity,” Eddie said before taking a long breath. “I’m just not sure how any amount of practice is going to help Chris stay on a skateboard.” Eddie looked down at the table and Buck felt his mouth twist down into a frown. They might not be sure, but Buck was determined to try and find something if it was out there. And if there wasn’t, well… he and Eddie would just figure something out on their own.

…..

Eddie walked out of the kitchen with two mugs, two bowls, and a jug of orange juice balanced in his arms. “Chris! Come on, buddy. Need to eat something before school.”

“I don’t feel well,” Christopher said and Eddie turned to see Christopher still in his pajamas.

“You sick?” Eddie asked with a slight frown as he finished putting everything out onto the table. Christopher just avoided his eyes and nodded. Eddie looked him over and he seemed perfectly fine, so he hummed a little skeptically. “You sure?” Eddie asked as he put the back of his hand to Christopher’s forehead.

“I don’t wanna go.”

“Okay,” Eddie said and he lifted Christopher up and carried him over to the couch. He got Christopher settled and sat across from him on the coffee table so that Christopher would have to look at him while they talked. “You still upset about the other day?”

“I just want to be like everyone else,” Christopher said quietly and shrugged a little.

“I know,” Eddie said and put a hand on Christopher’s knee. “But you’re not.” There was no way that this conversation wasn’t going to be tough. “I know I told you you could do anything- and that was a _dumb_ thing for me to say.”

“Because I have CP?” Christopher asked quietly.

“No,” Eddie said firmly and kept his eyes on his son’s face steadily. “Because- well- nobody can do everything. And yes… there are things in life that you’re not gonna be able to do. And there’s other stuff that you are gonna be able to do, but it’s gonna be a lot harder than it is for the other kids because you have CP.”

“Sorry,” Christopher said and ducked his head. “I won’t skateboard again.”

“It’s not about the skateboarding,” Eddie assured him. “I just don’t want you to be scared.” And Eddie meant it, though he wished that Christopher hadn’t scared _him_ so much either. “You tried something and it didn’t work out, maybe the next time it does.”

“But _you_ can skateboard,” Christopher pointed out and Eddie had to find a way to loop the conversation back around to what he was really trying to get across to his son.

“Uh… you know what I can’t do?” Eddie asked.

“Cook?” Christopher suggested and Eddie let out a laugh as Christopher grinned at him.

“Hey, that’s not nice,” Eddie said through his laughter. “But, probably true.” There was a reason that Abuela didn’t let him help out in the kitchen and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was a man or the fact that he was an alpha. “I have a black thumb. I have killed every plant that has ever been given to me. But your science teacher told me that you did the best job out of your whole class growing plants from seeds. So there’s something you’re better at than me,” Eddie pointed out and he couldn’t help but smile at the dawning realization on his son’s face.

“Really?”

“Really,” Eddie nodded. “I don’t want you to ever stop trying. “But maybe… until you get a little older- maybe we try new things together, okay?”

“Okay,” Christopher agreed with a small smile.

“You’re not like any other kid,” Eddie said softly and cradled Christopher’s face between his hands. “You’re _my_ kid. I love you more than anything in this world.”

“I love you too, Dad,” Christopher said and stood up to hug Eddie. Eddie pressed a kiss against the side of Christopher’s head before patting his back.

“Alright, go grab some cereal so that we can get you ready to go to school- that is, if you’re not too sick,” Eddie said and poked at Christopher’s ribs playfully. Christopher let out a squeaky little laugh at the tickling before batting Eddie’s hands away and grabbing his crutches. He finished up the dishes as Christopher changed into his uniform and then Eddie was dropping him off and heading into work. He’d hardly gotten his foot in the door before Buck was bouncing up to him with a stack of papers in his hands.

“I had an idea after we talked the other night,” Buck said and he fell into step with Eddie as Eddie made his way into the locker room to get dressed for his shift.

“Oh yeah? About what?” Eddie asked and tugged his shirt off over his head. Buck was quiet and Eddie turned to look at him only to find Buck distractedly staring at his bare torse. “Hey, Buck,” Eddie said and snapped his fingers in front of Buck’s face. “My eyes are up here,” Eddie teased and Buck’s cheeks turned red.

“ _Right_ , I was thinking about what you said about Christopher and skateboarding,” Buck said and he held out the papers for Eddie to look at. “He might not be able to do it with just practice, but maybe there’s another way.”

Eddie took the papers from Buck’s fingers, leaning his hip against the lockers as he skimmed over what looked to be instructions. When he got to the last couple of diagrams, he felt a small smile tug at his mouth. It was a harness to help keep Christopher upright as he tried skateboarding. “Buck…”

“I know that you might not be into it since Christopher got hurt the last time, but these are safe I swear. I did a lot of research online and I actually have a few ideas on how to reinforce-”

“Buck, this is amazing,” Eddie said and he wanted to kiss Buck so badly. “Thank you,” he said and put a hand to Buck’s waist. Buck leaned into the touch with a huge grin.

“Anything for Christopher,” Buck said earnestly and ducked his head a little.

“I love you.” It slipped out of Eddie’s mouth before he could overthink it or think about how it would affect their budding relationship. They’d said they were taking it slow, but Eddie just couldn’t hold it in- he didn’t want to.

“Yeah?” Buck asked and took a slight step forward so that they weren’t that far apart.

“Yeah, Buck,” Eddie said and smoothed his thumb over the curve of Buck’s hipbone.

“Good, because I love you too, Eds,” Buck said and ducked in to give Eddie a quick peck since there was no one around. “Now get dressed, we’ve got work to do.” Buck smacked Eddie’s side with the back of his hand before stepping out of Eddie’s reach. Eddie just let out a laugh as he tucked the papers into his locker for safe-keeping and finished changing into his uniform.

It took them a few days to put it together and test it to make sure that it was going to be safe for Christopher to use since they’d done it themselves, but once they did, Eddie was thrumming with excitement to take Christopher to the skatepark- Carla and Buck going ahead of them with the harness so that they could surprise Christopher- and show off how they were going to do this together. And to see the way Christopher’s face lit up when Buck and Carla ripped the cover away- Eddie would never forget it.

It was hours of Buck and Eddie helping to steer Christopher wherever he wanted to go with Carla taking pictures and recordings as she followed behind them. He couldn’t help but look between the two people he loved most in the world and just soak in both of their palpable happiness. If Eddie could have frozen those moments so that he could live in them forever, he would have, but then it was getting dark and Christopher was getting tired so they packed it all up and headed home.

**_From: Carla_ **

_I thought you might want to have some of these pictures framed. This one is my favorite in particular_ _😉_

Attached to the text was a picture of the three of them. Christopher was mid-laugh and Buck was grinning at Chris in that way that never failed to make Eddie melt a little, but Eddie… Eddie was just staring at Buck and there was no way to describe it other than head-over-heels. It was all over his face. Other pictures came through but Eddie just kept looking at that one and rereading Carla’s unsubtle message.

“Who’s that?” Buck asked as he stepped out of Eddie’s bathroom from where he’d been grabbing a shower.

“Carla,” Eddie said as he tapped the picture to save it and then set it as the wallpaper on his phone. “Just sending the pictures and stuff that she took at the park.” Buck hummed and made his way over to flop inelegantly across Eddie’s lap, his curls still damp and slowly soaking the thigh of Eddie’s shorts. “Uh… I think she knows- about us, I mean. I think she’s guessed.”

“What makes you say that?” Buck asked and Eddie just tilted his phone down to show Buck the messages. Eddie could tell that Buck was choosing his next words carefully. “Is that a problem? That she knows?”

“No,” Eddie said but then he grimaced a little. “Maybe. I- I’m not ashamed of you- or our relationship-” Eddie was quick to assure as he smoothed his fingers through his hair. “But you know how everyone can be sometimes. I just- I want us to be able to just enjoy it before it becomes everybody else’s business. It’s something that’s just for us.”

Buck didn’t seem upset, he just nodded thoughtfully as he listened to Eddie’s explanation. “Eventually we’re going to have to tell everyone. Bobby’s got his suspicions and you know I can’t keep a secret from Maddie.” Eddie nodded. Buck had a hard time hiding anything from anybody really- he wore his heart on his sleeve so much of the time- but Maddie was a whole other level because she was his sister. “And if Maddie knows…”

“Then she tells Chim, Chim tells Hen, Hen tells Karen and Athena, and if Bobby doesn’t know then Athena will tell him,” Eddie finished succinctly.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Buck said and he reached up to brush his hands over Eddie’s cheek. “But if you’re not ready yet, that’s okay.”

“How’d I manage to get so lucky?” Eddie asked and pressed a kiss against Buck’s knuckles.

“It might have something to do with your impressive co-” Eddie shoved at Buck’s shoulders to effectively cut him off.

“Alright, moment ruined. Thanks, Buck,” Eddie said and Buck just laughed before hooking his arm around Eddie’s waist and tugging him down the bed so that he could pin Eddie with his weight.

“But you still love me?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said and nipped at Buck’s chin playfully. “I do.”

…..

Buck trotted down the stairs as Eddie went over to where Carla and Christopher were standing. They were talking about Christopher’s upcoming Show-and-Tell, which Buck had thought was a concluded issue since Eddie had finally caved and let Christopher get a hamster as a pet and it was the most exciting thing in Christopher’s life at the moment, but then Carla was handing over a box.

Eddie’s back went stiff as a board and his scent went stale around him. Buck frowned as he watched Eddie open up the box and saw the medal that was nestled inside. Buck had never pressed about Eddie’s past in the service simply because Eddie had never seemed like he wanted to talk about it.

Buck tried to make light of it, to help ease some of the tension in Eddie’s shoulders, by making a couple jokes and taking the box from Eddie’s hands to look at it. He’d never seen it. He’d always assumed that Eddie had left all his Army stuff with his parents since he didn’t want any parts of it.

“You sure this is what you want to bring to school on Friday?” Eddie asked and his discomfort was etched into every line of his body.

“And you could tell the story,” Christopher said and gave Eddie a big smile.

“Is that a story you can tell fourth graders?” Buck asked and leaned into Eddie’s side to try and help support him a little.

“Not really,” Eddie mumbled under his breath.

But Christopher was begging and Eddie, even though he was obviously uncomfortable with the idea, agreed with the promise to ‘figure something out’. Then the alarm went off and they were rushing out. Eddie was still tense as they drove out to their call, so Buck stretched out his leg and pressed his foot against Eddie’s. Eddie lifted his eye from where he’d been blankly staring at the tip of his boot and gave Buck a weak smile.

The second that the truck stopped they were in work-mode and focused on finding the missing boy- Hayden. Buck was wandering across the field and shouting for Hayden when he heard Eddie calling that he thought he’d found something. They cleared the debris and found an old well pipe, just like Athena and Bobby were worried about. A handful of minutes and a ton of equipment and they had eyes on Hayden and were strategizing on how the hell they were going to get him out.

It wasn’t going to be easy and it was certainly going to be risky, but drilling down and digging across to the pipe was the best chance that they had of getting to Hayden before he fell any further or the water started rising due to the incoming storm.

Buck was standing just a little ways away when Eddie volunteered to go down and he felt like he’d been doused in ice water despite already being soaked through by the cool rain that was pouring down on their heads. Buck understood Eddie’s logic, he’d been the one to talk to Hayden on the radio, but there was a lot that could go wrong. And they didn’t have the radios to communicate. Eddie was gearing up and Buck slipped into the tent and grabbed his arm. “What are you thinking? Eddie, you can’t go down there. You’ve got a kid.”

“I can do this,” Eddie said and he gently pried Buck’s fingers off of his arm. “You’ve just got to trust me.”

“I _do_ trust you,” Buck said he shook his head, “but it’s dangerous.”

“So is every other day,” Eddie insisted and Buck frowned as he watched the determined set of Eddie’s jaw. “I’ve got this,” he said and his tone was a lot softer this time.

“You come back to me, Eddie,” Buck said and tugged Eddie in by the strap of his harness. “You come back to me and Christopher. Promise.”

Eddie leaned in and gave Buck a quick kiss. “I promise.” He bumped his nose against Buck’s and Buck let out a shaky breath before stepping away- just in time because Bobby was coming in to see where they were at. Buck brushed past Bobby and back into the rain before their captain could ask him why he was in there.

Buck volunteered to work the winch. The uneasiness in his stomach was settled the tiniest bit by being Eddie’s connection to the surface. He was going to be at least forty feet underneath the ground and no matter how Buck tried to reassure himself that Eddie knew what he was doing, that Eddie could handle himself, it was still a terrifying thought.

A terrifying thought that became an actual nightmare when they lost the weight when they were pulling Eddie to the surface and found that Eddie had cut the line. Buck’s breathing hiccupped uncomfortably in his chest and he had to lean back against the truck to keep from falling over completely under the weight of knowing that Eddie was down there with no way to get back up.

Buck overheard Bobby telling Chim to suit up but Buck stormed over and grabbed Bobby’s shoulder. “Cap, I’m the one that should go down,” Buck said and when Bobby gave him a confused look, Buck wondered how the hell he was going to explain that Eddie being down there was driving him absolutely crazy with fear and only going down there himself to get him out was going to help soothe it.

“So we can end up with two cut lines?” Hen asked and Buck felt a snarl pulled from his chest at her sarcasm. Bobby looked between the two of them with concern but Chim was breaking in with their reestablished visual… which was now completely submerged. Buck clenched his hands tightly at his sides as he felt his heart hammering in his ears.

Chim immediately sprang into action and was suited up and ready to go down. Buck was on the winch again as they lowered Chim down slowly, wanting to give him time if there was something wrong to be pulled back up, and then there was a pause once he was at depth. It wasn’t long before there was a tug on the line and they were pulling Chim- with Hayden- back to the surface. Chim reassured them that Eddie was fine, just needed a line to be lowered for him to get back up, as Hen bundled Hayden up and escorted him and his mother to the side to check him out.

There was a flash and Buck looked up just in time to see a bolt of lightning hit the top of the drill. It started to tip and Buck noticed that Bobby was directly in its path. In a surge of adrenaline and protective instincts, Buck was sprinting to Bobby- shouting his name- and tackling him out of the way as the drill slammed into the ladder truck.

He lifted his head to survey the damage and was blinded by panic when he saw that the hole they’d dug to lower Eddie down was no longer there. “Eddie!” Buck shouted and scrambled over to where it had been- not even standing properly but fumbling on his hands and knees. “Eddie! No!! Eddie!”

Bobby was pulling him away and into his lap, calling his name and trying to get him to calm down, but Buck couldn’t think of anything except for Eddie buried under forty feet of mud and rock and water. He let out a sharp sob and leaned back into Bobby’s arms. Bobby hauled him to his feet and dragged him towards the house to rinse off the mud that was all over the both of them since they’d taken that dive straight into it and to give Buck the space to breathe and get his head back on straight. The warm water on his rain-chilled skin helped to ground him, but his protective instincts were still in attack-mode. He looked around at everyone after he’d asked how long Eddie could last and he saw the skepticism in everyone’s faces. And their pity.

“Wait,” Buck snarled and glared at all of them in turn, “you all think he’s dead.”

“Nobody thinks that,” Bobby said firmly and clapped a hand onto Buck’s shoulder which he viciously shrugged off.

“We just don’t know how to get him out,” Chim said and he didn’t attempt to touch Buck, something Buck was immeasurably grateful for because he wasn’t sure what he would have done if Chim had.

“Nobody’s giving up, Buck,” Hen promised. “Nobody.” She sent a protective glare to the firefighters from other stations that were lingering around them. “We’re gonna find him.”

Buck clenched his jaw and looked out over the muddy field. He was not going to go back to Eddie’s house and tell Christopher that his dad was gone. He didn’t care what he had to do, he wouldn’t have that conversation.

…..

Maybe it was the fact that Christopher had brought it up, but Eddie couldn’t help but think about his time in Afghanistan and everything that had led up to it. All the sleepless nights where he wondered if he was doing the right thing by enlisting, leaving Shannon pregnant and alone. All the fights about Eddie not telling Shannon about it until it was close to the day that he was slotted to ship out for bootcamp. All the nightmares of his first tour- only broken up by the shining memory of the day that Christopher was born and the week after where he would just stare at the beautiful boy that Eddie had somehow had a hand in creating as he tried to memorize every little detail before he had to leave again. He knew that he was going to miss some things, that Christopher was going to get bigger by leaps and bounds in the months that Eddie would be gone, but he was doing it to make sure that they’d have a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Then there was the fight with Shannon just after he’d reenlisted to try and provide for them a second time since they’d just been hit with the bombshell of Christopher’s CP diagnosis. Their shouting woke Christopher up and Eddie lifted his head from where he’d been banging it against the counter as he and Shannon had an angry staring contest.

“Christopher needs you,” she’s said with so much venom behind it. “Go get your son.”

Eddie had stalked down to the nursery, his scent acidic and stale around him like a smog, but once he’d stepped inside and Christopher’s wails starting to prick at his chest, he’d relaxed and moved into the nursery quickly to lift Chris from his cradle awkwardly and try to comfort him. But he didn’t know how. He’d rocked Christopher gently and when he spotted Shannon in the doorway he cast her a helpless look. “He wants you, not me.”

“You’re still a stranger to him but you don’t have to be. If you were home-” Shannon said firmly and Eddie shot her a dark look.

“Shannon!” It wasn’t exactly the best time to give him a lecture on the merits of bonding with his son. Christopher was miserable, big tears rolling down his cheeks as he grabbed at Eddie’s neck, and his discomfort and the confusing mix of his emotions were making Eddie’s head pound.

“Eddie, I don’t need a provider! I need a partner! You don’t know what it’s been like going through this alone.”

“You’re not the only one who feels alone!” Eddie snapped viciously as he tried to rock Christopher without hurting him or upsetting him more. “Come on, buddy,” Eddie said softly, a desperate edge to his tone. He didn’t know what to do and between the crap that was in his head and everything he was trying to deal with around him, he felt like he was drowning. It was like he was drowning and everyone around him was just watching. Shannon stormed out and Eddie called after her, but he knew that she wasn’t going to help him. He turned back to Christopher in his arms and shushed him gently. “No, it’s okay, buddy.” Eddie was doing his best at being soothing but Chris just continued to cry and clutch onto Eddie’s collar. “It’s alright,” Eddie said and his voice cracked a little at the end. “Kid, c’mon, please give Daddy a break.”

It wasn’t long after that night that Eddie was slotted to ship out. Shannon had barely spoken to him for a week leading up to him leaving and Eddie tried to spend as much time as he could with Christopher, but Christopher didn’t know him- just like Shannon had said- and didn’t seem comfortable with him. It broke Eddie’s heart, but he knew that he had to provide for Christopher and the Army was the only way he knew how.

Eddie never tried to poke at the memories of the night his chopper had gone down, but with all the noises and flashes of distorted light that happened as the tunnel collapsed around him- thankfully after Chim and Hayden were safely out- it was hard not to think of it. To relive the night that he’d nearly died before he’d ever really gotten to know his beautiful, perfect boy. He was thrown around and for a moment he thought that he was still in Afghanistan. He fumbled for his radio and tried to call for help, calling himself _Diaz_ at first in his disorientation before he grounded himself and forced himself to remember that he wasn’t in Afghanistan, he was in L.A. and _nobody_ called him Diaz.

He let out a harsh breath and tried to think, but the only thing that came to mind was the day that his parents had sat him down and tried to take Christopher away from him. His father’s words ricocheted in his skull.

_You’re in over your head, Edmundo_.

He let out a slightly hysterical laugh as he realized that his father was right. Literally. Eddie was buried under nearly fifty feet of rock and mud with the water beneath him rising every second he was down there. Eddie let out another huff of laughter as he imagined his father’s face when he realized that he’d been right, just not exactly the way he’d thought.

He pushed himself up, his body screaming in protest after the beating it had taken, and he started searching for a way out. He’d made a promise and until he was sure that there were no connecting tunnels, he was going to fight to keep it.

Eddie was thankful for the oxygen tank that Bobby had insisted on as he realized that the only way he was going to be able to get out of this was to swim God only knew how far to where the water had to drain somewhere else. Eddie sent up a quick prayer before he submerged himself in the water, shivering at how goddamn _cold_ it was, and started swimming along the natural tunnel that he’d found.

His oxygen was running out, he could feel it in the way that the tank was slowly pushing less and less into his lungs. When the indicator turned red, Eddie shed the extra weight of the tank which would only slow him down, and pushed on. He felt himself drift as his lungs burned for relief, for a breath of oxygen that Eddie knew wasn’t coming, and his head got fuzzy. He heard Buck’s voice in his head from the day that had really started it all- _Whoa, you got a kid?_ \- and he knew that he was getting delirious from oxygen deprivation but it was nice to think about Buck in that moment. He’d never really believed in the whole ‘life flashes before your eyes’ thing, but when his eyes slipped shut all he could see were all the best moments with Christopher and Buck and the rest of the 118. His family. The family and the pack that he’d created for himself when he’d left Texas behind to try and find some room to breathe.

_Eddie, Christopher needs you_.

Shannon’s voice, a memory from that awful fight after Chris’s diagnosis but before his second tour, snapped him out of it. Even though his head and chest were pounding hard enough that he felt they were going to crack open, he made himself move and follow the tunnel just a little further. Because he’d promised Shannon that he would always fight to return to his family, and he’d promised Buck that he would come home to him and Christopher. He was kicking as hard as he could and before he knew it there was a weird distortion in the water and he was breaking through to the surface.

He gasped and sputtered as oxygen finally rushed back into his lungs. He felt himself gag with the force of it and he scrambled to get his helmet off his head since the strap was digging into his chin and making it worse. He dragged himself over to the shore and just let himself breathe and choke on the water that was forcing itself out of his lungs and his stomach.

He clutched at the tangles of weeds that were underneath his hands. The tears in his eyes weren’t just from the force of him puking up what felt like ten gallons of water. It was relief. He was going to be able to see his son again. He wasn’t going to miss out on Show-And-Tell on Friday. He rolled over so that he didn’t collapse into the mix of water and stomach bile and let out a short puff of laughter. Then he felt a sharp tug in his gut and a sense of urgency in the back of his head.

_Buck._

…..

Buck could hardly think with how his mind was buzzing. A little while ago, he’d felt like someone had hollowed him out, the sharp ache of it had nearly doubled him over as he had been going to get some equipment on the truck- and it scared him. He didn’t know what it meant. Other than he needed to find Eddie and find him now.

Bobby and the other captain were explaining the plan of using thermal imagining and a specific search pattern to pick up Eddie’s heat signature to the group of assembled LAFD and LAPD personnel. “Won’t be easy,” a scratchy but familiar voice said from the back of the assembled people. They parted and Buck lurched forward as he caught sight of a familiar figure despite all the grime that was covering him. “I’m pretty cold,” Eddie joked weakly.

“Eddie!” Buck said and he took off towards him. Eddie collapsed into the ground hard and Buck just slid on his knees so he could get his hands underneath Eddie’s arms, Bobby quickly joining him to help Buck get Eddie to his feet.

“Get him up,” Bobby said and together they got Eddie to his feet- Buck clutching desperately onto Eddie’s arm and his hand- and Hen came over.

“Let’s get you checked out, buddy, so we can get you home,” she said and Buck just scanned over Eddie’s face. He was covered in muck and blood and it was hard to tell if he was hurt badly or just had a few bad scrapes on his face.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and he slumped into Buck’s chest as he struggled to catch his breath. “Got a big date Friday. Can’t miss it.”

Buck let out a watery laugh as he tucked himself in closer to Eddie to help prop him up. He, Hen, and Bobby all worked to slowly get Eddie over to the ambulance where Chim was waiting with warming blankets and a full work-up with Eddie’s name on it. Buck helped them clean him up as best as they could and despite knowing that he was in their way, they didn’t tell him to move as they checked Eddie over.

“You are a real piece of work, you know that?” Buck asked and stroked his hand through Eddie’s muddy hair. Eddie just hummed and leaned into Buck’s touch. “You scared the shit out of me, Eddie.”

“Scared the shit out of myself,” Eddie mumbled from beneath the oxygen mask that Chim had put him on after they’d seen that his levels were low. “But I’m here. ‘M not going anywhere.”

“You better not,” Buck said and he didn’t care that Hen and Chim were still working Eddie over, he leaned down and pressed a kiss against Eddie’s forehead. Eddie tugged the mask off his face and hooked his finger into the collar of Buck’s turnout jacket. Buck kept it chaste and short before replacing the mask onto Eddie’s face. Eddie grumbled in protest, his eyes slipping shut tiredly, but Buck just put a placating hand to Eddie’s steadily rising and falling chest. “We’ve got time, Eds.”

The doors to the ambulance swung closed and then they were moving. Buck looked over at where Hen was putting a line of fluids into the back of Eddie’s hand. “We’re just taking him to the hospital as a precaution, Buck. You know the drill.” Chim assured him as he leaned over to clap a hand onto Buck’s shoulder. “He’s been through a hell of a night, just want to make sure he’s okay.” Buck just nodded and he shifted a little closer to Eddie and smoothed his hair back from his face again.

They wouldn’t let Buck go back with Eddie while they were doing their tests so Buck just sat down in the waiting room tiredly. He put his head in his hands and just tried to focus on breathing and remembering that Eddie was alive, he wasn’t buried anymore, he’d kept his promise to come back to them.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt someone touch his shoulder. “Just me,” Hen said calmly and pushed her scent forward to help soothe Buck’s raw nerves as she sat down beside him. “Didn’t think you should have to be here all alone.”

“Thanks, Hen,” Buck said. Neither of them said anything for a long time and Buck could tell that she had questions. She’d been with them in the ambulance. She’d seen him kiss Eddie. “Uh- I bet you’re wondering-”

“It’s none of my business until you want to tell me, Buck,” Hen reassured him and smoothed a hand over the back of his head. Buck took a breath, not sure what he was planning on saying, and let it out shakily before curling in on himself and resting his head on her shoulder. He knew it was childish, but he turned his face into her neck and just soaked in the comfort of her familiar, faintly floral smell. She pressed her thumb against the back of his neck and it helped to get him to relax.

That was until the nurse came out and called out Eddie’s name. Buck shot up and made his way over to listen as she told him about the scans they’d performed and the results. His heart was good, his lungs were clear, and he didn’t seem to have any broken bones. He had a minor concussion and a few lacerations but nothing that even required stitches. “So when can I take him home?” Buck asked and twisted the cuff of his turnout jacket between his hands.

“Once he signs the discharge paperwork, you two will be set,” the nurse said with a small smile. “I can take you back to see him if you want?”

Buck looked over his shoulder at Hen and she waved him off. “I’ll text you later and let everyone else know that he’s alright so they don’t bother you.”

“Thanks, Hen. I owe you one,” Buck said before following after the nurse as she led him into an exam room. “Hey,” Buck said softly as he caught sight of Eddie sitting up in bed.

“Hey yourself,” Eddie said and his voice was still raw from earlier, but he sounded a little better and the color was back in his cheeks.

“I feel like asking you how you’re feeling is bit of a stupid question,” Buck said and settled on the edge of Eddie’s bed so he could hold onto his hand, mindful of the IV that was still there.

“Maybe just a little,” Eddie murmured and he turned his hand over so he could lace his fingers through Buck’s. “But I’m good. Sore and tired- and freakin’ freezin’- but good.” Buck nodded and he leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

“Then let’s get you home. Get you cleaned up because if I’m being honest with you, Eds,” Buck said and he grinned at him as he pulled away. “You stink.”

Eddie laughed and he shoved at Buck’s chest. “You swim through forty feet of muck and drainage water and see how good you smell.”

“Nah, I think I’m good,” Buck said and gave him a quick kiss. “Now sign the damn paperwork,” Buck said and reached for the clipboard that held Eddie’s charts and his discharge paperwork. He handed it over and Eddie signed off on it. Not long after the nurse came in and took out Eddie’s IV and brought a wheelchair to walk him out. “Don’t even start whining, you know that it’s hospital policy,” Buck said before Eddie could even protest, which he obviously wanted to do with the way he was eying the chair.

Eddie just grumbled a little as he moved to settle in the chair. Buck smoothed his hair and Eddie tipped his head into the touch lightly before Buck let his hand drop so they could get out of there.

…..

Eddie was beyond exhausted after everything that happened, so he was understandably disgruntled when Buck insisted that he shower before he got into bed. “You’re still filthy, Eddie,” Buck murmured against his temple as he helped Eddie shuffle down the hall and into his bathroom.

Buck helped him get cleaned up- which was a little embarrassing but Buck insisted that he was too tired to be trusted not to slip and fall and crack his head open. And despite just wanting to get some sleep, he was relieved when all the grime was washed down the drain and he was wrapped up in a towel while Buck held onto him. He pressed his face against Buck’s neck and just breathed in Buck’s scent. It was muddled a little from his own thin layer of dirt and from the rainwater that still clung to him, but it was distinctly there.

“You should get cleaned up too. I can get dressed,” Eddie said and tilted his head to press a kiss against the underside of Buck’s jaw.

“Alright,” Buck said and he bumped their heads together before slowly easing back to make sure Eddie had his footing. Eddie shuffled into his room, yawning wide enough for his jaw to let out an audible pop, and dug around for some clothes. He pulled on a fresh set of underwear and a t-shirt before falling into bed. He was still cold but he didn’t want to bother with pants. He heard Buck’s disapproving noise not long after the sound of the water had turned off. Buck helped him into a set of sweats that he’d dug out from Eddie’s dresser before maneuvering Eddie under the covers instead of just laying on top of them. “There we go. Now get some sleep, Eddie.”

Eddie made a noise in the back of his throat and clumsily reached for Buck to try and keep him from pulling away. Buck just patiently tucked his arms back under the covers and gave him a kiss to the forehead, his scent pushing forward to help soothe him. “I’m just going to check on Christopher. I’ll be right back, Eds.” Eddie just nodded despite his instincts yelling at him to get up and go after Buck, to check in on his son himself, but his body was unresponsive. He was sure that he dozed off because it didn’t seem like any time had passed before the bed was dipping a little and Buck was sliding into bed with him. Buck didn’t say anything- most likely assuming that Eddie was still asleep- just tucked himself underneath Eddie’s chin and pressed his face into Eddie’s chest. Eddie lifted his arm and wrapped his around Buck’s shoulders, rubbing circles into the nape of Buck’s neck. It wasn’t long before he drifted off again to the sound of Buck’s breathing and the gentle thud of Buck’s heart against his stomach.

…..

There had been too many scares recently with the members of their team: first it had been Bobby’s potential radiation poisoning, then Eddie being buried alive and finally Athena almost being beaten to death by a suspect. Bobby was still shaken from them all listening to the call and since he wasn’t being allowed back until they were finished with all the tests, Buck couldn’t leave the hospital. He settled at Bobby’s side and he didn’t reach out, but he just let Bobby know that he was there.

“You can go home, Buck. I know it’s late and you’ve got to be tired,” Bobby said and it was just like Bobby to be worrying about everybody else before himself.

“I’m good, Bobby,” Buck said quietly and tried not to pick at his nails.

“But Eddie-”

“Will be fine without me for a couple hours,” Buck said easily, not even the slightest bit embarrassed with Bobby openly talking about his and Eddie’s relationship. No one had brought it up after the accident in respect for Buck and Eddie’s privacy- which they were both thankful for. “Besides, it’ll be a while before Michael can get May and Harry here and I’m sure they’re going to need someone to watch out for them while you and Michael look after Athena.”

Bobby’s eyes were wet when he finally looked over at Buck and nodded at him. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m finally earning the Big Brother card that May keeps teasing me about,” Buck joked and nudged Bobby with his elbow. May had joked that since Bobby was basically Buck’s dad that made her and Harry his younger siblings and that he needed to set a better example as their de facto big brother. Buck couldn’t help but take it a little seriously since he’d never had any younger siblings- he didn’t want to screw it up and make Bobby and Athena regret trusting him with their kids.

“You’re good with them,” Bobby said earnestly. “And I’m glad that I know they’ve got one more person looking after them.”

“We’re family, Bobby. Always will be,” Buck promised and he put a tentative hand on Bobby’s shoulder.

The Grant kids seemed pretty shaken up when Michael arrived and Buck tried to distract them as best he could- May with questions about her upcoming prom and Harry about the newest video game- while Michael and Bobby talked with the doctors and Bobby filled Michael in on what happened. Buck gave Harry money to get Bobby a coffee- with extra for a hot chocolate for himself- and when Harry was out of earshot, May took hold of Buck’s arm.

“How is she really? I know you probably didn’t want to scare Harry but I can handle it,” May said and the determined glint in her eyes reminded Buck a lot of Athena.

“She’s beaten up pretty bad, but it wasn’t anything super serious. I’ve definitely seen much worse,” Buck said and covered May’s hand with his own. “It’ll probably be a long recovery, but she’s okay. Your mom’s tough as hell.”

“Yeah, she is,” May said and she let her forehead rest on Buck’s shoulder for a minute. “But you know…” May trailed off with a mischievous grin, “she’s also- technically- your mom too, since you’ve decided to accept that you’re Harry and I’s big brother.”

“I’m pretty sure if I called Athena ‘mom’, she’d demote me to calling her Sergeant Grant for the rest of my life,” Buck said and pulled a face.

May put on a thoughtful expression and then nodded sagely. “Probably.” Buck let out an indignant noise and May clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle it. He licked her palm in retaliation and she squealed in disgust before wiping it off on his uniform shirt. “Ugh, brothers are _so_ gross.”

“Well, Harry you’re stuck with, but you _picked_ me,” Buck pointed out playfully and she scowled at him.

“I’m regretting that,” May said flatly and Buck couldn’t help but laugh at how much she sounded like her mom. “I’m telling Bobby to pick his strays more carefully next time.”

“My _what_?” Bobby asked and looked between the two of them with an amused frown as Michael watched them over Bobby’s shoulder.

“Buck licked me,” May said and shot Buck an accusatory look.

“Uh- because you covered my mouth with your hand,” Buck argued and tugged at a strand of her hair. “What if I couldn’t breathe?”

“Ew, you _breathe_ through your _mouth_? God only knows how Eddie finds you attractive if you breathe through your mouth.”

“I am _not_ a mouth-breather!”

“You _just_ said-”

“No I didn’t, I said _what if_ -”

“Children, behave,” Bobby said after a moment of their squabbling. Both of them glared at each other for a moment before breaking out into grins and shoving at each other playfully. Harry came back and handed Bobby his coffee and settled with his own cup of hot chocolate which he graciously shared with May despite the threat of cooties since she was a girl- Harry’s words not Buck’s. Buck knew that there was going to be a rough patch ahead for the Grant-Nash family with Athena being in the hospital, but he was sure that they were going to be okay.

Buck checked his watch and grimaced. “I should probably go. Chris is going to kill me if I don’t save him from Eddie’s attempt at cooking breakfast.” Buck stood and gave May and Michael hugs before ruffling Harry’s hair and giving Bobby a small smile. Bobby pulled him into a tight hug that spoke volumes, both of them scenting the other, before pulling away with a sharp pat on the back. “Tell ‘Thena I said I hope she starts feeling better soon.”

Of course, the final shitstorm came in the form of a train derailment.

Well, for Buck it technically started before the train derailment.

He and Eddie had been having a quiet night in- Buck spending the night so that the two of them could drop Christopher off at school together before going into the station for their shift- after Christopher had been tucked in. They’d been watching a movie when Eddie had suddenly paused the movie and shifted so that he was facing Buck. “What’s going on?” Buck asked as he felt Eddie’s nervous energy buzzing in the back of his head faintly.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Eddie said and he rubbed the back of his neck. Buck watched Eddie fidget for a moment before he shuffled a little closer and slipped his hand into Eddie’s.

“You know you talk to me about anything, Eds,” Buck said and smoothed his thumb over the ridge of Eddie’s knuckles. Eddie nodded and he gave Buck a grin that made Buck’s stomach flip-flop around in the best way.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and he lifted Buck’s hand up to press a quick kiss to the back of it. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something important. I-uh- I know we’ve not been dating very long, but I love you, Buck. And I know for a fact that you’re it for me.” Buck felt a flicker of something that he couldn’t quite pin down as he realized where Eddie was going with this. “You’re already part of this family- I just want to make it official.”

“Eddie…” Buck said and he wasn’t sure where to start. The only person he’d ever really thought about settling down with had left him and never come back without a single word. He wasn’t sure he was ready for this yet. This type of commitment- while not completely unbreakable- was serious. Severing a bond once it was made was a difficult process both mentally and physically. Buck didn’t really have any reason to think that he’d want to leave Eddie, or really that Eddie would want to leave him, but he still had lingering fears in the back of his mind. “I- I can’t.” Buck pulled his hand out of Eddie’s and flinched at the sting of rejection that was floating through both of their minds.

Eddie took a shaky breath and clenched his jaw tightly. Buck knew that what he’d just said had stung Eddie and Eddie’s go-to reaction when he was hurt was to get angry. “Is it something I did? Am I pushing too hard?” Eddie asked and there was a slight defensiveness to his tone that made Buck’s chest ache.

“No, no it’s not you, Eddie,” Buck started and Eddie let out a humorless laugh.

“The old ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech. Okay,” Eddie said and stood up, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Eddie, listen to me,” Buck said and he felt his shoulders curl in a little. “I love you- you know that- but I’m just not sure…”

“About me?” Eddie asked and Buck shook his head.

“No, it’s not you. I’m not sure- I’m not sure that I can be what you need. What Christopher needs.” Buck felt his anxiety rising up in his chest. That was the best way he could articulate the cloying feeling that surrounded the thought of being bonded to Eddie. Eddie would know him more intimately than any other person and he wasn’t sure he could handle that. There were still things about him that he and Eddie hadn’t talked about. Abby flashed through his mind briefly and Buck ducked his head. “I’ve got a lot of baggage and I don’t want to drag you and Chris down with me.”

Eddie was very still and quiet and Buck couldn’t lift his head to look at him. He was too worried about what he was going to see there. “Okay, Buck. I’m sorry I brought it up.” Eddie was still upset, Buck could feel it, but there wasn’t any anger in his tone.

“Let’s just finish the movie,” Buck said quietly before he grabbed the remote and hit the Play button. He tried not to feel like the couple of inches of space between him and Eddie was a chasm, but it was tough since they’d been literally attached at the hip since even before they were dating.

The rest of the night passed quietly and by morning things were still awkward but with Christopher as a buffer, there wasn’t nearly as much time to focus on it. Then they were at work and they had to put everything in the backseat to focus on that. It was then that Eddie brought up the issue with the rest of the team that they’d both had on their minds recently: summer camp.

“It’s all he can talk about,” Eddie said as he passed the brochure for the camp around. “Some of the other kids from school are going. It’s only two weeks.” Buck turned to give Eddie a look for the nonchalant way he said it while Buck knew he’d been miserable at the thought of being separated from Christopher. Eddie glanced at his watch and called time on Hen’s practice MCAT.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Buck said and narrowed his eyes. Eddie hadn’t mentioned that it was two weeks long. Buck had thought it was a handful of days. “Two weeks away from home? Isn’t Chris kind of young for that? What if something happens? What if he gets homesick?”

Eddie gave Buck a flat look while the others at the 118 only seemed to be amused at Buck’s overprotectiveness. “Pretty sure I brought in the brochure so you guys could make me feel _better_ about him going.”

“Clearly, you did not think that plan through to it’s logical conclusion,” Chimney snorted and shook his head.

“I started going to sleepaway camp when I was eight, I loved it,” Bobby assured and he, Chim, and Hen all seemed to be in support of the idea, though Buck was still the voice of negativity on the idea. Which Eddie’s glare broadcasted that he did not appreciate in the slightest. It didn’t help that the remnants of the night before were still hanging around their heads. Buck winced a little and muttered an excuse before getting up and heading down to the double-check the inventories on the trucks and in the ambulance so he could get away from Eddie for a minute and breathe. He loved Eddie. He did. But something was holding him back from just telling Eddie yes. He couldn’t explain it, but it was there.

…..

The train derailment certainly wasn’t a pretty sight. Eddie was spit-balling ideas with Buck on how they could secure the vertical railway car, but it wasn’t anything that was sure so they didn’t bring any of it back to Bobby. They were just about to head back to Bobby to see what their next move was when Eddie heard someone arguing with two other firefighters, trying to get past them and up into the precariously balanced car.

“Guys, I got it,” Eddie said and pat them on the shoulder before turning to the woman.

“Please, I’ve got to get up there,” she pleaded.

“Ma’am, hey, I’m sorry but we can’t let you inside,” Eddie said calmly. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I know it’s dangerous, I _need_ to get up into that car,” she insisted.

“I hear you, but I’m sorry,” Eddie started and then her eyes flickered up to his helmet and she interrupted him before he could say anything else.

“Are you from the 118?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said and he frowned a little in confusion. He knew that people processed trauma differently- but it seemed a weird detail to focus on given the situation at hand. Why did it matter what house he was from?

“Abby!” Both of them turned to see Buck standing there, looking so much younger than he normally did as he pulled his helmet off.

“Buck,” the woman- Abby- said with a soft expression in her eyes that made something horrible curl up in Eddie’s chest. So this was Abby. The same Abby that had left Buck alone without a word as to what the actual status of their relationship was until Buck had finally given up.

“Uh…” Buck said and he looked a little dazed at Abby being right in front of him after so long. “Were you- you were on the train, we need to get you checked out.” Buck went to wrap his arm around her and lead her away but she shook her head.

“No, no, no,” she protested and ripped her arm from his grasp. “I’m fine, I need to get up there.”

“What? No, that’s crazy,” Buck said and jumped in front of her protectively. Eddie couldn’t do anything other than watch as the two of them started arguing. “Abby, Abby, stop!”

“I’m trying to find somebody!” She snapped at him with her status fully behind her words and Buck’s head immediately snapped down in submission. Eddie went tense as he watched Abby slowly pull and Buck lifted his head.

“Okay,” Buck said quietly and he gestured over his shoulder vaguely. “Well, just, tell us who. We’re- we’re going-”

“My bond mate,” Abby said tearfully and Eddie saw the moment that the hurt overtook Buck. His whole body seemed to recoil from it and he unconsciously leaned into where Eddie was hovering at his shoulder. “He fell asleep and I went to the bar…”

“Okay,” Eddie cut in as he saw that Buck wasn’t in any shape to respond at the moment. “Can you give us a description?” She nodded and dug into her pocket for her phone- presumably to pull up a picture- and Eddie glanced over at where Buck couldn’t take his eyes off of her face.

“That’s him.” Abby held up a picture and Eddie scanned over the man’s features a couple times so he could commit them to memory. “We were in that top car right there,” she said and pointed to the car that was still vertical, “all the way in the back.”

Eddie nodded and he reached out to touch Buck’s arm comfortingly, but at the last minute he pulled back. Buck didn’t seem like he would want Eddie to touch him right now. He sprinted off, figuring that Buck would stay behind to make sure Abby got looked at, to tell Bobby that he was going to go up into that car to see what he could do.

…..

Bond mate.

Those two little words seemed to be all Buck could hear besides the rush of blood past his ears. He was sure that his eyes were glinting dangerously, but he quickly stuffed down his emotions. He was on the job, he couldn’t afford to lose control and shift right now. He looked up at Abby and gave her a short nod. “We’ll find him,” Buck said and shakily turned to follow after Eddie. Then he turned back with a grimace. “Uh, what’s his name?”

“Sam… Eagan,” Abby said and Buck could tell that she was trying to hold back tears.

“Sam,” Buck said and he couldn’t help the bitterness that seeped into his voice. “I got it.” He went to turn away again when he heard Abby speak.

“Thank you, Buck.”

“No!” Buck said sharply, though quietly, as he faced her. “No, don’t worry about it.” He let out a humorless laugh and lifted his eyes to hers. “We’ll bring him back to you. I promise.” He put his helmet back on his head and then met back up with Eddie. “What’s the plan, Eds?”

“I’m headed up there to see if there are any survivors,” Eddie answered carefully as he buckled on a climbing helmet so that he’d have a light to see with.

“I’m coming with you,” Buck said and went over to the truck to switch his own gear.

“Buck-”

“I’m fine, Eddie,” Buck said irritably at the soft look in Eddie’s eyes. He didn’t want Eddie’s pity. He was going to do _his job_. Eddie looked like he wanted to argue, but he bit his tongue and just nodded.

The climb up was strenuous and they didn’t have any of their normal climbing gear to help them out so it was slow going as they tried to make sure that the structure would support their weight as they climbed. They called in two black tags to Bobby before finding the guy from Abby’s photo, alive.

Eddie immediately jumped into action taking the man’s vitals and assessing his injuries while Buck radioed down to Bobby about the support beam that was pinning Sam and making it impossible, for the moment, for them to bring him down. Bobby had just radioed that he was about to bring up the requested equipment when the car started to shake and shift, throwing both Buck and Eddie around inside. Buck clung onto whatever was closest and kept his eyes on Eddie to make sure the alpha wasn’t about to get thrown down from his precarious position.

“You good?” Buck asked, nerves making his voice tremble a little as Eddie pushed himself up carefully.

“Yeah, you?” Eddie asked as he shuffled closer to keep an eye on Sam’s injuries. Buck just nodded. It wasn’t long before they caught sight of Bobby bringing up the equipment they needed. Buck went to work trying to move the beam with the jaws as Eddie filled Bobby in on the severity of Sam’s injuries.

“Too heavy,” Buck grunted as he unwedged the jaws and passed them back to Bobby. “It’s not going to budge.”

“Alright, let’s try the hydraulic ram,” Bobby said and handed the heavier piece of equipment to Buck. Buck managed to get it wedged into a decent position but as he was trying to move the beam, they heard someone crying out and Bobby and Eddie were both yelling at him. Buck fumbled for the switch when Eddie smacked his shoulder and Buck turned the ram off.

“We got somebody else,” Eddie said and followed the beam until he found the other person the beam was pinning. It was a woman if the voice was anything to go by since Buck couldn’t really see that well. Buck watched Eddie as he moved about assessing her injuries and he recoiled a little. “Oh, God,” Eddie mumbled under his breath. “The force of the crash pushed her leg up into her torso.” Both Buck and Bobby recoiled at that information as well. Bobby and Eddie said something to one another and then they were moving away from the patient and talking to each other.

Buck made his way over and looked between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“They’re both trapped by the same beam,” Bobby explained, “we take the pressure off of him and we’re squeezing her.” Bobby looked over to Eddie seriously. “Which one has the better shot?”

“Injuries are different, but the risk is the same,” Eddie said and shrugged helplessly.

“Wai- what are we saying?” Buck asked with a frown as he glanced between both of them. “We’ve got to pick who we save?” Buck felt a spike of panic race through him at that.

“I’m saying I don’t think we can save them both,” Bobby admitted with a grimace. Buck’s stomach sank and he swiped a hand over his face as he tried to calm the anxiety buzzing at the back of his skull. He and Eddie moved to get a line into Sam so they could at least manage his pain while they figured this out.

“Keep him talking,” Eddie said with a sympathetic look.

Usually, Buck was pretty good at talking to their patients- keeping their minds of what was going on right then and monitoring their alertness- but this was different. “It’s her or me, isn’t it?” Sam asked in a croaking voice, most likely due to the damage to his lungs.

“No,” Buck lied and it left a bad taste in his mouth. “No, that’s not what we do.” Buck latched onto the first topic he could think of. “Why don’t you tell me about your bond mate?” Because apparently Buck was a glutton for punishment. “When’s the wedding?”

“June. She wants to wait ‘til the girls are done with school.”

“You’re a father?” Buck asked shakily through the feeling like there was a vice around his own chest.

“Yeah,” he said and nodded, a wistful smile on his face. “Tess, Natalie.” Buck just gave him as reassuring a smile as he could muster and hoped to God that they could get both of them out of here so he could keep his promise.

…..

“Okay,” Bobby said as he leaned in close so that only Eddie would be able to hear him, “I’m calling it. Start with the girl and we get her out.” Eddie nodded tiredly and sighed. He hated that they were having to make a choice, but there wasn’t anything else they could do at this point. They were too high up and without a lot of the support they needed.

“Copy that,” Eddie said and started to move to do just that but Buck was moving closer and shaking his head.

“Wait- no, no, no, that’s going to crush Sam’s other lung. He’s going to die,” Buck hissed and Bobby just gave him a sympathetic look.

“I am aware of that, but protocol dictates that we save whomever has the better chance and Eddie’s saying that’s the girl,” Bobby said slowly.

Buck’s eyes flashed over to him in betrayal.

“Her vitals are stronger,” Eddie said tiredly. “He’s starting to decompensate. If we have to choose-”

“We do. We can’t move that steel beam.” Just as Bobby finished his sentence the railway car gave another lurch and they all braced themselves.

“Okay,” Buck said once the shaking had stopped and Eddie hated the look in his eyes. It always meant more stress than Eddie’s heart was comfortable taking. “You’re right. The beam is steel, but the skin on this thing- the skin is stainless. That’s much thinner. I could go outside, I could cut a piece out, pull the girl through, and that will buy us enough room to save Sam.”

“No,” Bobby said and shook his head. “This car hasn’t been secured. That’s why we’re working on the inside. If this thing topples we can ride it down, but if you’re on the outside-”

“Yeah, I know!” Buck snapped and stared intently at Bobby’s face. “I will be crushed by one hundred tons of train car, and I know that is a _lot_ heavier than a fire truck. But Bobby-”

“Buck, stop!” Eddie shouted and frowned at him. What was Buck thinking? There was no ‘but’ to this situation. There was no way that he could pull this off without getting hurt himself. And Eddie felt sick just thinking of the way Buck had looked when he’d been pinned under that truck. His stomach turned at the thought of having to go through all of it all over again and he had to swallow thickly before he could speak. “Alright, I know you made a promise-”

“What promise?” Bobby asked.

Eddie looked at Buck with an apologetic wince. Buck just gave him a sharp glance before focusing on Bobby. “To his bond mate. I promised I would bring him back to her.”

“What?” Bobby asked and gave Buck a surprised look. All of them knew better than to make promises in their line of work. Things were almost always too unpredictable for that. And Bobby knew that Buck knew that.

“To Abby.” Eddie couldn’t help the disgust and jealousy that dripped from his tone. “His bond mate’s Abby,” Eddie snapped before he levered himself towards the girl as Bobby ducked his head in frustration.

“Okay…”

“No, look-” Buck started to plead his case and Eddie tried to tune him out, to focus on his work, but it was hard to. Was this why Buck didn’t want to bond to Eddie? Was it because he was still in love with Abby? The thought made Eddie squirm a little. “It’s not just about her. Okay, he is a father. He has two daughters.”

“Stop,” Bobby said firmly. “You are too close to this. This is too risky.”

“Well, I am _willing_ to take the risk.” Eddie snapped his head over to look at Buck in shock.

“It’s not yours to take!” Bobby snapped back and glared Buck down. “You can’t just rush into any dangerous situation and assume it’s gonna be okay. ‘Cause sometimes it’s not and I am tired of being on the wrong side of those hospital doors.”

“Bobby!” Buck shouted and he was shaking with how upset he was. “I am _not_ Athena.”

“What did you just say to me?” Bobby asked, his hackles raised in a way that Eddie had never seen Bobby handle Buck- or anyone really but it was especially odd with Buck- before.

“Enough!” Eddie snapped and both of them turned to look at him. “We don’t have time for this.” Eddie reached out as best he could and brushed his fingers over Buck’s turnout jacket. “Buck, come on.” He gave Buck a pleading look, trying to convey everything he was thinking about. He didn’t want to be in another hospital with Buck, unsure if Buck was going to be able to pull through this time, he didn’t want to have to go home and tell Christopher that Buck wasn’t coming home- that Buck was gone in the same way that Shannon was gone, he didn’t want to think about his life going on without Buck in it. But Buck’s jaw was set stubbornly.

“I can do this. Just trust me,” Buck said as he glanced between the two of them. “Eddie… please.” Eddie let out a soft breath at the way everything in Buck seemed to soften.

Eddie looked at Bobby, who was watching him carefully, and nodded hesitantly. He still didn’t like the idea, but he trusted Buck. That would just have to be enough.

Eddie tried to focus completely on his work as he bounced between Sam and the girl, making sure to keep track of both their vitals, but when the car shook violently, his eyes snapped to the window where he could see Buck trying to saw through the side of the car. His heart nearly stopped as he waited what felt like forever for it to stop. He let out a soft breath when the car didn’t fall and Buck finally ripped off the outer covering. Buck got the girl down and then Eddie was getting the beam out of the way and getting Sam on the basket and sent down. When Eddie got down onto steady ground, he was going to kiss Buck and then shake him for being such an idiot.

When he was finally down, he found Buck standing by the ambulance that they were loading Sam into. Eddie stepped in front of Buck protectively as Buck just watched Sam and Abby get into the ambulance and then the doors swing shut. “You okay?” Eddie asked and watched as Buck finally broke eye contact and turned away, curling in him himself a bit.

“What’s next?” Buck asked his voice raw as he turned to head back to the truck.

Eddie followed after him and Buck was putting his climbing helmet and harness back into their compartment on the truck as Eddie watched him carefully. “Buck,” Eddie said quietly but Buck didn’t seem to hear him. “Buck,” Eddie tried again as he gently touched Buck’s elbow but Buck just shrugged him off. “ _Evan_ …” Buck turned to him and he looked absolutely wrecked. Eddie pulled Buck in by the front of his turnout gear and just held onto him as the other trembled. “It’s okay,” Eddie murmured quietly and brushed a kiss against Buck’s temple. He wasn’t sure if it was everything with Abby or just the adrenaline crash from the stunt he’d just pulled, but either way every part of Eddie was screaming to protect Buck. “I’ve got you.” He tightened his hold just a little as Buck’s fingers dug into the fabric of his turnout gear. He smoothed a hand over the back of Buck’s head and just leaned the both of them against the side of the truck to have a moment to breathe and take comfort in one another.

…..

Buck knew that Eddie wasn’t happy with him for agreeing to meet with Abby- after everything that had happened in Buck and Abby’s shared past as well as the night of the train derailment- when she’d texted him. But Buck also knew that he would regret it if he didn’t. He didn’t get closure last time when he’d waited for her and waited for her- hoping that she would come home and then feeling lost when he realized she wasn’t going to- but now he could. And he wanted it.

He felt twitchy as he waited on the park bench for her and just listened to the city around him as he tried to calm his nerves. He turned his head as he caught her familiar scent- something strong and tangy- to see her standing there and smiling at him tentatively. At one point in his life, that smile had felt like everything to him, but now it just made him smile hesitantly back.

“Hi,” she said and settled on the bench beside him, keeping some distance between them.

“Uh… hey.”

“Thanks for meeting me,” Abby said and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Yeah,” Buck said and ducked his head nervously. “How’s-uh, how’s Sam?” Buck asked, forcing a smile onto his face.

“He’s good,” she said and something in her face softened at the mention of him. “They’re expecting a full recovery.”

“Good,” Buck said and gave her another weak smile. “He seems like a great guy.”

“He said the same thing about you,” Abby said and Buck felt something in his chest drop at that. He wasn’t sure why but it made him feel weird. “And I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did.”

Buck shook his head with a grimace. “Just doing my job. That’s all.”

There was an awkward pause and Buck tugged at his sleeve as he tried to figure out if there was anything he wanted to say to her. He still wasn’t sure how he was feeling about all of this so it was complicated.

“I’m sorry that you had to find out about it this way. I had actually wanted to talk to you about everything while I was in town.”

Buck felt a surge of irritation. “ _That’s_ what you’re sorry for?” He asked, some of his disbelief at how callous she was being dripping into his tone. Buck took a breath before pushing on. “When did you know that you were leaving me for good?” He asked. It was the question that had been simmering in the back of his mind for so long now. She fumbled but Buck just plowed over the start of what could only be a flimsy excuse. “You know, was it- uh- was it Morocco or- or Paris or Dublin?” She grimaced a little but Buck couldn’t stop himself. “Or did you know when we were at the airport, and I was kissing you goodbye and _promising_ you that I would wait for you?” His voice wavered a little as he sucked in a breath. “Did you know then that you were _never_ coming back to me?”

“I thought I would,” she answered quickly and Buck just looked away from her. “Look, I was a person whose life revolved around everybody else’s problems. I had no identity other than the people that I was helping. My 911 calls, my dying mother…” She shook her head as if it were Buck that was being unreasonable by asking. “I just had no sense of self. I had to leave everything that I knew so that I could remember who I actually am.”

“And you did, right?” Buck asked. He could see that that was true by the flicker behind her eyes. “I mean you did remember, but… you still didn’t come home.”

“Yeah,” she sighed heavily, “I know.” Another tense silence hung between them as Abby struggled to find the right words. “I think I was afraid that if I came back, I would become that person again. Because I missed you. I wanted to see you.” Buck just nodded, but he wasn’t sure he believed her. If she’d missed him so much, she could have called, answered his messages, but she didn’t. She just left him wondering what it was that he’d done wrong. “But I didn’t trust myself.”

“Because being here- being _with me_ \- you might lose yourself again?” Buck looked over at her and she was nodding with a slightly pained expression.

“Yeah,” she said just barely above a whisper.

Buck felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, though he couldn’t understand why. He didn’t really feel that much better and Abby’s apology wasn’t really even about what Buck thought it should be. He wet his lips as he thought about what else he wanted to say. “I’m… glad to see you happy, Abby. You deserve it.”

“And what about you?” Abby asked after an awkward amount of tense silence.

“Hm?” Buck frowned a little at the question.

“Are you happy, Buck? Is there anyone special in your life?” Abby asked and gave him a small, friendly smile. It was a peace offering and Buck knew it. He quirked a small but genuine smile.

“Uh, yeah,” Buck said and he rubbed the back of his neck. “You actually met him the night of the crash. Eddie, the firefighter that was on the inside of the car, is uh- we’re dating. He’s- he’s great. The best, really. He’s got a kid too. Christopher.” Buck pulled out his phone and showed Abby his lock screen: a picture of Christopher and Eddie at their favorite ice cream place. Christopher had chocolate smeared around his mouth and even on the end of his nose and Eddie was trying to wipe his son’s mouth but Christopher was holding his wrists and arching away from him. It had just been too ridiculous for Buck not to snap a picture. Though Buck wished he’d gotten a picture of when Christopher had smeared his ice cream into Eddie’s eyebrow in his attempt to wrestle the napkin away from his father’s hands. Eddie’s face had been priceless.

“Very cute,” Abby said with a smile. “He seemed really nice- and I’m sure that he understands the job since he’s a firefighter too.”

Buck nodded as he tucked his phone into his pocket again. “Eddie’s… Eddie’s a lot of things and we didn’t get off on the right foot at all, but he’s the best thing in my life. Him and Christopher are everything to me.” Buck should have felt embarrassed telling Abby that, but he didn’t. He just felt content and happy showing off his boys.

“You deserve to have someone who’s as devoted as you are.” Abby tentatively placed a hand on his knee. Buck covered her hand before nodding resolutely and standing up.

“I hate to cut this short but- uh- there’s someplace I’ve got to be,” Buck said and his heart kicked up a little in his chest as he tucked his hands into his pockets to dig for his keys.

“Yeah, of course,” Abby said and waved him off. Buck sprinted towards the parking lot and he was pretty sure that he was speeding as he drove the familiar way to the Diaz house, but he didn’t get caught so that was what mattered. He needed to talk to Eddie and he needed to talk to him now before he lost his nerve or the hurt festered between them.

Buck threw the Jeep into park and quickly swung open the front door once he’d managed to get it unlocked. Eddie blinked at him from where he’d been crossing the living room with a basket of Christopher’s dirty laundry so he could throw a load into the washer. “I thought you’d be gone longer,” Eddie said as he watched Buck toss his keys into the bowl by the door.

“I was an idiot before,” Buck said without any preamble. “I should have said yes when you asked to be bonded because there is literally _no one_ else in this world that I could ever love more than you and Christopher.” Buck took a few steps forward, taking the laundry basket out of Eddie’s hands and setting it aside so he could lean into Eddie’s chest. “When I was talking to Abby it made me realize that part of me was still holding onto her because I didn’t have any closure.” Hurt flickered in Eddie’s face, but Buck just smoothed a thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone to soothe it away. “But I have it now, and even though I was holding onto her and thinking that maybe a small part of me would always love her, I don’t. I don’t love her, I haven’t since I met you, and I don’t want anything to be in our way anymore.”

Eddie’s heartrate kicked up and he pressed his hands against Buck’s hips. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I’m saying that you can’t get rid of me, Edmundo Diaz. I’m _yours_.” Buck grinned at Eddie and Eddie just beamed back before pulling Buck in for a searing kiss that had him clutching onto Eddie’s shoulders to keep him grounded. Eddie backed Buck up against the wall in the hallway and he ducked his head to start pressing kisses down Buck’s neck, his hands slipping under Buck’s shirt.

“Ew! Gross!”

Both of them nearly jumped out of their skin as they turned to see Christopher wrinkling his nose at them. Buck could feel the heat off of Eddie’s blush as he quickly pulled his hands out from under Buck’s shirt and tucked them into his own back pockets guiltily.

“I thought you were doing homework, _mijo_ ,” Eddie said and thumbed at his bottom lip like that would erase the fact that Christopher had walked in on them making out.

“All my schoolwork is finished. It’s the end of the year,” Christopher said with an unimpressed look. “That’s why May’s graduation party is at the end of the week.”

“Right,” Eddie said and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Does this mean that Buck’s going to live here with us?” Christopher asked innocently and looked between the two of them. Buck looked at Eddie with a raised eyebrow and Eddie was just smiling a little at Christopher.

“Well…” Eddie said and he glanced at Buck out of the corner of his eye, “if Buck wanted to come and live here would you be alright with that?”

“I like it when Buck’s here,” Christopher said easily. Then he eyed the two of them suspiciously. “But if he lives here does that mean you two are gonna kiss more?”

Buck let out a surprised burst of laughter and Eddie’s face turned even redder as he looked up at the ceiling, muttering in Spanish under his breath so even Buck couldn’t hear him. “I hate to break it to you, Chris, but I think it does,” Buck pointed out.

Christopher’s face twisted up in thought before he sighed dramatically. “I guess I’ll just have to suck it up since you make Dad so happy.” He may have rolled his eyes a little, but he was smiling so both Buck and Eddie knew he was joking.

“Well isn’t that magnanimous of you,” Buck teased as he scooped Christopher up and ticked his sides. Christopher shrieked in delight and tried to push Buck’s hands away.

“Dad! Dad, save me!” Christopher shouted as he tried to wiggle out of Buck’s arms. Eddie was laughing brightly as he started chasing Buck around the house, Buck swinging Christopher over his shoulder so he was more secure in Buck’s hold as he carefully dodged Eddie’s attempts to grab him.

It ended up with a bruised knee on Eddie’s part and a jammed funny bone on Buck’s, but they all slumped into a pile of messy laughter on the couch and Buck’s heart felt so warm and content as Christopher sprawled his legs over his chest. There really was nowhere else he’d have rather been than right where he was.

…..

May’s graduation party was packed with people. The whole 118 crew and their families were there as well as a bunch of May’s friends and their parents. Buck’s whole chest was warm with happiness as he moved over to give May a tight hug. When she pulled away she looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes. “You seem different,” she said and looked him over. Her gaze was as discerning as Athena’s and Buck couldn’t help but squirm.

“Just proud of you,” Buck said and gave her shoulders a gentle shake. “Now, I’ve heard a lot about a boyfriend of yours and as your Honorary Big Brother…” Buck trailed off playfully and started inching towards where Darius was talking to Bobby.

“Don’t you dare!” May squeaked and tugged on his shirt. “Or I’ll sic Eddie on you.”

Buck laughed and held his hands up. “Alright, alright. But just a thought, what makes you think that Eddie wouldn’t just help me?” May opened and shut her mouth before glaring at him.

“Go dance with your boyfriend and his kid and leave me alone. And Darius!” She scolded him as he darted over to where Eddie as wiggling- because it could _not_ be classified as dancing- with Christopher. He grinned at the pair of them before stepping in to talk to Maddie and Karen, Chim and Hen just a half-step away.

“Are you done antagonizing May?” Maddie asked with a knowing smile.

“Hey, I’m just taking my duties as older sibling very seriously,” Buck said and slung an arm around her shoulders. “I mean, I learned from the best.” Maddie just beamed at him happily.

“You little brat!” May said and their little group turned to see May, a smear of frosting across her cheek, chasing after Harry, who had frosting on his hands. “I’m gonna get you!” Eddie took a step back to avoid getting caught in the crossfire as he made his way over.

“At least I didn’t do that,” Buck pointed out with a grin.

“I’m pretty sure you’d have had to face the combined wrath of Bobby and Athena if you had,” Eddie pointed out as he put a hand on the small of Buck’s back. Buck plucked the drink from Eddie’s hand and took a sip.

They all talked for a while, Buck drifting around the party to see if there was anything he could help with but always ending up back at Eddie’s side and happy to be there. Maddie dragged him off towards the photobooth that Athena had ordered and then it was a blur of photos with Maddie, Christopher, the main crew of the 118- minus Bobby just because he was so busy helping Michael and Athena, and then a couple with May at her insistence. He was still laughing at the photo where he had used the end of May’s hair as a fake mustache when Eddie sidled up beside him.

“Having fun?” Eddie asked and perched his chin on Buck’s shoulder.

“You know I am,” Buck said and nudged Eddie’s chest with his elbow lightly. The thrum of their bond was new, but it felt so good and right and was what kept pulling the two of them together like magnets. “Come on, just a few more pictures. Just me and you.” Buck tugged at Eddie’s beltloop and he laughed before nodding.

“Alright, but only a couple,” Eddie said and poked at Buck’s arm to emphasize his point. Buck dragged him in and they were goofing around and- frankly- being idiots. Buck leaned into Eddie’s space quickly, trying to get him to make a silly face in shock, but he ended up knocking Eddie in the nose with the plastic necklaces he had on. It worked to make Eddie make a face, his eyes crossing as he wrinkled his nose. Buck laughed and lightly touched the bridge of his nose. He leaned in and pressed a kiss there before giving Eddie a quick peck as an apology. Eddie just pressed his face against the side of Buck’s head. “I should find Christopher.”

“I’ll be right behind you,” Buck said and smoothed his hand over Eddie’s side. They pulled off the ridiculous accessories and put them back into the prop box, Eddie heading over to where Christopher was talking to Maddie and Chim while Buck decided to step outside for a second. He found Bobby out on the patio and walked up to him, bumping their shoulders together. “Hey,” Buck said and shot Bobby a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to apologize. For the train.”

Bobby just shrugged. “Look, it’s alright. We both got a little hot.” Bobby looked him over with the same scrutinizing look that May had given him earlier. “You doin’ okay?”

Buck ducked his head and let out a little huff of laughter. “Yeah,” he said easily and wasn’t that the understatement of the century. He glanced over at Bobby and broke out into a grin. “I think I am.”

“Good,” Bobby said and clapped his hand down onto Buck’s shoulder to give him a playful shake. They both went inside and Buck made his way over to press a kiss against the side of Eddie’s neck. Eddie swatted at his hip and then reached up to shove at Buck’s jaw.

Buck grimaced at the stickiness on Eddie’s hands and he shot Eddie a disgusted look as he noticed that Eddie was picking up pieces of cake with his fingers to give to Christopher. “Oh, Eddie, there are _forks_.”

“Don’t be such a baby, Buck. It’s fine,” Eddie said and sucked a smear of frosting off of his thumb. “What’re you worried about, cooties?” Eddie asked and Buck rolled his eyes.

“More like the interior of my Jeep once you get your sticky hands all over it.” Buck picked Christopher up and swung him up onto his hip. “Tell your dad he’s being gross.”

“But he has my cake,” Christopher pointed out and both Buck and Eddie laughed at the eight year old’s logic.

“A very good point,” Buck said as he brushed a kiss against the side of Christopher’s head. “I will go get you a fork then, Superman. Since your dad is determined to continue his heathen ways.” Eddie rolled his eyes before smearing cake over Buck’s cheek in retaliation. Buck just flicked his ear before going over to the desert table and grabbing a fork for Christopher and a napkin for Eddie’s hands.

Maddie and Chim sped walk past him and made a beeline for the door without saying a word to anyone, which Buck thought was strange but he figured that he’d text Maddie later and see what was up. Christopher accepted the fork and Buck forced Eddie to take the napkin, but most of Eddie’s protests were just for the fun of bantering back and forth. Eddie, not usually one for PDA, ducked in and gave Buck a kiss to playfully shut him up and Buck just leaned into it, content to have Eddie’s arm around his waist.

“Would you two just bond already,” Michael muttered, rolling his eyes playfully, as he passed them. Buck felt his cheeks flush a little and he ducked his head to rest on Eddie’s shoulder.

“They’re gonna lose it when we tell them,” Eddie chuckled against Buck’s hair.

“Probably,” Buck said and pulled away. “But in a good way.” Eddie hummed his agreement. Buck tugged at the hem of Eddie’s shirt. “Hey, let’s go find that awesome kid of yours and see what he’s up to.”

Eddie’s smile was nearly blinding. “Sounds perfect.”

…..

Eddie smiled and waved as Christopher got onto the bus to head off to camp. He was excited, Eddie could feel it humming in his chest almost as strongly as if it were his own, and Eddie didn’t want to dampen that by being nervous and hovering. Eddie was almost glad that Buck wasn’t here because he had a shift. Buck would have been a mess if his and Christopher’s goodbye at the house was anything to go by. But still, it would have been nice to not be standing in the parking lot alone as the bus pulled away.

Before he’d gotten onto the bus, Chris had slipped a card into Eddie’s hands and made him promise not to open it until he was gone. Eddie waited until the bus was at the stop sign at the end of the parking lot before he opened up the card. He smiled at Christopher’s familiar handwriting.

_You’re going to have a great time_

_Christopher_

Eddie traced over the colorful words with a smile before lifting his head to watch the bus turn the corner and then disappear. He felt something settle in his chest and he made his way to his truck so that he could head home. Buck would be off shift soon and he could show him the card from Christopher and figure out what the hell they were going to for two weeks without the center of their little universe.

Turns out, Buck already had a couple of ideas- and Eddie loved every single one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> This took absolutely FOREVER to write (it ended up being 240 pages long on Word-OOF- which is why it's broken up into two parts despite it all being one long piece), but I wanted to try and do it justice- as much as I could anyway. It was a difficult and slightly uncomfortable request (fourteen year old me was obsessed with werewolf AU/omegaverse so I was mostly cringing at myself the whole time) but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.  
> Come yell at me about it on tumblr  
> https://obvious-captain-rogers.tumblr.com/  
> -James


End file.
